oof I need to get my crap together, speaking of managing my time

not that I'm procrastinating on everything, but I have Z E R O time for myself

I knew it was a problem before, but I've only realized how much I need to chill out after forcing myself to take it easy for Thanksgiving break

it's at the point where I'm either working at Redner's or working on schoolwork whenever I have free time, which isn't really free time

and that can be mentally harmful if it keeps up but eh, I'm trying to work it out

tomorrow the fam is heading out again, but when we get back, I NEED to work on my chemistry lab at least so that I have all of Monday to work on AP Language, which is quite a bit, and I just remembered that I need to work on that Desmos thing

o o f

anyways, I'm glad I have a couple days to enjoy my time without it being tainted with work

despite the fact that I worked on Thanksgiving and today but that's beside the point

it was only four hours each and it was early on enough that I had enough time afterward to enjoy myself

anyways, my mom and my older brother got iPhone X's, so that's interesting

I'm perfectly fine with my phone atm and I'm not a big fan of Apple, so I said my younger brother can have my older brother's old iPhone 5

I'll get myself a better phone after I'm not poor

anyways, I drove a bit more yesterday, which went pretty well despite not being able to drive for weeks

surprisingly it was pretty smooth without a whole lot of whoopsies

so I went to work on Echoing Falls today, and I had a hardcore pang of emotions as I whipped it out and read over a few sections, especially due to the fact that I had zero time to work on it

I wrote a little bit, but I was dead tired so I had to take a nap otherwise I'd be in bad shape, but I also want to work on my workload so I can do what I love to do

lmao I'm still tired this all sounds so extra lmaoooooooo

but yeah

 ooh I might be able to get myself a legitimate therapist

one of my buddies started therapy, and we have the same insurance, and the insurance actually covers this one

the only reasons why I don't have a therapist already is because of how the ones my dad checked out didn't take our insurance, but now it's a possibility

although I have been feeling a whole lot better than before, it's always nice to have that extra precaution, and despite the progress, I do still get low days where I just want to sleep all day and escape everything, and there's a slur of other problems that might need to be talked through since most of the time usually spent with the school counselor is about the good progress that had happened and what I've had done and all that, which is still necessary and important, but with only fifteen minute sessions, it's quite pressed for time, and on a bad day, it's more difficult to come to something other than making it through the day, which I still appreciate and need to do, but with more time and a full-time therapist, a lot more can be discussed 

lmaoooooo I wanna sleep but typing is enjoyable 

so basically,

1. I have zero time

2. Technology

3. Echoing Falls is lit

and 4. therapy is possible

lmao life's a bit of a mess rn but it's an organized and controlled mess

heh

also I had a fresh Starbucks frappuccino yesterday and frikkin Starbucks coffee beans are burnt af it's nasty, but other than that it was pretty good