Recent search results:
- how to take care of someone you really like
- fun date ideas
- when you like someone
- how to stop feeling unsure
- how do you know if you like someone more than you'd thought?

Today was one of the few, rare moments where Wooyoung chose to spend some time at home on the weekend -- and it was mostly because his parents weren't home, as well as the fact that he was feeling a bit...overwhelmed.

But it wasn't in the negative sense, not really. After Yunho had gone out to meet with Mingi earlier (his excitement was so obvious Wooyoung didn't even need to ask him where he was going), the dark haired male had begun to overthink, making his way to his house in order to sort his head out.

The place was empty, the air light and rather easy to digest, and Wooyoung was okay with that. His family wasn't around to stifle up the area and drench the atmosphere with their poisonous, toxic scents, so it was all good.

He was sat on his bed in his large and unnecessarily spacious waste of a room, swallowed by thick, fluffy blankets with a laptop perched on his crossed lap, his tongue slightly sticking out in concentration. And that was the strange part; he rarely ever paid much attention to stuff nor was he interested enough in something to keep himself highly focused, yet here he was, running to the Internet -- of all places -- in order to seek some advice, all because of one singular being.

A boy who held so much sorrow in his eyes, yet made Wooyoung smile. A boy whose thoughts and actions reflected off such pain and anguish yet still went out of his way to soothe Wooyoung's internal wounds.

Choi San was the complete opposite of Wooyoung, but throughout the time they'd spent together, they'd discovered that they needed each other in more ways than one. They were each other's juxtaposition, hurting and healing each other simultaneously, but it was a tedious cycle that Wooyoung just couldn't get enough of, no matter how much he tried to pretend it didn't affect him.

And Wooyoung was well aware of his shortcomings, of the several ways and of the several things he'd done that would've undoubtedly broken San's heart. And while the concept of guilt was usually something far too diverse to comprehend or try to understand, Wooyoung's entire mind became overflowed with it.

San had told him he'd forgiven him, but Wooyoung had a feeling that the older boy still thought about his bruising, thoughtless words from time to time. And it made things far worse, because Wooyoung knew of San's already plummeted self-confidence.

He knew San didn't love himself.

Wooyoung didn't know how he knew, because ever since he was a kid it'd been hard to relate to others and empathize with them because of the condition he had, but whenever he looked into San's eyes -- he just seemed to figure out everything, and it was both an exhilarating and dreadful feeling.

So, Wooyoung continued cruising through websites, determined to make San to see himself as how he saw him -- a beautiful boy with a kind heart.

As he opened up a new tab, his fisted his palms and then stretched them, fatigue starting to outweigh his thirst of curiosity. By now, he had an idea of how he wanted to spend the day tomorrow with San, but his fingers still itched for him to type something he couldn't quite decipher.

But then he started typing and pressed 'go' before he could think twice or change his mind.

- when someone bleeds profusely and then passes out, causing them to die

Wooyoung stared at the results with a blank expression, but internally he was cursing and shouting at himself. What the hell are you doing?

San had already clearly informed him that what he had was not normal, so a simple Google search wouldn't have done anything. Plus, searching about that stuff kind of felt like an invasion of San's privacy, strangely.

In another situation and with another person, Wooyoung wouldn't give two shits about how the person felt, no matter how much of an asshole that made him seem.

But San... San was different. And Wooyoung wanted to respect his wishes.

But don't you want to help him? A small voice in Wooyoung's head edged him on. You want to help San, right? You like him a lot, so that's only the normal thing to do.

Wooyoung chewed on his lip. He remembered those few, yet lovely moments where San really smiled and looked happy -- of course he remembered them. He'd already engraved those moments into his mind because they were sacred memories that he treasured deeply, and ones he'd continue to treasure for however long he could.

Because San had now carved out a special space for himself in Wooyoung's heart -- or maybe he already had the second the younger had walked up to him that fateful day and asked if his name was Choi San. Wooyoung still remembered the precise look on San's face, that deep look of misery he always seemed to carry around, as well as this innocence and naivety that had charmed Wooyoung more than he'd like to admit.

Before that moment at lunch, they'd never talked or even interacted before. But Wooyoung had seen him around school, barely eating at lunch. At first, Wooyoung kept wondering how someone could be so set on being alone and by themselves, but then he became curious about the older, striving for a inconspicuous, reasonable way to strike up a conversation with him. Yunho had simply been the catalyst, and now Wooyoung's and San's lives were now entwined in the best of ways.

Wooyoung could only hope he wouldn't fuck things up again.

He sighed, running his finger over his laptop's keyboard, contemplating if he should keep searching. Don't do it, Wooyoung. San wouldn't like it.

Wooyoung decided to listen, even when it was extremely hard to keep his curiosity at bay.

But, as he was about to close down the tab and continue to plan the events he wanted to take place tomorrow, a link to a site caught his eye at the far bottom part of the screen.

convergence of the body, mind and soul
- the crucial bond bleeding has with life and death

Honestly, the website looked like one of those astrology-themed/fantastical ones that Wooyoung tended to actively avoid, mostly because he rarely believed in things that he couldn't see with his own eyes, but something in that site called out to him, and before he knew what he was doing, he clicked on the link, the page loading up within seconds.

It looked rather plain, and it had the dullest purple theme Wooyoung had ever laid his eyes upon. Despite its lack of creativity, it had heaps and heaps of links and topics, all pertaining to bleeding, living and dying. Safe to say, it was a bit much for Wooyoung, who just wanted a quick answer and get things over with, but then he remembered San.

I'm doing this for him. Maybe this bleeding fiasco has a solution after all, Wooyoung thought to himself. He felt like he was doing a good thing. He was only trying to help out, after all.

So Wooyoung started to scroll...and scroll...and scroll. And fuck, it was beginning to get tiring. There were a bunch of subjects that seemed interesting enough, only for the dark haired teen to click on them and become faced with frighteningly boring information.

Wooyoung fought a yawn, and then continued to casually scroll once more, his eyes flitting past paragraph after paragraph.

- signs the bond between your body and your soul is unbalanced and has been tampered with

Wooyoung stopped scrolling and glared at these words. "You better not be a fucking waste of time like the others," he grumbled, before clicking down on it, not expecting much from this search.

And yes, he definitely shouldn't have expected much. The new page was filled with useless, tasteless information yet again.

Wooyoung frustratedly scrolled down, a nanosecond away from just closing all the tabs and shutting his laptop down, but then his eyes fell on the bunch of sentences gathered at the lower end of the page in a list of sorts.

He read through them, and with each word, his pulse elevated. A queasily alarming and heavy feeling settled at the base of his stomach, because he may have just found what he'd been looking for all this while.

- uncontrolled blood loss
- mental pain and nightmares
- frequent blackouts, especially when blood loss is the cause
- in rare and extreme cases, the person's soul might shut down after a blackout, giving the appearance of death
- in an even rarer case, the soul fully renews itself after a black out, but this is highly unlikely. click here to learn more.

Of course, Wooyoung hurriedly clicked the link (just how many links did this one site have), and another new page opened. But luckily, the first paragraph was straight-to-the-point and precise, so Wooyoung wouldn't have to scroll yet again.

"...in extremely rare cases like these..." Wooyoung whispered as he read through the page, "...blood loss causes soul renewal...empty body searches for a new soul from any other supplier...death for the supplier involved..." the boy gradually slowed down, his breathing becoming more laboured. "Very... very dangerous and can occur anywhere due to the 'give and take' rule of nature..."

there is no immediate cure ... the cycle of life has to repeat itself...

At that point, Wooyoung didn't feel like reading anymore. His heart was racing with fear and apprehension -- those same emotions he'd experienced after San had exposed what had really been going on with him that Tuesday afternoon.

But unlike that time, he wasn't scared because of what that may have implied for him, but rather he was scared for San's safety. This dodgy website had just basically sentenced San to a lifetime of suffering, and it didn't sit right with Wooyoung no matter how much he thought about it.

Look for the site owner, his mind's voice pressed, which Wooyoung strongly agreed with. If the person -- or people -- had this much information on San's case just lying around in the open, then surely they must've thought up a solution by now, right? They had to have had the answers -- they needed to. Because all Wooyoung wanted was for San to never get hurt again.

He began looking around, the urge to find out about the maker of that site stronger than ever.

His phone began to ring.

Distracted, Wooyoung grabbed it, his heart almost popping straight out of his chest when he saw the contact name.

boy i'd like to love💓 wants to video call you!
accept|decline

San wanted to video call him for the first time ever, and instantly that annoying stab of guilt pricked him, even when he knew he wasn't doing something inherently bad or despicable.

Even with that, Wooyoung pushed his laptop to one side so San wouldn't see anything, before seating more upright so he wouldn't slouch. And then he ran his hand through his hair, making sure that there were no stray strands present.

After Wooyoung deemed himself presentable enough, he quickly pressed 'accept'.

"Hiii," he said with a big smile that he hoped wouldn't reveal anything suspish.

San looked like he was someplace outside the house, the mild background noise and how bright his surroundings were testifying to that.

The older boy simply looked gorgeous, all sultry, fox-like eyes and an immaculately chiselled bone structure. He had on a black beanie, which exposed his frequently hidden and rather strong brows and forehead, and his eyes kept alternating between watching Wooyoung and staring elsewhere as if he couldn't stand to look at himself for long.

Wooyoung didn't like that.

"Hey," Wooyoung started, "you look really good right now."

"Really?" San covered the lower part of his face with his bandaged fist, but it was clear he was smiling. "Thank you."

"I'll accept it only if you stop trying to cover your smile," Wooyoung replied, while the older male playfully rolled his eyes. "So stop hiding it."

"I'm not hiding it," San answered with a little pout, finally dropping his fist.

"I like your smile, it's pretty," Wooyoung told him, and he truly meant it. "And -- gasp -- you have some sexy dimples as well, so it's a very good combo!"

San quickly looked around like he didn't want anyone overhearing what Wooyoung just said. "God, Woo, you suck."

"I know you like it when I compliment you, prettyboy."

Of course, San wouldn't have been able to argue with that. His soft blush said it all.

"Hey, where are you right now?" Wooyoung eventually asked to keep the conversation going. He could see San gradually get more and more uncomfortable with the camera, and the fact that he'd still chosen to show his face most likely to surprise him and brighten his mood really touched Wooyoung.

"I'm in the store Seonghwa hyung works part time in," San replied, slightly adjusting his beanie, "and I help him out from time to time. It's nice to be somewhere else apart from home or school for a change."

Wooyoung grinned, happy to hear that, and since San kept staring at him through the screen with sparkling eyes, he himself started grinning subconsciously too. It made the younger want to coo at him, because San was so cute he didn't seem real half the time, but he was. He was right there, watching Wooyoung like he hung the stars in the night sky. It only made Wooyoung feel a lot more unworthy to be on the receiving end of it.

"You keep staring at me," Wooyoung teased, noticing what appeared to be a small, metal table in front of the older boy. "And...I dunno, something tells me you kinda fancy me."

San chuckled, before lowering and adjusting his phone at an angle that now made his upper body and arms visible. He had on a black shirt that was a little tighter than his usual clothing, and the sleeves were pushed up to his elbows, exposing his forearms.

It was when Wooyoung fully realized just how small San's waist was.

San then paused, playing with the pen in his hand. "Woo?"

Wooyoung loudly cleared his throat, trying to rid his mind of any unsuitable thoughts. "What're you doing right now?"

"I'm planning on staying with Seonghwa for a while today, so I brought some things along to occupy myself with." San looked happy as he spoke, acutely oblivious to how much of a mess Wooyoung's mind was.

"But," the older boy continued, "don't make fun of me for it."

Wooyoung blinked, settling back into reality. "Make fun of -- oh my god, you're seriously pulling out a bunch of text books from your bag. Are you okay?"

San flicked his pen around, an adorable giggle escaping his lips. "I'm perfectly fine, thank you very much." He turned the page of the closest textbook to him open, which just so happened to be math. "I'm going to complete some exercises as well as the homework given to us. Hopefully they wouldn't be too tasking."

"Wow," Wooyoung sarcastically praised, disbelief dripping off his tone. "You get free time and you decide to do homework."

San smiled, looking particularly attractive and highly distracting where he sat. "Yeah, duh. I care about school, you know?"

"We're hanging out tomorrow to have some real fun, no take-backs."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. Really," Wooyoung nodded, glancing at his laptop for a second. But a second was all he needed.

- about this site

"Woo?" San asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Hmm?" Wooyoung had already pressed on the link, which brought him to a page that showed a bunch of facts and information about the website makers.

"Are you doing school work too?" San questioned with a soft grin, and the fact that he wasn't even being sarcastic about it made Wooyoung want to coo at him even further.

Christ, San was the literal definition of babie.

"Nah, but I am online on my laptop," Wooyoung replied, his eyes surveying information after information.

Underneath the site creator bar was a name which quickly caught Wooyoung's eye:

choi daehwan.

Choi Daehwan? Wooyoung thought. He had the same surname as San, so maybe that was why his name grabbed his attention first. Nevertheless, there was something about this man's name that unsettled Wooyoung, yet piqued his curiosity.

"...Are you okay?" San's worried voice entered the younger's head, causing him to finally look up. "You look like you've just seen something terrifying."

"San," Wooyoung breathed as his and San's gazes met, "do you...have anyone related to you by the name of Choi Daehwan?"

* * *

a/n: thoughts?