Kubra twiddled her thumbs on the wooden table, feeling self-conscious under Yusuf’s unnerving gaze yet refusing to cower or to give any response to him. Well, his question was as ridiculous as himself. “How are you?” was what he had asked. What was she even supposed to say? That the only motivation to stay alive these past years was to hate you? So she said nothing.

“I’ve questioned the witness.” He started. “I’ve seen the recordings. I’ve seen the real evidence. . . And . . .”

“And you realized that you were wrong all along and I was right the whole time.” She breathed out instead of wasting her breath on him. “Just say what you’re here for, Yusuf.”

Yusuf had more or less forced her to meet him before the trial. For what? She was yet to find out. But this was the first time in four years she was seeing him without the glass between them and she felt an itch on her palm. She barely stopped herself in replacing it with the pain by slapping him.

She grew impatient and that was evident by the increased tapping of her foot against the hard floor which barely made any sound and the blood that oozed out of the corner of her nail where she had been picking at the skin.

“You’re never gonna forgive me, are you?”

She wanted to laugh. She really did. But she couldn’t, for her throat was suddenly too dry, her heartbeat a little louder and a breath a little quicker. Not because she held any feelings for him still. Okay, she did. But those were a little stronger than love. Those were of hatred.

No, but because she was suddenly transported to the time she had said the same to him a day before her trial about Wali’s murder. She wasn’t in her jail suit but a simple mint green Shalwar Kameez and he was in a similar suit except it was brown. It had been a desperate attempt on her part for her survival as well as to have a glimpse of love in his eyes they once shared.

“You’re never gonna forgive me, are you, Yusuf?” she had been pleading him with her eyes.

He had clenched his jaw and intensified the steeliness in his eyes before spatting, “No. For what you’ve done is unforgivable. You’ve taken a life. My brother’s life. And I will stop at nothing to make sure you pay for the crime and sin you’ve committed.”

“Kubra?” she gasped, forcefully taking air into her lungs, coming back to reality on Yusuf’s voice.

    “I asked you same once, do you remember?” She saw the recognition in his eyes and watched him prepare to take the brunt of what she was about to say. “You said I’d taken a life. That I didn’t deserve forgiveness. That I’d committed a sin.” She could feel needles pricking her eyes and tears forming in them. She looked up without moving her face and breathed open-mouthed. When she spoke again, her voice was trembling. “You’ve taken a life as well, Yusuf. My life. I may yet have breath in my lungs but heaven knows my soul has departed me for years.”

    “Cut the emotional crap!” screamed KB. “Just curse him and let’s go!”

    “No, you do not want to hurt him badly dear. And wishing ill on someone is not who you are,” coaxed Saddy.

    “Oh please!” KB groaned and rolled her eyes.

    She blocked both their voices, this was one of the rarest occasions that could and she felt victorious for that, and continued. . .

    “You’re guilty of all the things you once accused me of and more, Yusuf. You ruined my life. You gave more pain to my family than six generations of the world’s population combined ever could. You destroyed friendships,” she could tell that he was aware she was talking about Saad. “You made fun of love, and you juggled relations with no care in the world. Tell me, Yusuf. Do you deserve forgiveness?”

    He bowed his head and swallowed, clenching his jaw and shutting his eyes, not wanting to show any moisture in his eyes. But when he looked at her again, the tears started brimming in his eyes anyway. “Kubra, please-”

    “DO NOT!” she cut him before he could plead for his case. Just like he did to her. “Do not sit here expecting me to put a salve on your wounds and soothe your troubled heart after I’ve spent years holding onto the broken pieces of my soul, even when they cut me physically and drained me emotionally!”

    She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and sniffed, not bothering with the tears streaming down her face.

    “How dare you come here and ask for forgiveness when you refused to even listen to my cries? When you refused to believe anything other than what you deemed to be true? When you made me a murderer after I was the one who was about to be raped?!” that was the ugly truth thrown right at his face.

    “I’m sorry. . .” his voice was nothing but a whisper.

    “I TRUSTED YOU!” her voice shook the entire building. “I LOVED YOU MORE THAN ANY THING IN THIS WORLD. I TRUSTED YOU WITH MY HEART AND YOU SENT ME TO THIS HELL HOLE!” Her throat felt raw after screaming. “When I needed you the most, when I needed you to hold me and assure me that everything was gonna be alright, you jerked me away! I can never forget the loathing you looked at me with. I can never forget the hateful words you spewed at me. I can never forget and I will never forgive. Not even if you go down on your knees and beg me. Not even if the hell freezes over. Not even when you’re on your death bed.”

    She stood up, making the chair topple over. “Go home, Yusuf. Go home, knowing that you ruined an imperfectly perfect girl. Go and think of ways you can present to the court so that I may remain in here longer. I’ll go to mine tomorrow a well, knowing I ruined myself by loving you. But the difference between you and me is that I have someone who trusts me despite everything, because of everything.”

    She put her chained hand on the doorknob, twisting it. “I’m not gonna be the defendant’s lawyer anymore. I trust you.”

    She turned and glared at him through the stinging water in her eyes. “Go fuck yourself Yusuf! You’re not doing this because you trust me! You’re doing this because you do not want to lose! Don’t try to tell me anything but. I know how selfish you are!”

    This was the first time she saw KB and Saddy together being content with her decision.
   
*~*~*~*

Kubra was in that dead silent courtroom once again, in fresh clothes for the first time in more than four years, listening to Huma make anecdotes after anecdotes. Let’s rephrase that. The room wasn’t silent. Its noise was just masked by the blood rushing to her brain that deafened her. She only understood what was happening by the expressions on different people’s faces.

She was closely observing the expressions on Huma’s face. Huma was enjoying the victories she felt she’d secured after proving the convicted was innocent. She looked at Saad. He too looked confident. Feeling her gaze on him, he looked at her, smiled and gripped her hand, assuring her that it was alright and that this was the end of her unfair punishment. She looked back at the audience and her eyes met Yusuf’s. His were bloodshot but oddly reassuring as well.

She looked at the judge and she felt nervous all over. He was as emotionless as the start of the hearing. He showed no signs of pity or as if he was convinced about her innocence. What if he gave verdict against her again? She had heard of the cases where the judge was sold. She prayed this one wasn’t.

But he could be. . .

After all, Jamal Bajwa was a powerful man, a corrupt politician. He had no restraints.

No, don’t think like that, Kubra.

“And why not? It’s all true! He’s sold. He doesn’t care for justice, let alone you. We’re going back to the same cell.” KB suddenly appeared in front of her in the witness box, leisurely slinging her arm over the frame.

“Don’t listen to her,” Of course Saddy had to come contradict her.

Suddenly, there was no one in the courtroom but the three of them.

“Oh please!” KB groaned. “Why do you want to be free anyway? We were all alone there, just the three of us. No body to hurt us. No body to taunt us. Now they’re going to try to separate us.”

“But Saad and everyone we love are outside. We’ll be cared for. We won’t have to be cold anymore.”

“But they don’t care for us. Our parents left us alone and only when we were dying did they come back!” there was sadness in KB eyes, even if she was trying to be mean. Wait! Sadness? In a shadow’s eyes? Kubra was going crazy. But she already was. No, no, she wasn’t. She was.

Wait, was she?

“Kubra?” Saad shook her and she fell back into reality, or whatever this was.

Her ears opened with a pop and the silence hit her like a train. Everyone was looking at her, standing while she was the only one sitting still.

“All rise for the court,” was said once again. Saad didn’t think he’d ever heard it been said twice but he was more worried for Kubra as she looked dazed.

Kubra stood up instantly, her chair creaking, drawing more attention towards her. Breathe in. Breathe out. She counted her pulse without even putting her finger on the artery. Don’t pass out.

The judge started speaking, but she was more focused on trying not to fall flat on her face.

“I hereby release Kubra Shahbaz of all the charges and declare her a free woman.”

A free woman. . .

Released of all charges. . .

The judge said something about the arrest of Jamal Bajwa and announced his punishment.

A free woman. . .

Someone behind her in the spectators cried in relief, no doubt Sonia Shahbaz, mother of the wrongfully convicted, now a free woman. Someone behind her in the spectators cried in protest, no doubt Maryam Bajwa, wife of the real murderer.

A free woman. . .

Saad kissed her temple gently, holding her close, as the crowd in the court started to thin and the only people remaining were the ones who were related to her one way or another.

A free woman. . .

Her parents and Huma came near her and she felt Saad’s arm slipping away. Panicking, she looked at him and he was smiling. “I’m right here.”

A free woman. . .

Her right hand unknowingly went to the wrist of her left where it was still red from the biting handcuff and the thick scar that she wasn’t proud of.

A free woman. . .

Sonia Shahbaz cried and threw her arms around her daughter. Today was the happiest day of her life. She was whispering ‘Thank God’ along with the lines of something else grateful. But Kubra couldn’t quite catch that for chill ran up her spine and head felt dizzy. Bile rose up in her stomach and threatened to spill all everywhere,

Four years of longing for her mother’s touch and when she finally had it, her body pushed her away.

Another pair of arms wrapped around them and she instantly recognized the cologne of her father. But the warmth they held chilled her bones all the more.

But she didn’t pull away. Even if being in their arms meant she had to actively struggle not to pass out, she didn’t hurt them by denying them the feeling of having their daughter in their arms after four years. They too had longed enough.

Her father pulled away and she found the big guy bawling his eyes out at the happiness and grief combined. “Don’t cry, dad,” it seemed to her as if she hadn’t heard her voice in years.

“Never,” he wiped his face with his palms. “Never again am I letting you leave us.”

Her mother too pulled away. “Never again.”

She smiled. “I’m counting on it.”

She looked at the last person who patiently waiting by her side, smiling while trying to control her tears. But who was she kidding? Kubra knew Huma inside out, and she could make this claim even after four years of being away.

This time she threw herself on her best friend. “Thank you,” she whispered. For everything.

Huma tightened her arms around her and buried her face in Kubra’s shoulder. “I’m sorry it took so long.”

Kubra could feel her shoulder getting more wet by the tears of her loved ones, but she didn’t mind it, thought the nasty feeling didn’t leave her the whole time.

Saad placed a hand on Huma’s shoulder and said, “We should go home,” and only then did Huma pulled away.

*~*~*~*

Sonia and Shahbaz Baig stepped out of the courtroom first and took the initial brunt of the questions by the swarm of media reporters.

“YOUR DAUGHTER IS FINALLY FREE. CAN YOU TELL US A BIT ABOUT HOW YOU’RE FEELING?”

“DID JAMAL BAJWA ACTUALLY KILL HIS SON?”

“HOW IS THE COURT GONNA COMPENSATE FOR THE LOST TIME?”

The security led them through the sea of reporters towards their car and they didn’t waste a second in driving away from the court.

Then it was her and Saad who stepped out.

Similar questions were thrown at them too. But Kubra was too busy breathing in the city air, getting drunk on the sun that so generously poured its rays onto her. Time seemed to slow down around her as the crowd blurred once again.

That small moment was unfortunately cut short, for Saad pulled her further into him and started for the car that the valet was holding the door open for. Then the questions started registering in her brain.

“HOW MUCH DID YOUR FATHER PAY TO GET YOU OUT OF THERE, YOU MURDERER?” That wasn’t from a reporter but simply a zealous supporter of Jamal Bajwa.

“KUBRA, HOW ARE YOU FEELING AFTER FINALLY GETTING OUT OF THE JAIL?”

“KUBRA, SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON FINALLY BEING FREE!”

Kubra wanted to scream, ‘Try living there for a day and you tell me!’ but she buried her face in Saad’s chest and hoped for the never-ending shortest path to the car to end.

Finally, Saad made her sit in the car and shut the door, silencing the world.

Saad started driving and immediately took her hand in his, not wanting to leave her, making her believe that,

She really was a free woman.

*~*~*~*

ASSALAM O ALAIKUM EVERYONE!

How are you all? How’s your Ramadan going?🤍

SHE’S FINALLY OUT, PEOPLE!!!!🥳

I almost do not want to write the next chapters for I know they’re going to drain me. BUT don’t worry. I will write them. I want you all to go through what these characters make me go through.😁

One thing I want to say though. I know many of you do not read the whole chapter and skip many descriptive paragraphs. And while you can do without reading the chapter completely in many other  books, I don’t think you should skip anything here. Because the paragraphs are all mostly about how Kubra or the character is feeling and developing as a person, for good or bad, that’s obvious. But you get my point right?

So don’t skip through the paragraphs. At least not completely, please, if you want to have the full experience of this book.

That being said, please share your thoughts on the chapter and the whole story in general. I’ve received some excellent response from you all overall, so thank you so much for that.🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️💞💞

Please vote⭐, comment🖋️, share📨 and follow!

Thank you!💓💓💓
Lots of love❤️❤️❤️
Javeria.