San didn't tell Wooyoung everything. Only that sometimes he bled out and sometimes it made him black out. He'd tried to keep his explanation as vague as he possibly could, even when he knew that Wooyoung would probably question things later. He kept the fact that bleeding out, especially in large amounts, meant that he'd 'died', and that his death meant the death of others. He didn't want Wooyoung thinking of him as some monster.

But as he laid on his bed late that night, sleeplessness gnawing over his skin under the guise of insomnia, San started to wonder if telling Wooyoung about this problem was indeed the right thing to do.

- wooyoung
san, stop ignoring me
i know ur up
ur reading my texts

- san
i'm asleep zZz

- wooyoung
well have a nice night

- san
thank you

- wooyoung
bish u thought

- wooyoung
i have sum questions

- san
its 2am
i have school tmr
u have school tmr

- wooyoung
i dont give a shit about school

- san
ok edgelord

- wooyoung
ooh ur so bold in text
but then i see u irl and
you're like 'dont hurt me plith'

- san
i'm not like that

- wooyoung
iM nOt liKe tHaT

- san
why are you so mean to me

- wooyoung is typing...

- wooyoung is typing...

- wooyoung is typing...

San stared at his phone in confusion, and he wondered if he'd done something wrong. Being around Wooyoung oftentimes felt like walking on eggshells, he didn't know if the next move he made would be his last.

- san
what's wrong?

- wooyoung
do you bleed from everywhere, or do you bleed from just your nose

- san
why the sudden subject change

- wooyoung
i got fucking bored

- san
mean

- wooyoung
also my mom called a few hours ago.

- san
really?

- wooyoung
she called solely just to grate it into my skull that if i was just a more 'proper' son, then maybe my dad wouldn't hate me so much. didn't even ask how i was or anything, considering the fact that i haven't been home for like, three days

- wooyoung
and after that, i smoked, a lot, but then i stopped because even that got really exhausting. also nina got annoyed with all the cigarette smoke in the house

- wooyoung
and now i can't sleep
and i'm bored
and still so, so exhausted

- wooyoung
and i just want to talk to someone who will make me feel like i'm useful

- wooyoung
'cause i don't know if i am

- san
u are

- san
you're useful

- wooyoung
how

San chewed hard on his lip. Wooyoung's messages had managed to mess with his mind in the worst way possible, mostly because he unfortunately had frequent thoughts like those as well. He himself, often wondered what his usefulness was when all he did on this planet was hurt others and himself.

- san
listen, no one is perfect
and you cant please everyone
and not everyone can like you
and sometimes people don't get what they deserve since life's unfair

- san
but, i think you're as close to perfect as one can get
and you distract me from the bad
and i like spending time with you
and i think you deserve everything good in the world

- san
and, even though sometimes you can be mean to me, and u cuss an awful lot
i still like it when you're around
because you help me,
and i know you care

- san
and, i care about you too
and even if your family doesn't
you have people around u who do

- san
and i hope that's enough
but if it isn't
you now know that there's at least a person in the world who u can talk to

- san
and even if that one person is me
i'll be happy that i'm lucky enough to be the one you confide in

As soon as San sent those texts, he felt like deleting them. You idiot, why'd you send him those? How desperate are you?

He bit his thumbnail, nerves ablaze with worry.

- wooyoung is typing...

- wooyoung
i don't know what to say
like really
i'm speechless

- wooyoung
thank you, san

- wooyoung
my heart rn:
💙💜❤️💘💝💖💞💗💕❣️💟💛🧡❤️❤️💕💘💝💗
my head rn:
🤯🤯🥰😊🥺🥺🌝😇🙃😙😃😌
my face rn:
🙈👀🙈

San burst into a quiet chuckle.

- san
thats oddly specific

- wooyoung
tell me san, do u like me??

All San could hear at that moment was the hard thump thump of his heart.

- san
nooooo
also the blood thing
do u still wanna know

- wooyoung
hmmm
but okkkk

- san
i mean, i do like u
but like, in a friend way

- wooyoung
okkkkkkk

- san
stop teasing me

- wooyoung
if you dont like me then,,
then are u interested in other guys

- san
so about the blood thing

- wooyoung
are u gay

- san
wooyounngg

- wooyoung
saaannnn
do you have a crush on someone

- san
sometimes the blood flow gets so much that i don't wake up for hours, and its really messy and really gross, nothing like what you saw earlier

- wooyoung
san, is that normal?

- san
no, its not
and its a part of me that i so desperately hate

- wooyoung
come on, you can't hate yourself

- san
why

- wooyoung
u cant hate urself when there are worse people to hate, like criminals

- wooyoung
as long as you dont intentionally hurt others and aren't a piece of shit person, you shouldn't hate yourself

- san
what if i hurt others just by breathing?

- wooyoung
k
guess its my turn now to shower u in compliments and make you feel wanted

- san
its nearly 3 am

- wooyoung
just accept this, mostly because i suck at giving compliments irl, so treasure this opportunity

- san
u rlly dont need to

- wooyoung
shhh

- wooyoung
okay
where do i begin

- wooyoung
you're like, super shy
and usually i hate those kind of people since that trait really irritates me
but you're tolerable

- wooyoung
and you're nice to me, really nice
even when i'm mean to you
and even when i act like a huge asshole at times

- wooyoung
ur freckles are cute

- wooyoung
really cute

- wooyoung
n you pout a lot
like a baby
n u blush a lot too
its cute

- wooyoung
and i like your nose,
and i'd like to boop it sometime

- wooyoung
and ur dimples are firee

- san
wooyoung...

- wooyoung
your eyes remind me of a fox
and i happen to like foxes

- wooyoung
and if its because of that bleeding thing that you hate yourself, then at least you have someone like me around now to help

- san
i feel like crying

- wooyoung
don't cry, prettyboy

- san
prettyboy?

- wooyoung
what?

- wooyoung
you're pretty

- wooyoung
and i'm sure whoever you end up dating will be lucky to have you

- wooyoung
okay
nice wooyoung: off
jerk wooyoung: on

- wooyoung
how was that, asshole

If San got a penny everytime he'd smiled and blushed reading Wooyoung's texts, he would've been a millionaire by now. If what he felt was anything to go by, then he was pretty sure that Wooyoung made him feel things, things that weren't so platonic. And he didn't like it, because that would just complicate things.

- san
it was...nice
i liked it

- wooyoung
i'm glad you did, prettyboy

Prettyboy, prettyboy, prettyboy. The more San thought of the word, the hotter his ears felt. It was just some word, so why did it affect him so much? And why didn't he mind it?

You're pretty. San remembered the other's compliment. Was he really? Or was Wooyoung just saying that because he felt he had to?

- san
wow
from 'asshole' to 'prettyboy'?
what a glowup

- wooyoung
what a glowup indeed lmaooo
but i mean it tho

- san
what?

- wooyoung
you being pretty

- san
shut up

- wooyoung
prettyboy
ur the prettiest prettyboy
the cutest prettyboy
the babiest prettyboy

- san
good night

- wooyoung
night, san :)

San threw his phone to the side, sighing happily. Wooyoung, as always, confused him to no end, but maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

* * *

a/n: i love them sm. thoughts?