Zaynub Khalid

The place that I once called home turned cold and shallow. After Baba's death, Amu became so depressed and distant. I mean, who could blame her? Her husband just died. Plus, Hajar had been in a shock and tear phase. Something was up, but I couldn't grasp it out. I think something was going on at her school. 

I was going to ask her about it today because whenever I walked by her room I would hear quiet sobs. It was starting to worry me. Amir hasn't been getting sleep because of his new boss. She made him wake up in the middle of the night to check on the electricity in the building! 

Noorah started getting mood swings and she has weird cravings for pumpkin pie. Weird. She also has morning sickness. Being pregnant seems to be driving her crazy now. Then comes Zakir. He has got me more than confused right now.

He said he needed me and then walks out like nothing happened. Men were so confusing. Either you need me or you don't, but no he had to speak in riddles. I hated solving puzzles. They drove me nuts, and that's exactly what Zakir was doing to me! Boys will be boys, I sighed. After the encounter, he started acting all weird.

He lost all colors to his eyes and he seemed distant. Every time Laila tried to talk to him, he just pushed her away and mumbled stuff under his breath. He has this cold look in his eyes now. 

I started to head downstairs for lunch. Zakir's father went to check on their new house with Khadijah. Noorah, Deeliyah, and Laila went shopping for the party we have to attend later today. Zakir's mother was with Amu. 

I could hear soft laughter every now and then from the room they were in. It was great to hear Amu laugh a bit. I knew she was still upset, but she was trying to live up to the promise she made to Baba. 

As I walked into the kitchen I saw Zakir with his back turned to me talking on the phone with someone.

"How can she be so stupid?! I told her over and over again and she still doesn't understand? What the hell? I told her to leave it alone. I get that she's trying to show off, but she just risked my job. Ya Allah, now I have to fix this mess. Okay, just leave it for now. I'll deal with it later," he said and then hung up.

She? Is he in a relationship with someone? That's haraam (forbidden)! Wait, I shouldn't jump to conclusions. Maybe he's talking about that girl from work. Maybe that's why he got all cold and scary. 

Zakir then turned around and almost jumped seeing me. I must have startled him. His shocked expression then changed to one of anger. Why is he mad at me?

"You know you shouldn't listen in on  another person's conversation," he spat out.

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to get something to eat," I quietly said.

"Don't do it again," he glared.

Why is his anger directed at me? I didn't do anything. Not this time at least. 

"Zakir, what's wrong? Why are you so angry?" I asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know? It's none of your concern. Just leave it," he rudely said.

"Then why are you so angry at me?" I asked even more confused than before.

"Why are you asking so many questions?! This has nothing to do with you. Just leave it!" he yelled.

"Well, some people actually care about another person's well being!" I yelled back.

"You would never understand. You never even cared, so why do you care now?!" he narrowed his eyes at me,

"What do you mean I never even cared? Who stood by you when you were getting teased for being a nerd? Who wiped away your tears when you were sad? Who listened to all your problems and then comforted you? Who was your best friend as a child even though you taunted her? Me. I stood by you. I always cared about your well being. The question is why didn't you ever care? Huh? Why did you treat me like a dirt bag in the end? After all I did, that's how you repay me? Now, your accusing me that I never cared? I have always cared," I was near tears now.

How could he say that? I always cared. He was special to me. I guess I was never special to him. He's been playing with my heart. One moment he's saying how much he needs me and the next he throws me to the side like trash. How could he?!

Zakir's eyes softened. "Zaynub-" he started to say.

"I can't believe you! I actually thought you changed! I was wrong. You did it again," I shouted and then turned around to run into my room.

I ignored his pleads for me to come back and ran into my room and shut the door. I leaned my back against my door and slid down until I was on the ground. I started sobbing onto my knees. How could he? I thought he actually changed and started to care for me. I was wrong. He never cared. He just played with my heart. Oh Allah, why would he do that? Doesn't he know I'm already taking in so much? Is he that blind? He left me a broken heart. Again. Wait, a broken heart? 

At that moment, I realized something that I was trying to deny for many years. I like Zakir Khan. I have ever since I was a child. That's why every harsh word he ever said to me hurt. I liked him, and still do. Oh great. He doesn't like me like that. He never will. That point was proven very clearly today by his words and actions. He doesn't care.

That thought just made me want to cry more. He doesn't care. He used me. He threw me off to the side. He never will care. Oh Allah, please fill this empty hole in my heart. Please fix the broken heart he left behind. That's when I heard knocking.

"Zaynub! Open the door, please. Let me explain," he pleaded.

"Leave me alone. You caused enough damage," I cried.

"Please, just open the door. I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm so sorry. Please don't cry," he begged.

"You broke my heart again," I mumbled.

He was silent for a few minutes. I thought he left, but then he spoke again.

"I broke your heart?" he asked.

All I could do was silently cry. He would never feel the same. So, then why should I embarrassed myself by telling him that I liked him? We both were engulfed in silence. Then after what felt like hours Zakir spoke.

"Zaynub, please just open the door for me. I really need to explain. I don't want you to think that I don't care. I do care. If I didn't care about you would I be standing outside your door begging for forgiveness? Please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I never meant to break your heart," he said quietly.

"Why? Why Zakir? Why would you do that to me? Do I not mean anything to you?" I whispered.

"What? No! You do mean a lot to me. I never intended to hurt you this much Zaynub. I... I just... have been... in... a lot of stress lately," he stuttered.

Now I was curious. I opened a door a creak. I saw Zakir staring at me with sad eyes. His whole face was twisted with worry and regret. His eyes were shined by guilt. His hair was sticking up. He was depressed. He then took long strides to my door and stood in front of me.

"Please don't come near me ever again," I whispered then shut the door.

I didn't hear anything on the other side of the door. Then I heard Zakir mutter something.

"What have I done?" he muttered to himself.

Assamualaikum guys!

How do you guys like the story so far? Do you think Zakir and Zaynub will actually fall in love? Will Zaynub forgive Zakir? What is Zakir going to do now?

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