Chapter 6

It's Thursday and Elly still hasn't spoken to me. She must've saw me outside with Myra because ever since she's been ignoring my calls, my texts and even ignoring me when I try to talk to her at lunch. In fact, it's almost lunchtime now, I can't wait to sit through another silent lunch. She still sits with me, but she doesn't say anything to me.

It doesn't help that Myra all of a sudden goes to our school now, she's always touching me and trying to flirt with me. She doesn't stay at school for lunch so at least I don't have to deal with that, probably off at her crazy crack house.

When I get to my table Elly is already there, look of hatred frozen on her face. She seems different though. Her eyes don't have their usual intensity and she has little wrinkles under her eyes. I notice she doesn't have a lunch either.

"Why aren't you eating?" Elly looks at me, but doesn't say a word. Her hands are stuffed inside of a big black hoodie.

"Did you already eat?" Still nothing. I get angry, I'm done with this ridiculous silent treatment.

"I know you're mad because of Myra. I know you are and that isn't fair at all! I can't just sit on the sidelines waiting for you," I tell her in an angry whisper.

"Did you have sex with her again?"

Her question throws me off guard. "What? Uh, why does that matter?"

Elly raises her voice. "Did you have sex with Myra?" A few heads turn in our direction.

I don't answer and Elly stands and walks away from the table. Then I hear Myra, I turn around. Myra is in Elly's face right behind me.

"Why the fuck do you think it's your business who I'm with?" Myra asks menacingly.

Elly laughs. "You're with Declan? Seems to me you're just a useless blow-up doll he fucks every once in a while." The cafeteria falls silent and Myra's face goes red.

"What did you say, you stupid bitch?" Elly gets closer to Myra. Oh no, this doesn't look good.

"Well, considering he tells me he loves me all of the time. You're just a girl to fuck until I'm available."

I can't believe she just said that. In a way it is true, but it just confirms that she thinks of me as some back up guy that's all hers.

Myra controls herself from lashing out at Elly physically. "Oh please, when I ride him, he shouts how much he loves me."

What happens next shocks the fuck out of me. Little goody Elly who has to climb on the counter to get food from cabinets, punches Myra straight in her nose. Blood shoots everywhere, kids jump back to avoid the spray. Elly shoves Myra on the ground and keeps hitting her and hitting her. After falling twice in blood, I reach Elly and tear her away from an unconscious Myra.

Elly fights against me, but I manage to drag her out of the cafeteria and into the hallway.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Elly?" My mind is racing and I'm losing my shit. Elly could go to jail for this. She could lose everything, her med school scholarships, she could even be expelled.

"You! You're what's wrong with me, you fucked me up!" Our opinions on whose fucked up right now are extremely different. And what does she mean by 'I fucked her up,' what did I do?

Before we can yell at each other anymore, a teacher comes to escort Elly to the office. I'm covered in blood so I go to the nurse, she gives me a whole set of new clothes, including socks and boxers. She says that all my old clothes need to be thrown away because we don't know what's in the blood. Well, at least I got some new clothes.

I tell the nurse that I feel sick from all of the blood and she lets me leave early. There's no chance I would be able to focus at all anyway; I'm too worried about Elly. I'm worried about Myra as well just not as much as Elly. I know that makes me a shitty person, but Myra will be fine, it's just a broken nose. The rest of Elly's life is on the line; this is one of the stupidest things she could have done.

I walk to town and wander a bit, everything is pretty dead. This place only comes alive when school is out and during summer. Walking doesn't seem to help my nerves so I venture into the woods behind the public playground. There's a swamp back here, that I like to go and smoke alone at. A lot of people don't really enjoy swamps because they think they are disgusting. I think that they are unique, a place that sustains life for the less "accepted" organisms, maybe that's why I feel so at home when I'm there.

I sit down on a dead willow tree, beneath an almost dead willow. I light an old cigarette that I got from Rob yesterday. It's stale and causes me to hack for thirty seconds straight. I throw the rest of the cig into the swamp water. I instantly regret it because it lands on some moss in the middle and sticks out. Oh well.

I feel less stressed now so I lay back on the log. I wish I knew what the hell Elly is going through. I wish she'd tell me what her feelings for me are. She can't just keep me on the side and beat up every girl I get with. She drives me nuts. Even thinking about her right now is making my heart pump faster. I just want to hold her.

My eyelids become heavy as Elly's face still lingers in my mind. Her sweet smile carries me off into a deep sleep.

***

"What are you doing here?" A loud voice rips me from my slumber. I fall off of the tree as I try to sit up. A giggle escapes the intruder, it's Elly. I jump up.

"What are you doing here? You didn't get arrested?" Elly smirks at me.

"Well one, this is one of my spots, where I go to get away. Two, apparently no one in the cafeteria would say anything to the cops and Myra said that she tripped and fell into a table. I still got suspended." My mouth drops, why would Myra protect Elly? Mostly likely she doesn't want the cops lurking around, she does seem pretty sketchy plus she's into a lot of drugs.

"Thank goodness, I was worried about you losing your scholarships or getting expelled." Elly sees the cigarette in the moss, she glares at me.

She ignores what I say too. "I was wondering who was responsible for littering this place with cigarettes. Every time I came here I had to clean them up, ever heard of an ashtray?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you came here too, that's pretty cool that we share this place. Anyway, what were you thinking Elly? Were you even worried about the fallout of beating the crap out of Myra? You could've been put in jail." No response.

"What were you thinking?" I cup her cheeks. "Elly?" She looks at the ground.

"I don't know, I was angry, I lost control Declan. I always lose control around you!" Elly moves away from me and grabs a rock.

She launches it at the cig in the swamp. "Did you really tell Myra that you love her?"

"Elly, no! Never, I don't love her at all. You're the only person I love, but that doesn't mean that you can use me and keep me for yourself. You have a boyfriend Elly and I need to know if you love me the way I love you. I can't sit on the sidelines anymore while you continue to confuse the hell out of me."

Elly doesn't answer me. I look up at the sky, it's getting dark and there's only one star visible. I close my eyes and wish/hope/pray that Elly loves me back. She's changed me so much in such a short time and I am so grateful. I want to continue to grow and change with her, that's the only thing I need.

I grab both of her hands. "Elly please tell me, please." Her eyes are watering as she looks up at me. Tears fall and I wipe them away.

"I don't know, yes...I just, I can't!" Elly cries and runs out of the woods, I try to follow, but she loses me quickly. I punch a tree in frustration, my knuckles bleed because of it. I don't understand what she means or what is wrong! She says yes and I don't know at the same. What the hell am I supposed to take from that?

I make my way out of the woods and make the decision to go to Rob's for the night. He's bound to have what I need to relax and forget about Elly for the night. Even if it is impossible for me to forget about her.

***

It's ten on a Friday night, Rob and I are sitting at the park enjoying a smoke. We both have some cash on hand because last night we found a bag of weed in the bushes as we were walking down the road. We came to the conclusion someone had recently thrown it out of their car before they got pulled over. It wasn't so much a guess because we saw the car pulled over. Anyway we sold that shit and made a ton of money, it feels nice to have funds of my own. We aren't worried about repercussions either because we live in a small town and there aren't really any big weed kingpins around.

While we were selling I couldn't take my mind off Elly. I was wondering what she was doing, if she was worried about missing class...if she was with Darren. School went by dreadfully slow and I wanted to tear my hair out every second. I couldn't focus at all and many of my teachers were pissed about it. After school I smoked a bowl with Rob and I felt better, then we attended to our customers.

I start scrolling through social media because I'm bored. Shit! I see a bunch of posts on Elly's profile, all saying 'happy birthday.' I tried to talk to her today, but she wouldn't answer her phone. Maybe she's with Darren or maybe she's all alone. I have to find out.

"Dude I gotta go, it's Elly's birthday." I jump up and run, not leaving time for him to respond. Rob's pretty laid back so he most likely doesn't even care.

First stop is the gas station, it's the only place open. I grab a plastic flower and some candy Elly told me she likes. I grab a jug of pink lemonade, her favorite drink and frozen pizza too. The cashier is the slowest and I curse her under my breath for it. I power walk to her house, which is a good mile and some change away from the gas station. By the time I get there I'm drenched in sweat and it doesn't bother me one bit. I'm worried that it might be too late and she's already in bed, if she's even here.

"Declan?" A stuffy voices says from the corner of Elly's very dark porch, scaring the shit out of me. I set the bags down.

My eyes adjust to the dark. "Hey Elly. What are you doing?"

"Oh, you know. Just feeling sorry for myself." Elly laughs sarcastically.

"Did you have a good day? I just found out it was your birthday, I'm sorry I didn't know sooner. How come you aren't out partying." I smile at her, hoping she'll smile too.

She doesn't. "I had an ok day, my mom took off in my car last night and I haven't seen her since. Darren made other plans and didn't want to pick me up. I did make some cupcakes and they were pretty great." Elly smiles a little and wipes her eyes. She's been crying.

I feel so angry that no one cared to make sure she had a good day. I can't believe her mom just took off and that Darren wasn't understanding. It's so unbelievable how much of a dick that guy is. Sometimes when Elly tells me stuff about him I just feel like I'm listening to a TV show.

My anger turns into determination; I am going to fix the rest of this day for her. I pick up the bags and open her front door. I gesture for her to follow. We both sit on the couch and I take out what I got for her and place it on the coffee table.

"It isn't much, I know. I did the best I could with the local gas station being my only op-." Elly grabs me and hugs me.

"Thank you so much Declan, this means the world to me. You are so amazing!" I hold her for a few minutes longer then I break the embrace.

"I'm gonna go put this in the oven for us, you find your favorite movie and put it on, okay?"

Elly grins. "Okay."

We spend the night watching movies and hopped up on candy and lemonade. Laughing and talking fills up the emptiness that Darren and her mom left her with. Elly in my arms the whole time. This feels so right and I never want it to end. I'm so glad that I was able to turn Elly's day around, she deserves this, she deserves happiness.

"Declan?" Elly looks up at me. We had moved to her room and were watching some late night cartoon.

"Yeah?" Elly sits up and looks into my eyes. I feel...exposed, but in a good way. Like she's stripping away what everyone else sees and looking at me. She seems nervous, she's shaking a little.

"I... I do. I love you Declan, I thought that I knew what love was and that I loved Darren. You came around and you stirred something in me, something I've never felt before. It terrified me and amazed me at the same time...I'm sorry if I hurt you and I'm sorry for rambling-."

I silence her with my lips, my body filling with joy and love. She actually loves me, Elly Jacobs, the girl who will always be too good for me, loves me too. Not too long ago I wouldn't have thought she even knew I existed. I thought she was interesting and pretty before I knew her, but I knew that she wouldn't even talk to the likes of me. I was wrong, I have never been so happy to be wrong in my entire life. I was wrong, she talked to me, she saw me and now, she loves me.

We fall back on her bed, her on top, still kissing me. Elly smiles against my lips and I smile too. She breaks away to look at me again. Her hair is down and it falls to the side as she gazes at me. I try to tuck some of it behind her ear, but it's so curly that it pops out causing us both to laugh. Will that laugh ever get old to me? I hope not.

"I love you, Declan." She's so crazy beautiful.

"Oh Elly, I love you too." Her eyes light up and she smiles. A smile that reels me in every time, a smile so full of worth that it makes me rich just to be in its' presence. Jeez, when did I become such a hopeless romantic? This girl is bringing out a whole new person in me.

I pull her back to me and we kiss until kissing isn't enough. We touch and kiss until even that, is not enough. We aren't in perfect sync like romantic movies and books always describe, we miss, we falter and we laugh. We make love until finally, it feels like we've had enough. I fall asleep after, blissfully unaware of anything, but this perfect moment.