Thats it i thought , was this the end of me? Not to exaggerate but it actually felt like some dagger stabbed me. My own cousin was faking it , noone told me anything and suddenly the guy i hated the most being a complete stranger, could tell me about this. I showed no expression towards him and my main motive was to investigate his ostensible words . If his words prooved to be true , i promise to be nice to him and end all relations with Jaynie but , if he was bluffing then it would be the end of him and i was dead serious when i made this decision. 

 To show him that im not a type of person he could mess around with, i told this guy with hazel eyes that i‟ll get back to him about the same but for the mean time i wanted him to believe that Jaynie and Christian are genuine cousins . Whether it was a lie or not let this remain a mystery.But, i didnt want to seem gullible infront of him.There was no conversation between me and the guy with hazel eyes from that day onwards about this. There were three options on my mind that seemed to be sensible and reasonable for me to inquire from . The first one would be the popular girl who was my friend or Jasmine and Katty who basically knew nothing. Jordan was not a right option as he wouldnt want to break my heart even if the assumptions are true. The popular girl might be of some help to me but what if she tells it to her boyfriend? What if a new conspiracy pops up? So not ready for that. The only option i had left was Jasmine , we were friends but not to the point where i would share my personal stories with her so i thought of making her spill the beans without actually saying anything. Like , i‟ll mention Christian‟s name to her and if she‟ll ask me regarding how i know him or whatsoever i think its fair enough to tell her that he was my ex neighbour , i mean it wouldnt be a lie but it wasnt the entire truth as well yet , i felt it was sufficient for me to acquire information.

  The night after that , Jasmine coincidentally messaged me and told me that she had insomnia and since i was awake that night i wanted to accompany her as well as clear my doubts about Christian . I went on asking her according to my plan and she told me that he washer classmate during primary school and they used to be really close. She wasnt disclosing anything about Jaynie so i decided to pop the question instantly . I asked her if she knew my cousin who was pretty much known by almost everyone (in a good or bad way , but mostly bad) she said that she knew Jaynie but not exactly what you would describe as "knew" . She could identify Jaynie but she didnt know her enough to start a conversation with her . She also told me that the public have been speaking about her a lot and that she is very close to Christian. No hints yet that they were dating , i decided to postpone my investigation about the same until i find another sensible person to inquire from. 

 Days and weeks have passed and i had the same agitation daily as i first had when the guy with hazel eyes told me for the first time. We had a social gathering kind of party for mothers and daughters scheduled next week and the people who were in this group , let me tell you , they are gossip queens. Any hot news , someone just broke up , anyone dating currently or the history of any person, these people would be the first ones to know. I dont even know how i ended up in a pile of gossipers.Initially , my mom forced me to join this unimportant thing because she thought that i was too much of an"introvert".

  We had lunch together and the moment our parents stood up from the table to settle the bill, these people used the opportunity to start a hot topic and they were like "vic do you know what christian did recently?" and deep inside i was like oh damn , not again not another controversy please! With all of this running through my mind , i managed to reply with a straight face and said "nope ,all good?" . One of the girls told me that he was seen being intimate with Jaynie in a public school carnival. Ok , now to be honest i didnt know how to react especially when i choked while taking a sip from my glass that made it seem obvious that i actually gave a damn about this. I told the girl "oh really , but arent they cousins?" . COUSINS? they mimicked and further bursted out in laughter . Right before they could say anything further, it was time to go home. 

 Now , it was hard for me to deny this fact.I mean , the guy with hazel eyes could belying but these people know every intricate detail about everyone . So, i couldnt doubt them. I dont know how to explain this ,but it was like a "breakup period" for me .I mean, you know breaking up with your crush who is your imaginary boyfriend is harder than i assumed it to be. I had no news coming from Jaynie nor Christian and whoever had the guts to tell me anything about these two people , whoever it may be would probably be killed by me .I didnt want to know anything about them, it was hard enough for me to go through all this by myself , i wouldnt want anyone else adding salt to my wounds.

  I am a type of person who is usually capable of hiding my emotions but , this time it was too much. My face was always pale in school and i barely spoke to anyone. The guy with hazel eyes approached me one fine morning in the canteen before the first period of the day and he was like "whatsup , did christian do this to you?" and i was like "do what?"and he said " oh you know , is he the one responsible for removing the colours from your face?" deep in my heart , i wanted to curse him for this like what does he think of himself ? imitating shakespeare and acting too wise for no reason. I replied with a "hm"(to show that i was not interested) and walked away quickly. He chased me from behind with his girlfriend(the popular girl) just staring at the sight . I dont think she liked whatever was happening .

  This guy had the guts to chase me and tell me , "didnt i tell you vic! Didnt i tell you?"he repeated this like ten times and i finally got enraged so i turned around to give him the answer he was waiting for "you are right , im wrong im SO sorry" i said sarcastically .He gave me that friendly smile and said "oh nothing to be sorry about" . With that , i just glared at him and walked away plainly. 

  Katy , being my personal news reporter told me that there is something wrong between the guy with hazel eyes and his girlfriend (my popular friend) and this was the reason why they are hardly seen together in the canteen nowadays . Um..whats the point of katty telling me this though ? Its not like i care , but she did.Because, it was a good thing for her. But ,the guy didnt like her in that way so ,being her friend i didnt know what to advice her . She was like "vic tell me what i should do" and all i could tell her at that time was that "i cant even figure out whati have to do next in my life so how do you expect me to help you?" she didnt knowin exact detail about what actually happened to me or how i reached the turnover point of my life but she knew that something was up so she decided to be understanding and finally developed self consoling for herself and stopped asking me silly questions like that.

  Later that night , Jordan called me at around 12am. I was still awake as i had insomnia (as usual) but he didnt have any special reason to call me . He told me that he was bored and that was it. I was bored too so i was like oh well , why not? . I didnt know our happy conversation would end up to be an emotional one towards the end. After talking about school and his life with all the new friends he made ,there was an awkward pause in the phone call for about ten seconds until i broke the silence by asking him "Why didnt you tell me those two arent cousins in the first place?" And he clearly understood what i meant by "those two" . 

  He told me that he had his reasons for that and back those days when I used to live in Christian‟s locality , Christian used to complain about me apparently every single time he met Jordan. Its sickening i mean , he used to act nice to me so whats all the complaining about? Jordan told me that Christian considered me to be disturbing and that i was always staring at him creepily . He even told Jordan that i stalked him throughout the evening daily .Ok i would not lie to myself , i do stare at him but not to the extent that anyone should refer to that as "stalking" and i do not creepily stare at him , it was just a coincidence as i mentioned before.Sometimes , i would meet him during my evening walks and sometimes he wouldnt be present . It was all a matter of coincidence not "stalking".

  I patiently explained all of this to Jordan and he didnt know what to say , it felt like my heart just broke again like how it did when those girls told me about Christian and Jaynie. I ended the call with the excuse that i was sleepy but , before i could end it Jordan said , "vic hold on a second i need to tell you something very important" and i was like "And what could that be?" he told me that the guy with hazel eyes disclosed to him that i was beautiful and even inquired him to find out whether i was "an easy to get" girl or whether i play hard to get . Jordan told me that the main idea behind his reply to this guy was that it is kinda impossible (more like entirely impossible) to woo a girl like me but, he can try his luck. He couldnt be mean to this guy with hazel eyes as he was pretty close to him and this may be why he told him that there‟s no harm in trying. The fact that i was so disturbed about Christian didnt allow me to think about this for a bit. Deep inside i was like honestly , who cares? I hated him from the bottom of my heart there is no way nor room in my life for a person like him. Jordan said"goodnight vic" . The fact that ive never cried for a guy prevails within me . I was broken but i was not ready to accept that.After overthinking entirely for two hours ,  i ended up falling asleep with wild thoughts on my mind.   

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