||KIMULI||

I fucked up!

I went too far this time. Or at least that's what I am thinking. I eye the hard rigid on my jeans. She made me like this. Without much of a try. A random girl will try to seduce me into action but she need just walk right up to me with a tight garment and I'm screwed. I thought she was like other women. But she is not. She is somehow different. And I hate myself for almost destroying an innocent woman. A freaking virgin. I have fucked and fingered women before to know who is a virgin or not. She is a freaking virgin!

Damn it!

Getting Adan to bed was a clear motive in the beginning. But when complications like seeing her naked scarred body trembling in front of me and knowing she is a freaking virgin made the motive a blur. She lied to me the scars were nothing. As far as I know, no one is born with such scars as birthmarks. They must have come from something like a beating. A ruthless beating. That raises my curiosity, leading me to ask myself who this girl is. What her story is and why it looks like a dark one.

Normally it is not in me to get carried away by an employee's life story but with her, I feel attracted. I need to know what her story is. And I got so many reasons that push me into it all.

First, she came back to accept my deal. Even though I took a bet on her return, I knew she was confident in her decision of not wanting anything to do with the one-night thingie. But when she came, she sounded vulnerable. Like she wanted it so much along with the twenty thousand. I saw through her, she lied that she wasn't thinking right. She was in her damn straight mind and that leads me to think something motivated her. And that is what I want to know, the motivation.

Secondly, she was ready to sell her virginity at twenty thousand. A mere twenty thousand. Sure some have given it for free or with a lesser amount of money. But this is my club. Ladies know better than just drain twenty thousand from a man's pocket when it's their virginity they are auctioning. They will demand more than that for a night. So, either she still is unfamiliar with how everything works or she is ignorant as long as she gets the money.

Thirdly, she looked happy when I accepted the deal. If she was a regular, she would have negotiated the deal after seeing how easy it was for me to accept. Trying to raise the money. She didn't. She was content with it as long as I gave it to her.

Last but not least, she was more worried about the money when I went to the room even though she was still worried about whatever we were going to do. Or rather I was going to do. She said it was for survival. Crucial survival. It made me smirk. But she was serious by the look of her honey eyes.

Zawadi isn't a rebellious home escapee.
She is an escapee, yes, but a refugee. She ran from home to escape something. And I will do whatever it takes to get to know what that thing is. It may take me time but it doesn't matter as long as I get to the bottom of everything.

The bottom of everything.

I realize that I don't even know anything about her save that she is a pretty woman, a virgin for that matter, Kes' best friend and she has a mom and sister. Oh, and she is an employee in my club. Just that. Very shallow and big for me to start thinking of getting to the bottom of everything. Regardless, I'll still get to the bottom.

I kiss Jane, hard and demanding. Bruising her lips as she does the same to mine. She is drunk and horny. I am mad and super horny. And she is the one woman available for me to use to cool off the steam and clear my head a little. She likes it when we go crazy and tear each other's clothes off to get one hell of a fuck.

She wants me to fuck her in my office but I don't do that. I have respect for my personal spaces. Instead, I take her to the only room I am sure isn't occupied. The room that was supposed to be mine and Zawadi's for the night. I know it's whacked but I do not care. I have no time to go to my computer to check unoccupied rooms while that one is still at our disposal. I drag her out of my office and lock it. One of her fuck me shoes is in her hand while the other in her leg. She walks up the stairs like that. It makes me want to laugh but it is not a good time to be laughing.

We are outside the room, she doesn't even wait for me to unlock the door peacefully. She hauls me and kisses the hell out of me. I retaliate with the same force until we are on the bed fucking like rabbits. Sweat dripping from our drunken bodies. I channel all the hate and frustration I feel for being a jerk into the moment. She screams in pleasure until she sucks me in with her climax. I groan as I spill every seed and regret of almost destroying a vulnerable innocent woman into the rubber in her vagina.

Though the dark part of me that enjoyed seeing her convulse under me and scream my name holds on. It doesn't want to leave me. It wants more but I am a selfish bastard who will not agree to its requests this time. I can't take advantage of her again. I will tame that dark part.

"That was one hell of a fuck," she says grinning. I smirk in agreement.

I feel spent and worn out. All I want is to sleep and relax my racing head but I can't do it here. I need to go home. Have a few beer bottles and then head to bed. I move away from her and dump the disgusting rubber in the trash can. Collect my clothes from the floor put them on one by one. Jane looks at me in a frown. I ignore her. She won't understand what is going on in my head. Not that I would tell her anyway.

"What's the hurry for?" she asks wrapping a cover over her body.

"I need to go out. I have something I forgot to hand in and it's needed urgently," I lie. She whines in a whisper. I bend to put on my shoes.

"Zawadi," she mumbles but it's loud enough for me to hear. Immediately, my hands stop working on my shoes.

"What?" I inquire looking up at her.

"There was a woman named Zawadi here," she says holding a chain in her hand.

I let out a heavy sigh of relief knowing she does not suspect that Zawadi is the woman is who fucking with my head.

I stare at the silver chain. It still looks new. It must be hers. And it must have come off when things got a little heated. Fuck me and the part that still enjoys that. It makes me feel like possessing her. And make her possess me too.

"Let me see," I say as I make my way to her. She hands it over. I scrutinize the piece. It is an expensive design and I am thinking Kes gave it to her. She likes this sort of jewellery. "I'll have it."

I stuff in my pocket as I dip my head to kiss her lightly. I drown her in kisses to make her drunken self forget about the chain. "Dress up and let me get you home," I say retreating from the kiss. She steps off the bed and does as I ask.

☆☆☆☆

I drove Jane home and thought about going to my place. I was halfway there when I turned my truck and went back to mom's place. I felt like I needed her. Her advice mostly. She is wiser and has always brought me out of situations Inver thought I would never get out. I have a good feeling that she will also help me with this one too. I may not tell her every detail, she will not like it. But the small one I'll provide will be enough for her to get exactly what I am talking about.

She still isn't home. It's almost two in the morning and I am starting to worry. It's unlike her not to be home at this hour. I tell myself she must be on set. Sometimes they do extend until late at night. But not as late as 2 am. I pour another shot of my whiskey. My mind is still tied up to Zawadi. She won't leave my mind no matter how much hard I try. I know I love getting into women's pants but I didn't have to fuck up that way. It should not bother me but it's really bothering me. Everything is a blur when it comes to her.

I hear the door lock turn. She is here. I sit up and look at the entranceway waiting for her. When she sees me her eyes ball out in shock. More so when she eyes the half-empty bottle on the table. She kicks off her shoes and quickly heads my way.

"Nooo! Evans," she says shaking her head. She calls me Evans when it's serious business. She takes the whiskey bottle and glass away to the dining table.

"What is wrong?" she asks heading towards me. She sits next to me.

"I screwed up big time. Today, I almost destroyed an innocent woman," I say hesitantly.

"Why? What did you do?" she asks curiously.

"I forced her into doing something she didn't want to," I say. She eyes me curiously. It's her way of trying to figure how much I am keeping from her. Leave it to her to know all that. "But I didn't do it. I stopped myself before making a huge mistake."

"It's called self-control, Evans. Now, why would you do something like that?" she asks. I have no answer to that question.

"That's the problem. I do not know why." She tsks. She hates it. I hate it too.

"But you do know that you can always make up for it, right? Ask for forgiveness or something," she advises. It has to be the worst advice for a freak like me. Starting to apologise to Zawadi for making her sleep with me to keep her job seems like the most ridiculous thing I have ever done. But maybe I can make it up to her. I just have to think of a way I can do it.

"Apologizing isn't going to work. She probably hates me by now, mom."

"Then think. Get your head in motion and come up with something that will make her forgive you. Be wise." She says as she stands and leaves. "Clean up the mess you made in the kitchen, please," she says walking upstairs.

I grumble yes. It hurts me to know that my fear of settling down has pushed me into becoming the one thing my father was, a womanizer. His reasons might be different from mine but we are still the same. I never wished to be one. But now I am. And the only way I can change that is to start by working on my screwed self. Sure I do have glimpses of having a sweet woman in my life but I never let the thoughts linger in my mind for long. I consider them unhealthy. Perhaps it's time I started embracing them and see if I can find myself a woman who can satisfy every inch of my life. However, that can wait. I still have a pressing problem right now.