On the third day of her second test, Kara could hardly stand.

Every year the Tower Guard held a practice drill to stay prepared in case of a national emergency. In this scenario a draconic warlord had taken a diplomat hostage. Kara had spent the last three days in the castle monitoring chatter, decoding dozens of multilingual messages, and interpreting meetings between Lord Staufen and the enemy to secure the ambassador's release.

Neither Beanstalk nor Kara had gone home during that time. By all accounts, Lord Staufen didn't sleep and neither did her mentor. Instead, the Tower guard had vowed to stand watch while Kara had slept fitfully in her office no more than two hours every day.

It had exhausted her.

At the seventh bell, Beanstalk gave her a gentle shake while he knelt beside her sofa, his voice the kindest whisper. "Katharina, it's time..."

"I beg you...ten more minutes," she groaned, all her muscles aching.

"This ordeal is almost over." Beanstalk had changed over the past two days of working together, his voice almost tender. "Hold out for one more hour, and you can rest."

"I can't." Kara's head pounded and flashes of light clouded her vision. "Please..."

"You and I must show King Agnar that Lord Staufen can serve him with resilience," said the Tower guard, harsher this time. "I know you have the strength. Now get up."

"Please..."

"Now!"

"Ugh!"

Kara sat up, flung aside the blanket that he must have wrapped around her earlier that night, and cupped her aching skull. Beanstalk stayed by her side. She cast a glance at him while he was still kneeling no more than a cubit away from her.

"How can you do it so easily?" Kara's eyes met his. "You haven't slept at all."

Beanstalk averted his gaze. "Someone must keep watch over you."

"You could have had one of the lesser guards protect me."

"I-" He paused. "They are busy with other matters."

"Oh."

Charged silence fell over them. Not the same kind as during the test. Kara sensed a kind of warmth radiating between them like curling up under a cozy blanket.

That's crazy! You're exhausted. Not thinking clearly.

Beanstalk is the coldest fish in the Arla River. You've both gone through an ordeal together, and it's playing with your mind. Get over it!

Almost as soon as it appeared, the feeling vanished. Her heart felt as though someone had dumped it into a bucket of ice.

"We will not fail this drill because my linguist could not get herself out of bed." The Tower guard rose to his full height, his voice cold once more. "You have exactly five minutes to freshen up and prepare for the final exchange of prisoners."

Kara clenched her teeth and rose to face him. "Perhaps if you had allowed me to go home to bathe and sleep, I wouldn't look and feel so lousy."

"Why do they call it a crisis?" he demanded. "When a real one falls upon us, do you think you can frolic with your friends or take a hot bath or enjoy a home-cooked meal?"

"But this isn't real!" insisted Kara. "Can't everyone relax a little?"

"Relax?" Beanstalk scoffed. "Do you know what will happen if the independent assessors tell the King that Lord Staufen and I are unfit to command?"

Kara swallowed a lump in her throat.

"Not to mention what will happen to your appointment for the Guild?"

"Sorry, Sir." Kara sighed. "I'm so very tired, and my head-"

"You should feel honored that we included you," he continued. "Only the best and brightest may serve on my team, especially the woman fighting by my side."

Although Beanstalk had probably meant nothing by it, Kara couldn't help how her heart had reacted to his words. Particularly the last few. He said them with such fervor and conviction that Kara's heart swelled with pride.

He sees me as a valuable member of the team.

"Thank you, Sir." Kara gave him a weak smile, the most she could muster. "I am grateful. Truly. I'd just give my right arm to drink an elixir right now."

"Can I rely on you, Katharina?" he asked, adopting his softer tone once more.

"Yes, Sir." She paused. "Forgive me, Sir."

"Good, because if you thought the past three days have caused you hardship, it will be nothing compared with the trial we will both face tomorrow."

The wizard's hands turned clammy. "What happens tomorrow?"

"I am not permitted to say."

"Will you be there, Sir?"

He stared back at her, his silver mask obscuring all signs of emotion. "I will never leave your side."

Kara exhaled a ragged breath. "Thank you, Sir."

He gave a curt nod and left her to freshen up in peace. Staring in the mirror, Kara gawked at the deep, dark circles under her eyes and her pale cheeks. Even several splashes of cold water would not bring back the rosiness. After wrapping a braid around her head, she joined the Tower guard in his adjacent office.

"Here, Katharina." He held out two elixirs for her, as her mother would have done. "This may help with the headache and make you more alert."

"Thank the Light, you're my savior!"

The wizard reached for them and guzzled both tonics at once, closing her eyes with a sigh of relief. A gentle warmth spread in her stomach and her brain fog began to clear.

"Promise me one thing," said the Tower guard.

"What is it?"

"No matter what Lord Staufen tells you to do, promise me to obey his commands."

Kara nodded.

"No, this is important!" Beanstalk grasped her by the shoulders, startling her. "You must listen, Katharina. Tomorrow he will ask you to carry out swift justice without mercy, and you must obey him. At any price. Do you understand?"

Her voice turned into a croak. "Swift...justice?"

That meant only one thing. Lord Staufen would ask her to execute someone, and she would have no choice but to obey.

The wizard's throat went totally dry. When she swallowed, it felt like knives sliced her throat all the way down. "No, he can't ask me to do that. I won't."

"Lord Staufen is your master," insisted Beanstalk. "If you refuse to follow orders, you will be dismissed from service. You will languish with Professor Weisen."

"What's so bad about that?"

"Katharina, please!" To her utter shock, Beanstalk sounded almost desperate. "I-The Guild needs you, do you understand?"

Her lips parted.

"We need to win this war." He squeezed her shoulders. "I could have called a dwarf or an elf, who are less susceptible to the Shadow, but you have talent. Ambition. Heart."

"Sir, I will do anything Lord Staufen asks of me, but not murder."

"Kara, whoever he is..." Beanstalk sighed. "The man deserves it. A thousand times over for the crimes he has committed."

"You don't understand," she whispered. "I can't kill."

"You can."

"No, I've sworn an oath."

He balked. "A blood oath?"

"No, but-"

"Good." His shoulders dropped. "It can be changed."

"Irrelevant."

"Why?"

"Because..." Kara bit her bottom lip. "Because I can't kill any more people."

Beanstalk drew back a fraction. "Excuse me?"

Kara waved a dismissive hand. "I can't talk about it."

"You must," insisted Beanstalk. "This is not a request. You have to perform your duty tomorrow, or all your hard work will have been for nothing."

"You don't understand." Kara sighed. "The last time that someone died and it was my fault, it almost ruined me."

Beanstalk gestured for the wizard to sit in his own giant oak throne even though the chaise nearly swallowed her. Kara drew up her knees to her chest and clutched them while her mentor knelt beside her.

"Talk to me," he said in his calm tone. "Tell me what happened."

"When I was very young," she whispered, "I cared for one of my mother's patients. At that time, I wanted to become a master healer and continue her practice."

Beanstalk nodded slowly.

"He was very injured, but he came around, you know?" A traitorous tear formed in the corner of her eye, but Kara caught it before it could fall. "Curse it! I'm sorry I'm so weak."

"It is all right," he whispered softly. "Let them fall. I will tell no one."

"So, anyway..." Kara drew a ragged breath. "We became close. And...I started to spend more time with him. Even when I didn't need to...because..."

Her words drifted, unspoken, while the silence pressed upon them.

"When I would read to him, he couldn't speak because of the injuries." She cleared her throat. "But a faint purr would come from his chest, and it was like a thousand words."

"He was a dragon?" asked Beanstalk.

"Yes, but it's not what you think!" Kara rushed to explain herself. "He was converted, like you. Healing from his horrible wounds. He was pure...he was of the Light. And I-"

Beanstalk closed his eyes. For one horrible moment Kara thought he would hate her for falling for his kind. But his other arm swept across her shoulders in a friendly way that made her feel safe to continue.

Kara leaned against him. "Is that all right?"

"Yes," he breathed. "Go on."

"One day I rose early to surprise him." A traitorous sob broke through. "They said he would be able to eat soon, so I made special bread rolls for him, ones that would be easy to chew and digest. I put them in a basket...and..."

Beanstalk remained silent.

"Mama told me I should go back to bed because..."

Her chest shook silently.

"...because he'd died," she said at last. "The man under my care...the one I'd promised to care for and protect...he died, and it's all my fault."

Kara held her head in her hands as she let the sobs overtake her.

"No...Kara!" said the Tower guard. "Kara, listen to me. That's not true."

"It is true! It's my fault, no matter what anyone says," she insisted through clenched teeth. "And I vowed never to study healing because it hurts too much when you lose someone. I couldn't sleep for weeks. And the nightmares!" She shuddered. "Even now I get these horrible visions where my sweet dragon torments me. Tells me I killed him."

"You did not kill him," insisted Beanstalk. "You must listen. He's-"

"It doesn't matter what you think," said Kara with sudden fierceness. "It matters how I feel."

The silence screamed to be broken.

"It would not always have been so painful." The Tower guard met Kara's gaze. "You're a strong woman. Think of all the other patients you could have healed with your talent."

"But that's just the thing." Kara wiped away her tears. "I'm weak. I shouldn't have fallen for him at all. It's a love so forbidden, it's unthinkable. A human falling for a dragon."

"Is that such a terrible thought?" whispered the Tower guard.

"It is when he's also your patient."

"He would have left your care," he said. "and you could have lived an honorable life with him...if he'd converted to the Light."

Kara shook her head. "It doesn't matter. He's gone." She exhaled a deep breath. "The point is that if I can't even deal with his death, there's no way I can kill someone."

Beanstalk didn't reply.

"If being a member of the Guild means I have to kill a criminal to prove my loyalty," said Kara, "I cannot do it. It would break me. I couldn't live with myself."

A heavy silence fell between them, so potent that it squeezed Kara by the throat.

"What if it were a right of vengeance?" he asked.

Kara balked. "You mean if the dragons attack us? Well, yes, that's different."

"No." The Tower guard rose to his full height. "I mean what if you found the man who killed your father? What if I told you that he's here...in this castle? Would you kill him?"

"That's war." Kara shook her head. "There's no right of vengeance in wartime. Men fall all the time. It's normal. My father gave his life for our country as he would have wanted."

"You would not take revenge?" asked Beanstalk in an incredulous tone. "Even if he knelt before you and begged you to end his torment and his guilt?"

"Has he converted to the Light?"

"Yes..."

"Then his soul has been wiped clean of his crimes, and I have no right to kill him."

"I wish my heart were as pure as yours." Beanstalk shook his head. "When I found the dragon who had burned my family alive, I murdered him in cold blood."

Kara's heart shriveled as she walked toward the Tower guard. "I can't even begin to imagine all the horrible things warriors experience on the battlefield."

Beanstalk didn't make a single sound.

___

Word count: 2,048
Total word count: 18,684/20,000