Today someone stepped on me. Obviously, I'm all over the place, so I should be used to it, but I'm this big field that people tend to stay away from. Nobody's owned me for about fifteen years, and I'm fenced off, so it's kinda hard to get to me. It was painful to be stepped on, but I guess sometimes you gotta feel pain to feel alive? Or did I say that wrong? I don't know, my fifteen years of complete isolation have taken their toll, and I've been so bored that I've learnt how to do origami. The thing is, I DON'T HAVE HANDS!! I think the Guy(s?) Upstairs forgot that sometimes grass gets lonely. It's quite sad, actually. All I want are some hands. There are some people in the world who have new hands, or have had three hearts, or have three brains (I'm looking at those sea spiders, octopi)! 

Yeah!

And yet, the Divine Creator(s?) give(s?) me no special powers! I mean, at least give me the ability to change colour!! The closest I ever came to that was that year that there wasn't enough rain and I completely wilted!! My throat felt so dry all the time (wait, does grass have a throat?).

I think that my feelings should be taken into account, because grass has feelings too, as you can tell from this beautiful, perfectly narrated, shocking, revealing story of a day in my life.

I'll tell you what we need: we need a grass representative! A reliable grassfolk, who can lead us through better or worse, who is good with our money, is kind, and caring!

Actually, that's a perfect description of me!!! I'm going to present this new idea to the United International Grass, and then I'm going to apply! I'll win for sure! Ernie in the field next door said they completely trusted me, so I've got one vote at least, which is surely more than any other field, forest or grassland would ever get!!

I'm so close to getting complete order over all grasses. Once I take over grass, I can control the harvest, and once the hoomans start starving, they'll look up to the grass as a diety!!

ME!!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!