Chapter 5

I wake up still in bed with Myra. My phone, the reason for my interrupted sleep is buzzing incessantly. Elly is calling. I glance at the time before answering. Four a.m., great.

"Hey Elly, what's up?" I disentangle myself from Myra and roll away so I don't wake her.

"Are you busy? I left Darren's early and was hoping you wanted to roam the town while everyone is sleeping. It's pretty cool to do." Elly sounds weird. I get out of the bed and start getting dressed. A walk sounds nice, my body feels congested and fresh air might help.

"Of course Elly. I'll text you the address of where I'm at. See you in a bit."

"See ya." Elly hangs up. I pull on my shirt and look for my shoes. I find them under the bed. After I get my shoes on, I look back at Myra. I feel kind of bad for leaving her, last night seemed like a one-time thing. I hope it was, I don't want to hurt her feelings by leaving like this.

I close the door and tiptoe through the living room. Rob is sprawled on the couch butt-naked with his mouth open, I cringe. That's just wrong, I wish I hadn't seen that. Looks like the birthday girl is gone though, maybe Rob will feel shitty about being left naked and vulnerable for everyone to see. I'm almost to the front door when it flies open. Elly walks in and sees me, then she surveys he rest of the place.

She points to Rob. "Nice, looks like a wild night." I nod.

"Can we go? This place is too stuffy."

Elly laughs. "It smells too, but that cake looks yummy!"

I grab her arm and steer her outside. "Yeah you don't want any of that." Elly laughs again, taking my word on it.

It doesn't take too long to get to town in her car, which is great because I want to be in an open space right now. It's eerily quiet when we get out, I feel like no one even lives here. Like a ghost town. We walk a while before Elly speaks again.

Elly nudges me. "So what did you do last night?" I explain the 'cannicake' ordeal and what edibles are because she had no idea. I tell her about Myra and the dancing and how everything blended together. At first I feel like omitting the sex with Myra, but suddenly I feel the need to make her feel as jealous as she makes me feel.

"Then Myra and I had sex, it was intense and everything I felt was heightened because of the drugs. It was pretty great." Elly stops walking.

"You had sex with her?" I look at her face to see if she's upset, but her face is blank. No emotion from what I can see.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was a one-night stand kind of thing though." Elly continues walking, slowly.

"Why did you leave Darren's early?"

Elly smirks. "Well Darren and I got in a fight because I wouldn't have sex with him. Kind of ironic that you were having sex while I was getting kicked out for not having sex," Elly says laughing, but not her normal laugh. She definitely seems upset now.

"He kicked you out?" What an ass. I kick a rock down the sidewalk while I wait for Elly's reply.

"Well he said that since nothing fun is happening, he was going to go hang out with his friends. Then he told me to lock the door on my way out." I get visibly angry, and I take it out on her.

"Why don't you stop dealing with his bull and leave him! It's your fault for staying with him like a fucking lapdog!"

Elly looks down at her feet. "I know," she whispers. Fuck, why am I so stupid? She's already upset and I've gone and made it worse.

I put my hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry, he just makes me so mad because he doesn't treat you right. You know he doesn't treat you right and you still stay."

Elly shoves my hand away. "Just forget it. At least one of us had a fun night," she says with a sarcastic tone.

"Are you mad about Myra?"

"No, do whatever you want Declan. You're not my boyfriend so it doesn't matter." Elly's words sting and upset me.

"Ok Elly." I decide to change the subject. "Do you have any plans for the day?"

"No, not really. You? I'm sure that Myra girl is free for round two." Elly smiles, maybe she isn't as upset about Myra as I thought.

"Funny, I'd rather hang out with you though. Sound good?" Elly nods.

We spend the rest of the day together, neither of us really have money so we just walk around. We walk to the park, the school, Elly window shops and I watch. The day passes quickly and now we're saying goodbye.

"Tomorrow?" Elly is on her porch looking back at me, so perfect.

I grin. "Tomorrow."

The days of the following week go more or less like that. If I'm at Jonah's I walk to Elly's before school so I can walk with her. We have lunch together and after school she always makes me do homework. My grades start to rise and Elly tells me how proud she is, I love it. We party after homework almost every day, it's great. Rob makes fun of me and calls me whipped, but I really don't care. I'm happy, for the first time in years I feel genuinely happy. Elly seems alright to be around Rob now, she doesn't really speak to him though.

We've had two movie nights where we just smoke and watch horror movies, afterwards we discuss would we would do if they were real. Elly tells me her dream of being a doctor and I tell her I don't have a dream yet, but that I do enjoy science. She also tells me about the dark parts of her life, things that make me so angry, things that make me see how strong she really is.

Every day I fall for her more and it drives me nuts. It doesn't help that I've also become her number one person to go to when she and Darren fight. I hate that guy so much, he's such a prick. Elly tries to hide it. She'll go to the bathroom while we are watching a movie and I will hear her crying or I'll come over and her eyes are red and puffy. I wish she would leave him.

Right now I'm walking to Elly's house to see if she is back from Darren's yet. She left on Sunday and promised she would be back today, so here I am. I would be walking with her because we have school on Monday's but she didn't show. I'm going to surprise her with a new horror movie Jonah bought and is letting me borrow, hopefully she's here. I see her car in the driveway which reminds me that Darren picked her up. I remember being extremely anxious before she left because if they got in a fight Elly wouldn't be able to leave when she wanted. Darren doesn't like to make two trips to here in one day, that's what Elly says.

Before I even get the chance to knock Elly's mom whips the door open. "Do you know what's wrong with her?" She actually looks concerned. So far I've only seen her dazed and passed out due to whatever drug or alcoholic beverage she had. Elly told me about how her mom was in a car accident and had to have double-knee replacement surgery. They told her she can't work anymore and ever since she uses the aid of other substances to get rid of her pain and depression. They only reason they have anything is her mother's weekly check of three-hundred and fifty dollars.

I stare at her, confused. "Elly? She's been up there all day." She points up the stairs. It's weird that her mother is even taking an interest, I brush past her and haul ass up the stairs. I don't even bother with knocking as I barge into her room. Elly jumps up from her desk, it's too late because I've already seen what she was doing. I grab her hand and the razor falls to the floor.

"Are you out of your mind Elly." She rips her hand away from me and looks down. I grab her arm again anyway and look for cuts. I find blood and the source on her right inner bicep. I run to the bathroom and grab toilet paper. I clean Elly's arm and find that there are a bunch of scars from previous cuts. My stomach feels sick.

"Elly, why?" She laughs.

"Are you serious Declan? Do you see my life? I can't believe you're even asking me why. I feel like I'm literally the star of my own shit show." Elly yanks her arm away from me again and sits on her bed. She's crying, in front of me, tears and everything. I feel horrible, I want to help, but I don't know how. I sit down next to her.

"He made me feel so guilty so I said yes. I let it happen...again. He kept saying I didn't love him enough. I do love him, I just wanted more time." Elly sobs into her hands. My blood is boiling because I know exactly what she's talking about. I pull her close to me and hold her tight, she shakes and shakes.

That manipulative bastard, how can he even say he loves her? How are people so...evil? The fact that a human being can even be like this, makes me so sad. I know there are people out there doing worse all of the time, I just can't understand it. How can another person harm someone, look into their eyes and see the pain that they are bringing about?

Elly clutches my shirt as she cries and I just rub her back. Tears slip out of my eyes silently and land on her neck. Feeling the dampness Elly looks up at me.

"I'm sorry, it's just so hard to see you like this. I hate to see you in pain." Elly wipes the wetness from my cheeks and giggles. She starts giggling like a mad-woman which incites laughter from me. We hold each and laugh for a good five minutes.

When we stop laughing I remember the movie. I get up and pop the DVD in while Elly watches me. I'm startled just a bit when I turn around and Elly is there. She's looking at me with a look of mischief in her eyes. I feel her hand on mine, she slowly moves it up to my face. My breath catches and my heart goes wild. Elly wraps her arms around my neck and stands on her tiptoes. We stare one another, willing one to make the next move. I decide to go for it, I'm sick of being a wimp. I gently cup her face and go in slowly. She closes her eyes and I close mine as well. Our lips meet and I'm a goner, her lips are so soft, so right on mine. I can't find the words to describe how this feels except in this moment I know I will never love anyone like I love Elly Jacobs. I hate sappy movies and romantic stories, but this is the exception. She is my exception.

The kiss intensifies, Elly's back is on the wall and I'm pinning her hands to her sides. My lips travel down her face, neck, collarbone. Elly tugs at my shirt and I tear it off. Elly pushes me away from her touch and admire my shirtless body. I've got decent abs and a couple scars, nothing to go crazy about.

"You're beautiful." Elly traces the outline of a scar making my knees go weak. Elly notices and smirks. She slowly plants tiny kisses across my chest, my self-control is amazing me right now. Elly's door flies open and we jump away from each other.

It's Tara. "Elly, where is my fucking vodka?" She looks at Elly and then me, shirtless. "I knew you were a little slut." Her mom slurs and walks out. What a fucking bitch! I look at Elly and her eyes are downcast.

"She's right. I am a slut."

I go over to her and touch her shoulder and start to tell her she's wrong, but she stops me.

"I think you should go Declan."

"Are you-"

Elly hands me my shirt. "Yes. I'm sure, goodbye."

I head downstairs and outside without seeing Tara, which is good because I might've lost my cool if I did. It's still pretty early in the day so I set off in search of a smoke-up. I really wish Elly would've let me stay, I'm crazy worried about her. I took the blade she was using earlier but who knows how many she has. It isn't like her mom is looking out for her either, the only thing she's looking for is booze and shitty boyfriends. Damnit! I kick a garbage can out of frustration.

"I don't think that garbage can deserved to be kicked," a voice says from behind. I turn around and see the voice came from Myra. Shit, I hadn't planned on seeing her again.

"I'm just going through some things." Myra slides her arm around mine. I glance at Elly's window in case she's looking because I'm still pretty close to her house. I don't want her to get the wrong idea, I think I see the blinds move, but I'm not sure. I pretend I have a scratch to get my arm away.

"I think I can help you get your mind off of it...If you want?" Myra winks while sliding her hand over a certain place. I grab her hand and move it off of me, she just giggles.

"I didn't think you were shy; you certainly weren't that night we spent together." My face goes red. "Anyway, I'm headed to my friend's place. He got ahold of some oil, wanna come?"

I really do need to relieve some stress. I just don't want to lead Myra on, I love Elly. My inner druggie wins the fight this time, I agree to go with Myra. About five blocks away we reach an apartment building, it's three stories high and looks like it needs some serious repairs. Myra's friend lives on the third floor, of course. When we get there the door is opened by some girl who looks like she's been on crack for at least two years. Her hair is dirty blonde, in dreads, but not the good kind. She says her name is Marsh and Dex is in their room.

Walking in a putrid odor fills my nose and it takes everything I have not to gag. I look at Myra and she just shrugs, as if to say 'yeah I know it smells bad, but we get a free smoke up.' I look around the apartment, there are clothes plastered to the floor and I'm afraid that something heinous is underneath them. It seems as though Myra knows her way through this forsaken apartment which is good because Marsh is nowhere in sight. She's probably behind one of the mounds of garbage.

Dex is in the room at the end of the apartment. It's a really small room, like a closet, but at least it isn't as disgusting as the rest of the house.

"Hey Dex, this is Declan." I nod at Dex, who's getting his oil pipe ready. "Is it ok if he joins us?"

"Sure got it from this guy for free, if you know what I mean." Dex and Myra laugh. I laugh nervously with them, I'm pretty sure Dex means that he just robbed someone. Dex is a big guy so I decide to keep my morals to myself. Also, I think I see some Aryan tattoos hiding behind his medium length, black hair. Jeez, where the fuck am I?

The pipe gets handed to me and I take the biggest hit I can, hoping to push some of this stress and anxiety away. Instantly I calm down, I start to get sleepy as well. I yawn and Dex laughs.

"Now do a line. The oil from the weed makes you tired, but the coke makes you hyper. A wicked crazy combo." Dex holds out a glass plate, I hesitate because I've never done coke before, but I'm too scared of upsetting Dex to say no. I do the line and instantly my nose feels numb. It feels so weird, then my throat does the same.

Myra pulls me out of the room and into another. It is surprisingly clean and the odor from outside is gone, thank god. There's a lamp on a wobbly stand and a mattress with a blanket draped across it in the corner. There's scattered magazines and a pile of clothes in the corner too. The room seems like it is dancing with energy.

"I stay here sometimes. Welcome to my room!" Myra giggles and tries to pull my shirt off. My mind is telling me to say yes and to say no at the same time. This is wrong and I don't have feelings for her.

"Are you sure they'd be okay with this?" I pull my shirt down and away from her. Myra pouts and retaliates with taking off her shorts, which reveal white lace panties.

"They don't care what I do, besides when Dex does coke he's all over Marsh in the living room. I wouldn't want to leave this room for at least forty-five minutes." That is disgusting. Myra grabs me from outside of my jeans and I instantly react, I can't help it, she's attractive and the last time we were together was great. Still, I try to prevent it. I want this with Elly, I have so much energy I'd even walk back there and do this with her if I could.

Myra slips her hand inside of both my pants and boxers. Damn does it feel good, though I wish she would stop.

"I don't have any condoms, we need protection." Myra laughs at my lame attempt to slow her down. She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a condom.

"I'm always prepared Declan." I'm out of excuses and plus my body really wants this. Elly has someone anyway; she shouldn't be concerned with who I fuck. I know now that she has feelings for me, but it isn't fair to just keep me to herself when all I get from her is sadness because she's treated bad by that dirt bag Darren. Why can't she just let me love her?

Myra pulls me out of my depressing thought by taking her shirt off. A very compelling view, she grabs my hands and puts them on her. I let her guide them all over her body, she's in control, she's been in control this whole time and she knows it. Resistance is futile.