San kept to himself for most of the next day, not bothering to get distracted by anything else other than learning and writing down what he could. He could feel Wooyoung's eyes on him though (since the guy seemed to attend most of his classes a lot more now), but he pretended as if he'd never noticed them. He was doing this purposefully, because if he didn't, he'd be wallowing deeper and deeper into his guilt.

His morning had been horrendous. He'd woken up late due to his alarm not ringing on time, and Seonghwa was already out by the time he grabbed a piece of fruit in the fridge, meaning he now couldn't apologize to him face to face for the time being. Seonghwa's little note on the table saying 'Take some fruit from the fridge. Be healthy! :)' only served to worsen San's guilt.

And Wooyoung...just the thought of him made San practically drown in guilt. He didn't know what else to do than to not look at him, too much of a coward to find out what the guy thought of him now.

He sighed in his seat as the bell rang for the next class. He just couldn't wait for this day to be over; for everything to be over.

* * *

At lunch, San found himself inside the school gardens, seated at a stray bench. The weather was kind of nice around here; the sky was a clear blue, and the chill in the atmosphere wasn't cold enough to make him wish he'd brought a sweater along. A few students were around, but they didn't bother or interrupt San's thoughts.

San closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath. Everything lately seemed too stressful to bear, but he'd tried so hard to not let it bother him. He just wanted a break, wanted to calm down. Maybe if he'd been born normal, his life would've turned out to be a lot less challenging. Maybe he'd have a good life, a nice family, and some great friends. Maybe he wouldn't endanger everyone he got close with. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

It seemed like his life was just a series of maybe's.

"Hey, don't fucking trip me, idiot!"

San's eyes opened, and he swore his heart almost jumped in his chest when he spotted Yunho walking past the garden with what appeared to be ice cream in his hand, his friends/minions trailing after him. The tall male had a smug look on his face as Wooyoung pushed him off.

San's gaze darted, trying to seem much more invisible than he already was. He didn't want Wooyoung seeing him.

"Fuck, you're hanging out with that loser again?" Yunho asked, his deep voice instantly recognizable. He didn't sound happy.

"It's for homework problems, asshole," Wooyoung replied with a smile, uncaring about how loud he could get at times. San, on the other hand, contemplated just running off.

He nearly fell off the bench when someone new collapsed into it. San knew who it was immediately, as the other male smelled of this specific cologne, as well as cigarette smoke, just like always.

"Choi."

San made it a point not to face him. "Hey."

"I know, I acted like a major dick earlier for ignoring you, but the payback wasn't really necessary. I do applaud you though, it really got me."

San turned to him then, his eyes fixed on his fingers. "I didn't... I didn't mean it."

"Didn't mean what?"

"What I told you yesterday," San cleared his throat, finally looking at Wooyoung. But, he soon wished he hadn't.

Surrounded by the nearly perfect weather, Wooyoung looked nothing less than ethereal where he lay. His dark hair fell over his forehead, which was different from how he usually styled it, and his lips were the same shade as the pastel flowers that decorated the garden, gently tousled in the wind.

"What you told me yesterday?" Wooyoung questioned, teasing San further about it. He crossed his arms, and San's eyes couldn't help but linger on his chest. The boy's school shirt had been fully unbuttoned, revealing a black v-neck underneath that flashed an expanse of tanned skin and soft dips of collarbone. The tiny metal skull dangling from his chain blankly stared at San.

"When I..." San breathed, his mouth suddenly dry. He decided to focus on the sky instead. At least that didn't elevate his heartbeat. "When I replied to your text." He sunk his feet into the vibrant green grass. "Are you mad at me?"

Wooyoung blew out a puff of air, before pulling out something beside him that San hadn't noticed. A small cup of ice cream with a little spoon and everything.

"Of course I'm mad," he opened San's palm and placed the cup and spoon into his hand. "I mean, you rejected my offer for friendship, and you've got some guts too, rejecting your master."

"That again," San retorted without thinking.

"Yes, that again," Wooyoung mirrored. He smirked. "But, I soon realized that I couldn't get mad at you for long, even when you ruined my night."

"'M sorry," San mumbled.

Wooyoung leant into the bench, staring at nothing. San watched as his Adam's Apple bobbed, before promptly looking away again. God, what was he even doing?

"It's fine." The boy responded. "But I still do want us to be friends."

"So you can find out more stuff about me?"

Wooyoung's gaze focused on San. "Yes. But that isn't the only reason." He kicked his legs up and down. "You seem...nice. To be around, I mean." He continued to stare.

San took a nervous spoon out of the ice cream, fully, utterly, and highly aware of Wooyoung's eyes that never seemed to stray from his face. And hell, it made him want to crawl into a hole and hide in there for eternity.

He bit his lip and zeroed his eyes in on a patch of grass, wanting to know why Wooyoung was staring at him so much. He wouldn't have minded it so much if he'd actually looked decent. "I look sleep-deprived, don't I?"

Wooyoung shook his head. "Actually... you look fine. Like, good, really."

Butterflies sprouted all about San's stomach, fluttering and twirling around and making him feel like an overall queasy mess. He disliked this feeling because it was foreign, not because it was negative.

He coughed. His pulse was erratic.

"You okay?" Wooyoung asked.

"Fine," he forced out.

"Cute or Honest."

"...Cute." San figured there was no use in lying. He felt and probably looked like a mess as well. Fortunately, Wooyoung didn't dig further.

They spent the rest of lunch in silence, and when the bell rang, Wooyoung stood up and faced San.

"So... friends?"

San had a feeling he'd regret this, but for once, he was tired of being scared. He was tired of feeling guilty about everything.

"...Okay."

* * *

a/n: thoughts?