Her gaze flickered towards the canvas again. Lying on the floor with scattered art supplies all around it, the blank canvas stared back at her. It was taunting her, daring her to fill it with the bright colors, wanting to be colored by the strokes of her emotions, while she was the exact opposite. Oh, what she would have given to be blank like the canvas again! Instead she was brimming with emotions she had no way of getting out. Anger. Hatred. Loneliness. Sadness. Frustration. All of it.

Her fingers itched to feel the paintbrush in them but no! She wouldn't touch them. Not now. Not ever! How dare he bring them to her? Did he really think she would forgive him like that? She would rather die of boredom than to use things he'd brought for her.

She banged on the door of her cell. "Please take these things away! I don't want them. Please throw them out. Please!"

It had been a whole day since she'd been begging the guard outside to throw these things away. Because it ached her physically to not use them. But as usual, she got no response. Or so she thought.

The door opened and she sighed in relief. That is until the policewoman opened her mouth again. "You have a visitor!"

"What? If it's the same guy as yesterday then I don't want to go! Tell him to fuck off! AH!"

The guard had yanked her from her cell so hard she was afraid her shoulder was going to pop out.

She was in front of the glass window again. But this time she couldn't have picked up the receiver any sooner.

"Saad!" she gasped out.

"Kubra!"

"Saad, please, please, please get me out of here. I can't live here. Saad, I'll go insane. Please, Saad! Do something. Please."

"Shh... Relax. Calm down. Kubra!" she stopped her rant and looked at her bloodshot eyes, breathing hard. "Calm down. Take a deep breath. In. out. In. out. Good." He took in a deep breath himself, closing his eyes and forcing the tears to go away but the persistent ones still fell on his cheeks. Seeing the love of his life like this, so broken and hopeless was not something he could bear.

It was this moment that Kubra realized how everything had taken a toll on Saad as well. The Saad she knew was nowhere to be seen. His grey eyes were hollowed in the dark circles around them. His beard which he always kept neatly trimmed was unkempt and bushy. His hair were long and falling on his forehead. He looked like he was living her pain with her.

But he wasn't. He couldn't. Nobody could. They could grieve with her but only she knew what she was living through.

"Kubra, I need you to stay calm. Just hold on. And I swear I'd move heavens to get you out. Please. For my sake."

"Saad, I don't know if I can. I don't. I know I'm hurting you most by being like this. But I can't. Saad, I'll go crazy!"

"I know. I know. God damn it! I know. I'm sorry. I'm trying. Please, just hold on."

She exhaled. "Ok. Ok, I'll try. But can you please do one thing for me?"

"Anything." It was a promise.

"Can you please ask these policemen to remove those things from my cell?"

"Of course. Which things?"

"The things Yusuf brought."

"What?! What was Yusuf doing here? How fucking dare he? By what right was he here?"

She chuckled without any humor. "He was here to ask why I killed Wali."

"I'm going to kill that bastard! How dare he come here and give you more pain?" The fury on his face was something she had been seeing on his face for the past three months since she was first accused of it but she was still not used to it. The vein throbbing on his temple, his fist clenched tight, his teeth gritted, his face reddened __ it was not a good look on him.

"And he did, Saad. He brought art supplies for me. I don't want to use the things he brought but my body is longing for the pleasure I felt from painting. Please Saad! Have them removed. Please!"

"I will. They won't be there when you go back. And I'll buy every canvas in town to be brought to you."

She smiled. It was the first time she'd smiled in a long time. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry," he was blaming himself for everything that was happening to her. If only he could've been there that night.

"It's not your fault."

"It is. If on-"

"Saad!" She interrupted him. She didn't know if she could listen to him blaming himself and console him while being in this position. "Can you do one more thing?"

"Hmm."

"Can you bring Mom and Dad? Yusuf told me I'm only allowed to meet them once every six months and I'm asking you to break the law. But please, I need to see mom."

It killed him to not be able to do something for her. "I can't. I'm so-"

"It's okay. Don't apologize."

"KB, you have to trust me. I will get you out."

"I know. You and Huma are the only ones I trust. You Mirza siblings are too boring to take your words lightly." She giggled.

He closed his eyes at the sound, the first thing that was able to soothe the headache he'd been from for the past week. He smiled. "Opposite attracts. I'm boring. You're fun. We're the perfect couple."

"Yeah. The best."

She placed her hand on the glass, wishing it was the warmth of his palm meeting her and not the biting chill. He placed his own on the glass, his heart bleeding at not feeling the softness of hers.

"Kubra?"

"Hmm?" She was entranced by the sight of their hands. So close yet so far away.

"I love you," he sniffed as she met his eyes. He hadn't said the words ever before. He hadn't needed to. The way he showered it on her was more impactful than any words. Or so she thought.

Because right now, she wished he had said these words before. If he had, she was certain she would've left everything and jumped right in his arms. Even the love she held for Yusuf wouldn't have stopped her.

And she wouldn't have been here.

"Saad. I-"

The door behind him was opened and a young policeman entered. "Bro, you have to go now. This was all the time I could give you," he said apologetically.

Kubra looked at him alarmingly. "No! Saad, please don't go. No, please. Just a few more minutes."

She pleaded the policeman behind him with her eyes, tears refilling in her eyes and sliding down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, man! The Chief is here. He'll have my head if he found out I've let you meet her."

"It's okay, bro. Thanks for everything." Saad looked at her one last time. "I'll get you out." He sniffed and without saying a 'bye', he left.

•~•

It had been two months since Kubra had been in jail. And if anyone thinks it's not that long of a timespan, try talking to a mother who had her only daughter snatched away by the cruelty of the system which promised to eradicate it. Shahbaz Baig and his wife, Sonia Shahbaz had their whole world crumpled by the man whom they were going to welcome in their family as their son-in-law.

Their business was on the brink of collapsing, held up only by a few loyal people, and Shahbaz Baig couldn't care less. His little princess was rotting away in a jail. How could he keep working to buy the luxuries of a castle?

He was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed and his hand massaging his forehead to relieve the pain. The couch beside him dipped and a weight rested on his chest. His wife curled up against him, hoping to find some comfort. A comfort he couldn't provide now. He had failed both his queen and his princess.

"She was screaming, Shahbaz." He gritted his teeth as he started feeling the wetness on his shirt. Sonia started telling him his nightmare like every other day. "The dark was haunting her. She was pleading the monsters to go but they kept scratching her. She was trying to reach for me, crying, 'Mama, please save me.' I was right there, in front of her, but I couldn't do anything." Sonia fisted his shirt in her hand. "Why couldn't I do anything?! What kind of mother I am? My baby was crying for me and I couldn't wipe away her tears. Why?"

He rubbed her back, trying his best to be the pillar she needed him to be. But the pain in his heart wasn't letting him do anything. He wanted to promise she'll be out again, but how could he? What hope did he have? "We should sleep. I'll get us some sleeping pills." It was two in the night and both of them couldn't sleep. He stood up, leaving a sobbing Sonia on the couch.

Going into the kitchen, he gripped the counter for support. Breathing heavily, he took the medicine box from a cabinet. Pulling out the pills he was looking for, he popped one in his mouth and took one for his wife, hoping the medicines would let them fall into a deep slumber.

•~•

Four months. Shahbaz's manager had finally succeeded in getting him to take control of his business again after four months of Kubra's trial. Now Sonia was losing her husband too. Shahbaz was busying himself in his work, coping with the situation by burying it deep under the numerous files.

"Are you ready, Sonia?"

They were finally being courageous enough to go out in the world and face the burning questions in every gaze that followed them. Neither of them was ready but they didn't dare admit it. After all, was anyone ever?

"I am." She came out of the bedroom, ready in a blue Saaree, looking sophisticated and beautiful. But the shine in her eyes he loved so much was missing.

They were going to a fundraiser event of some sort. Sonia couldn't care less what it was about. Just that it was a fancy event and was arranged by Shahbaz's friend; that was pretty much all she knew. It was an outdoor event which Sonia was glad about because she didn't think she could breathe inside.

"Mrs. Shahbaz. So sorry to hear about your daughter. I'm sure she wasn't the one at fault." Some lady she'd met only once before in her life and couldn't even remember her name, bluntly said this to her with a concerned voice only ten minutes after they'd reached there.

Not to seem rude, she smiled politely at her when all she wanted to do was to throw the drink in her hand on her face.

"How are you, Sonia? Heard about your daughter. I was very sad about it. I can only imagine how you feel."

"Sonia! So glad to finally see you again. We were all so worried about you after you know your daughter's incident."

Struggling to keep her breathing in check, she increased her pace to go across the ground to where she could see her husband chatting with her friend. The women kept swarming her on the way, wanting to ask her questions, wanting to pay their sympathies. A hand on her shoulder stopped her and a familiar voice called, "Aunty?"

She turned to see her daughter's best friend, Huma.

"Aunty, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine!" She snapped. Huma's eyebrows furrowed and she steered Sonia away towards the house. It was Huma's uncle who had arranged for this event so she didn't think she was trespassing in someone's house. She made Sonia sit on a sofa, bringing a glass of water to her.

"Should I call uncle? You don't look fine."

"Yes, please. And I'm sorry for snapping at you, beta. I was a little overwhelmed."

"It's totally understandable aunty. Please don't apologize." Huma rubbed Sonia's shoulder with one hand while the other dialed her father's number. "Hey dad. Can you please bring Shahbaz uncle inside? Sonia Aunty isn't feeling so good."

"Of course. Take care of her." She cut the call and waited for Sonia to become a little less green.

"I just don't understand. Don't these people get it? It's tough enough as it is for us without their constant reminders. They are all acting as if they know what we're getting through, when all they care about is some gossip to pass their time while having a cup of tea."

"They are all just vultures, feeding off the worries of others. You shouldn't pay heed to them. It only makes us more miserable and them hungry for more." Huma wasn't one for emotional support. She never knew how to console one. But she could relate to Sonia in this situation. She lost her sister too. And she was facing the same questions and fake sympathies. So she was just telling Sonia what she did in this situation.

"It's not that easy to just block out the world."

"It gets easy." Huma couldn't bear to look at her face which was so similar to Kubra's.

"Does it?"

"Hmm." She nodded. "When you realize that whatever we're facing is nothing compared to what she's going through every damned minute. It gets easy."

A sob left Sonia's mouth. "Huma, be honest with me. Is there no hope for her?"

Huma smiled bitterly. "As long as we believe she didn't do it. Yes, there is. My brother has done nothing but work on her case day and night. I have to keep hoping that there's hope. Please don't stop believing that too."

"Sonia!" Shahbaz came walking towards her as fast as he could without running. Sitting on the knees on the floor beside her, he asked her, "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Yes. I was just a bit suffocated outside."

"That's it. We're leaving!" That was a logical thing to do if all he meant was leaving from this event. But Sonia knew there was more to it.

"What do you mean 'leave', Shahbaz?"

"I won't allow you to take any more stress. It's enough. We're going back to Quetta. And we're not coming back. Ever."

Huma looked at him with her mouth open. "Uncle, you're kidding right?" She licked her bottom lip and struggled to find the words that didn't sound rude. "You can't really mean that. You can't just leave everything!"

"Stay out of this, beta. I won't have anything else deteriorating Sonia's health anymore." Sonia had had a heart attack six weeks back. Main cause? Stress. It wasn't an impulsive decision on his part to just pack everything and go. He had been thinking about it for a month. Everything in this city reminded them of her.

"Shahbaz, we should discuss this at length." Sonia tried to reason.

"No! I've made the decision. We're leaving."

"But uncle, you can't just leave, abandoning your daughter here! She's suffering alone in that cold cell probably going nuts, counting each second till she finally gets to see you guys and you're just leaving? How can you do that?"

"Huma!" Shams Mirza, her father stopped her in a stern voice. "Stay out of their family matters."

She made an incoherent sound. "But dad! He's making a mistake!"

"Look beta. I know you care for her deeply. And I love that you love her that much. She's my soul, okay? And no one can feel the pain I'm going through, okay? But I've got to be practical here. Ask your father. Her case is closed. There's nothing you guys can do except for hold on to some hope. But it's futile. And being here, knowing we can't do anything for her is just going to give us more pain. I'm sorry. I've lost my heart." He looked at Sonia with tears in his eyes. "I can't lose my world too."

She gritted her teeth and fisted her hands, trying to keep herself from saying something utterly disrespectful. Her father glared at her, warning her not to mess this up.

She breathed audibly.

"Right now, looking at you, I just can't believe you're Kubra's father. You lost hope so quickly." She knew she had broken the fatherly relation she had with him in that moment. "I just never took you for a coward!"

With that, she turned on her heel and left.

•~•

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