Yusuf officially hated the color white.

The color that was meant to represent peace gave him anything but. Seeing her wrapped in that color as she was lowered under the ground had made him want the color to be eliminated from this world. Eliminated like every single color had been stripped from his life and it was just gloomy grey.

He was pretty sure the woman who just came to stand beside him felt the same, as he stared at Kubra's grave so intently as if he could still see her. He was also certain the man sitting beside her grave also felt the same and more.

Yusuf didn't have the guts to go console Saad, or even show him his face. With how he was scared, some would think it was him who was the reason for her death. But he was not. No one was. Or maybe every single one of them was. Maybe they should've just accepted that she was free and left the revenge behind.

But this was the thing, death left nothing behind but regrets and loads of questions. Questions no one had answer to, and those that no one wanted to answer.

"I wish it had been me," his voice came out as if it were choked. He wasn't quite sure if he'd wanted to say it to Huma or just wanted to let it out in the world with preferably no audience.

"What?" Huma turned slightly towards him, her eyes fixated on her grieving brother sitting numbly by Kubra's gravestone.

"I wish it had been me. Dead, I mean. I wish I had been the one to die in that accident. It would've hurt no one. I've got no parents who care about me, all my friends I've already drawn away. Nobody's heart would have been ripped apart as everyone's is right now. Instead here I am, still breathing, still standing. I wish I had died." His tears finally fell, but no sobs broke the cage of his breath.

"I wish it had been you too." There was no mercy in her voice. "You would've deserved it more." Had he really deserved it? He thought so. But were his actions really so unforgivable? He didn't want to know an answer now that the one person he'd begged for forgiveness was no more. "But you know what?" He looked at her with bloodshot eyes. "Even I would've deserved it more than her. Kubra? She deserved to live finally."

With all the things she'd endured and had continued till her very last breath, she sure did. She was one of those unlucky ones who'd had to struggle to live. There were many who struggled to survive, but Kubra, she had resources to survive but no will to live.

He swallowed. "Do you think we should talk to Saad right now?"

"I don't think he would, even if we tried to. He's in another zone right now, cursing himself, blaming the world. He wouldn't listened to us."

There was nothing truer than that.

*~*~*~*~*

Saad remember reading "The Happy Prince" by Oscar Wilde when he had been a teen, and finding himself glad that the Swallow had died in the Prince's feet and that the Prince too had given his everything at the hands of his partner.

He'd wished to have such a fortunate fate. He wished he had been there in that car with her. He wished he had taken her with him. He wished he would've listened to her the past month when she kept saying that they didn't spend much time together.

Because now, they didn't have any time. And it was all because of him. Everything was because of him. Every misfortune that had befell them had been because of him. All of this wouldn't have even happened if he had just been brave enough in the very start and asked Kubra to marry him.

Now there was no bride to be wedded. Her ring was digging into his palm as he gripped the emerald, refusing to part from it. They were going to get married next week. He was going to make her his forever.

Now, she was buried under six feet forever.

He still couldn't wrap his head around this reality. Why, God? Why? Why did you have to be so cruel?

He screamed. A cry so painful, even the clouds began to tremble and cry. The universe wept alongside him and soaked him in its tears. But all the water in the world now could never turn his heart that had gone barren into something fertile.

Kubra had gone. And she had taken his heart and soul with her. All that was left in him was cold breath. And he was certain he didn't want it.

*~*~*~*~*

For the first time in his life, Shehbaz Baig was tired of his life and his wife. He was tired of being a man, the leader of his house. He just wanted to grieve his daughter that was no more. Instead, he was still expected to hold everyone around him together, especially his wife.

His wife. He was questioning whether she actually was his wife or mere child that he had been loving and providing for all these years. Because for as long as he could remember, even in his worst times, he was picking her up.

And today, when he had lowered his young daughter six feet under the ground, he was tired of having to pick his wife up again. For goodness sake, he should also be allowed to be weak, at least in front of his wife, if not the whole world.

Yet here they were, not sharing their pain, their sadness, but only being realizing that only one of them was going through a loss. And so for the first time in his life, Shehbaz Baig wished that he too had died along with his daughter, rather than being tormented with his life sentence.

*~*~*~*~*~*

It wasn't that Sonia Shehbaz didn't know that her grief was overshadowing any sadness her husband would have been feeling. But she just couldn't help herself. It was so easy to let go of your pains and cry them out to someone who's been picking you up for so long, that she couldn't even hide it now for even her husband's sake.

She'd forgotten how to share the weights of her husband, because her husband had never let her, not even once. And now, with the death of their daughter, she knew she should try. But for the life of her, she couldn't stop the tears that were so mild compared to the pain a heart of the mother was feeling.

Not only because she wasn't helping her husband, but because she couldn't. Just like she couldn't help her daughter when she was alive. And so this guilt of not being able to do anything even when she wanted to was her life sentence.

*~*~*~*~*

"Do you believe in karma, Shams?" Saad's mother, Ayesha, asked her husband a day after Kubra's funeral. Sitting in front of her husband, watching him read a newspaper in a plain shalwar kameez, she realized it had been so long that she had seen him being something other than so stiff.

"Sorry?" he asked, lowering the paper.

"You know, the saying, 'what goes around, comes around,' sort of thing."

"I only believe in the roads I pave for myself through my own hard work, nothing else." This was such a Shams Mirza answer that Ayesha had to scoff mentally.

"Well, I've started to believe in it. You know, we wanted our son to leave Kubra, and now our son has left us."

Shams looked at his wife, the one who had always supported him in everything and never questioned his judgment despite being a lawyer herself, in a mix of awe and disappointment. "It's only been a day, Ayesha. He'll move on. Everyone does. Death is, but a part of life."

"I don't think you get it, Shams. And now it's making me wonder if you ever will get it. I've seen so many cases in my career. Ones I've won and ones I've lost. I've known both defeat and success. But you? You've only known success. Tell me", she took a pause, and Shams clenched his jaw. He knew where his wife was going. "Does finally helping your son win his case feel like success to you?"

"Where are you going with this, woman?" He took off his reading glasses and looked at her.

"It doesn't feel like a victory to me, Shams." Ayesha felt as if she was being choked, but she tried not to let it show. "Even when that bastard has been sentenced to death, it does not feel like justice to me. He wasn't broken. He broke everything around him. The system, his family . . . our family. And he didn't break." The first tears made their way to her cheeks. "Our son's love was sacrificed in all of this. And if anyone asks why?" She scoffed. "It was just collateral damage."

He sighed. He hadn't a clue as to what his wife was asking of him now. "What do you want me to do, Ayesha?"

She sniffed and wiped her cheeks, composing herself. "I don't think you can do anything. I don't think any of us can do anything." She shook her head. "I just wish I had stood by my son all those years back instead of backing you."

Her last word had so much resentment that it left him shocked.

She stood up and went to the terrace, wrapping the shawl around her shoulders and looking up at the sky, which was continuously drizzling since yesterday. She was finding it difficult to breathe. All her life, she had stood by her husband, keeping her family together. But now the regret was seeping deep into her bones that she should've supported her son and gone with her judgment at the time.

Now it was all too late. And she knew that her family was never going to be the same again. She would stay by her husband, and that would mean letting go of her children. Her little one, Tayyab, already only returned from the States rarely. Her daughter hated her father's guts.

And her eldest. Saad. Her heart felt burdened whenever she thought of what he was going through and which would only worsen with time.

She felt her husband's presence behind her, before he put his hands on her shoulders. "I would have you know that I am sorry. I know you might find it hard to believe. But I feel so guilty not supporting my son when I should have done it without any proof. But I would also have you know that the things that happened most probably would have happened anyway."

He released a heavy breath and slid his hands to her forearms. "Kubra's death has affected all of us, and if I could do something to change it, I would. But I can't. And I'm sorry, but I can't." He turned her around to face him but she kept her head down. "I'm not unaware of what we've lost, Ayesha. But I don't want to lose you too."

She met her reddened eyes with his and smiled, putting her hand on his chest. "You're not losing me, Shams. We're going to endure this life sentence together."

*~*~*

It was January 12th.

Huma was waiting in the courtyard of the prison in her best suit, trying her best to not show that she had been crying the last week. Leaning against her car, she folded her arms and turned her head low. She knew there were many news reporters outside, trying to report the execution of Jamal Bajwa.

She could feel their impatience when they weren't allowed in. If she'd had her way, she would've allowed them all in and let them record that bastard of a man being choked to death when he would be hanged. She wished the whole world saw his downfall. She wished everyone saw that terror of death in his eyes moments before that black plastic would be thrown over his head.

But apparently it was considered too gruesome for the television.

She looked to the other car behind her and tried to look inside despite the glare of the sunlight. She could feel his gaze on her, but he hadn't come out in the past hour. Not even a nod of acknowledgement. She was growing weary of it, knowing her brother who no one had seen in the last week was there but not with her.

When her frustration had reached its limit, she straightened her lapels and moved to Saad's car. Sitting in the passenger seat quietly, she removed her glasses and looked at him.

She thought she'd seen her brother broken before. But now, the man in front of her, she didn't recognize him. He was the same, and yet she hadn't felt more estranged from someone. He was gripping the steering wheel tightly, his eyes bloodshot, his grey suit crisp. It looked as if he had taken extra time to get ready today, wanting to show everyone that this was the most important thing he had to do.

"Were you ever going to get out of the car?" She asked him. But it fell on deaf ears. "Talk to me, Bhai. We're all we've left. I know what you're going through. I'm going through it too."

He turned towards her and his lip tipped up in a cruel half-smile. Then he turned back again. "You don't know. No one does. Even I can't explain it." His voice was scratchy.

"I know that, Bhai. But all this crying, turning your house upside down, screaming through the night. . . Is it going to help? Is this what Kubra would ha-"

She was cut short when he gripped her throat suddenly and got into her face. "DON'T presume to know what she would have wanted. SHE ISN'T HERE!"

She watched as his own eyes widened. He looked at his hand around her neck in shock, and immediately removed it. He hadn't gripped it, just put his hand there, and she knew he wanted to cut it right now.

Saad was NOT violent.

He took in deep breaths and placed his forehead on the steering wheel. "She's not here. Okay? She's not here to tell me how I should behave anymore. She has left me, when we promised a forever together. She LEFT me. All alone in this world. Made me hate everyone, even my own self. So do NOT tell me what she would have wanted!"

After a few moments when Huma's shock subsided, she placed her hand on his arm and caressed gently. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't. But I don't know what to do anymore. Everything is broken around me, and I haven't a clue how to fix it."

"So don't. Let yourself break too. Because I can promise you, this pain? This grief? I want it. I need it. I don't ever want to let it go. I want to feel it break my being every single second. That's the only I can live." He looked into her eyes which were exactly like his. "Else I'll kill myself."

She winced and straightened, none shared another word for another hour, till another car entered through the gates amidst the sea of media held back by the police.

Yusuf parked it right beside Saad's and got out. Looking over at them, he nodded.

Saad put on his sunglasses and got out, Huma following suit. She watched Saad look at Yusuf for a long time. She thought with how volatile Saad was, he would hit Yusuf.

But after a while, Saad nodded at him and went to stand beside him with Huma in the middle. None looked at each other.

"It's time." Yusuf checked the time and put his hand in his pocket.

"I suppose it is." Huma gulped. "Am I ever going to see you guys after this?"

Yusuf looked down at her and smiled, then met Saad's eyes and schooled his features. "Me? I don't think so." Yusuf was moving to England, never to return back.

Both of them looked Saad, who just kept looking forward. He hadn't told them anything, but they knew he wouldn't stay here. He would disappear without telling anyone, never to return.

"Let's go," was only what he said and they went to witness the execution of the man who had ruined their lives.

And it brought peace to none of them.

~The End~

*~*~*~*~*

Assalam-oAlaikum lovely people!

How are you all? Long time no see!

Yes, Yes, I deserve the tomatoes. No update for so long and then ending it without warning?

Well that's something that I hadn't intended, but oh well. It feels complete to me, only the epilogue left.

Let me tell you guys one thing, the amount of emotional and mental toll this book took on me, it's indescribable. I felt everything Kubra and Saad and Huma and Yusuf.....all of them felt. And i kid you not, i began to hate myself for deciding to write such a traumatic book. Trust me, I understand all of you. But hey, it had to end like this. Just how Kubra didn't get her closure. That's just how life ends.

And so, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart that you followed this story till the end and haven't killed me. It means a lot to me. 

Till we meet again in another story. 

I love you all so so muchh!

Fee Amaan Allah❤❤❤