Life Of Jiji

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©2022 Tena Ifiemi

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die for you - the weeknd

playlist - M.I. & nonso amadi

|Damian Briggs|

I admit, it was hard returning back to school after having the chance to take care of my mom for all these weeks. She had been pushing me to leave since the actual resumption date but I was stubborn. I knew I would have to resume school eventually but I wanted to delay it for as long as possible.

It's not like there wasn't anybody there to take care of her. Pete was there and even Jayden, my little brother could run a few small errands but I knew the only way I'd be at rest is if I was there. Physically. Only then would I be sure what's going on and exactly when anything happens.

Mom didn't know that Mide called me about the prefectship applications and I didn't want her to. I spent the entire night and the next day thinking about it. This has been one of my biggest high school dreams: becoming the Sports Prefect, so I was very conflicted. I didn't want to leave mom but I didn't also want to miss out on this.

Mr Harry calling was one thing I did not expect. In fact when my mom picked up the call and I realized who she was talking to, my heartbeat accelerated. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong so I didn't really understand why at the time. I realized later though, that it was because I was keeping something from mom. If she knew about the prefectship applications -which I didn't tell her about- she'd not have let me stay this long. I remember the look she gave me before handing me her phone followed by,

'Abi I told you to go to school.'

The highlight was finding out who was behind the whole thing. I couldn't believe it. Ejiro? The blush that took over my face when Mr Harry said, 'Your girlfriend' still embarrassed me. I still stand on the fact that it was because I was caught unawares and the call was on speakerphone. Mom had quirked an amused eyebrow when she heard it.

When the phone was passed to Ejiro, mom nodded silently with a small smile and gestured to the door. A silent answer to my unasked question. I smiled back and left the ward.

I was surprised by her reaction after I spoke the first words. When I asked how many people she was going to send after me. Maybe she didn't understand my tone or maybe my voice had indeed become flat after the way that day had gone. Mom wasn't in any critical situation, yes but a hospital day was not a field one especially with the news we heard...or at least I was hearing for the first time.

Maybe it was just my ignorance though, because why hadn't the cost of my mom's treatment occurred to me all this while? Our family's finances which were basically what was keeping my mom alive were going down the drain and among all the things I saw going wrong, that one didn't occur to me. When I heard, all the cogs in my brain began to turn at once,

"But, mom. We can't be broke, I'm pretty su-"

"Nobody said we're broke Damian."

I ignored her, "Yeah but what of all those money in my trust fund and well, Dan's? He's working, he can take care of himself. I mean, even my university savings..."

That was when she slapped me. Searching my memories now, it's actually been a long time since my mom slapped me or even hit me which was probably why I was so shocked.

"Don't ever bring that up again! Do you hear me, Damian!" She screamed at me and on cue, a nurse entered the room and told me to leave.

I didn't hesitate, I knew I needed space to at least clear my mind. Immediately I entered a stall in the bathroom, I began to cry. The tears hit me unexpectedly and at first I tried to clean them as fast as they were falling but I soon gave up, no one was seeing me anyway so I might as well just let it out.

I wasn't crying because mom had slapped me, definitely not. But the slap seemed to have just opened the floodgates to all my pent up emotions.

"Fuck!" I yelled, hitting the tiled wall beside me as the whole situation dawned on me afresh.

Mom had left her job because of her illness. There was no way she could go to work in her condition so at first the company she worked for was kind enough to allow her work from home but soon enough that too was impossible and they just had to let her go. She started responding to treatment though, and living on hemodialysis, she was able to get on her feet again but what I didn't know was that what she earned now couldn't compare with her original job.

My mind went through all our spendings, from my brother's college tuition fees in the UK to mine at MIA. I didn't know my brother's fees exactly but I did know that, the cost of living in London was high and he was living off campus in an apartment my mom is renting. Let's not get started on my own school fees because I knew the exact amount of that one and it wasn't cheap.

But then all this while, I thought we could afford it. Technically we could actually; back then but it seems we no longer can. Inhaling and exhaling a heavy amount of air, I kicked off the wall and exit the stall I was in. I finish splashing water on my face to cool off when I feel someone tap my shoulder,

"I lost someone too, y'know. But they say it gets better with time, so I just thought to tell you that."

My jaw hardened at his words and I was about to snap when I took on the guy that spoke to me. He looked young, but older than me, he was about my height and had a scattering of beards on his chin. But what really got me was his eyes, apart from the glaring fact that they were bloodshot, they looked tired as well, sad and hopeless. And then I remember the beginning of his speech,

'I lost someone..'

So instead of getting angry at what he insinuated, I mustered a small smile,

"Thanks bro, and I'm sorry that you have to go through what you're going through." I told him before proceeding to leave the bathroom.

I refrained from saying the words lingering on my tongue, '...but I didn't lose anyone and I hope I never do'.

Why? Because people liked the thought that someone else actually understands what they're going through. That someone else feels and understands their pain. That someone else 'can relate'.

When I go back to my mom's ward, she's sleeping and her husband is sitting beside her. When he sees me he gets up and beckons to me to come and sit so I did. He pats me on my shoulder before leaving the room. If anyone was as conflicted as me apart from my mom, it'll be Pete. Because he wants to do all that he can but his other family (the one he had before marrying my mom) has a hold on at least half of his finances.

It isn't a secret that his children hate us. Something I will never understand since he wasn't with their mom when he met mine. They were never even married, to be honest. So the option of them understanding that his wife needed all he could give at the moment was out. If it was left for them, mom would've died a long time ago... From very unnatural causes.

I heard the rustling of sheets and turned to see that my mom was rousing from her nap.

"You barely even slept." I complain. "I can go out if I'm disturbing you."

"No, sit." She said itching her neck. It was one of the side effects of her treatment. One of the many.

I turned back to her when I felt her palm on my cheek. "I'm sorry for hitting you."

Flushed, I look away, "I'm sorry for making you have to do it."

"Don't suggest something like that again Damian. Don't put your future on the line for me, please. You boys are my top priority."

My jaw ticked, "But you should be your priority mom."

She sighed, "That would be selfish." I was about to talk again when she shushed me, "You may not understand now, maybe when you have kids. Or maybe even sooner, when you find someone whose joy you'll want to put before yours."

I shake my head, "Can you hear yourself? So why won't you let me prioritize you then? Why won't you let me put your joy before mine."

She smiles, but its not because she's amused, "Because you obviously do not know what my joy is."

I'm quiet for a while trying to assimilate what she just said but before I can pose another argument, her phone rang. I glare at it, so as not to glare at her. Why is her phone even switched on? She should be resting at this moment! Maybe it was to spite me but she picked up the call.

For a few seconds, she listened to the person on the other end of the call before she spoke, "Yes I'm Damian's mom. Is there a problem?"

And that's why I'm on my way to school now. After making sure to tell Mr Harry that she had been begging me to go back to school since resumption and that when I go back, he should punish me for being such a 'stubborn child', she bought plane tickets for me and made arrangements for my aunt to pick me up from the airport and drive me to school.

Immediately I saw MIA's gates, my mind began to project images of Ejiro everywhere and I smiled. The only face that could make coming to this place worthwhile. I hadn't thought of what I'd say to her when I see her but did I really need to? Whatever I needed to say would find its way out of my mouth once I open it.

It was cute. Her going through all that trouble to make sure I could apply for the prefectship. I don't remember telling her about it so I'm pretty sure it was Mide. He liked having something to finally tease me about, knowing that I've never been so hung over any girl for all the time that he has known me.

Thankfully, there wasn't a lot of people around since it was time for assembly but still, a handful of people saw me and I knew that that was enough to create a seniordamianisback hash tag. Especially since that little girl who's in the drama club and is obsessed with Ejiro was involved. The girl could talk.

I was done with everything I needed to do at the admin when I came downstairs, not so shocked to see Mide. I grinned and went in for a bro hug. When we pulled apart, I asked him why he was there.

"Heard that you were back." He said before greeting my aunt, who he was just noticing.

"Of course you did." Didn't I say the news would spread quick?

"Glad you finally decided to show up. Your girlfriend was getting impatient."

Why was everyone saying this same thing? I glance back to my aunt to make sure she didn't hear Mide and thankfully she's a safe distance away, talking to the receptionist. I don't mind my mom hearing that I have a girlfriend whether its true or not, but Auntie Nora is one of them typical ones.

"You know we're not dating Mide, I don't want any rumors spreading." I tell him seriously. As appealing as it sounded, I doubt Ejiro would appreciate it if something like that was going round.

"Chill bro. Anyway, how are you going to surprise her?"

I roll my eyes, "Is that necessary?"

"Well, did she know about you coming this morning?"

I narrowed my eyes, "No." I said, intonating the word in a way that made it sound like a question.

Mide palmed his forehead, "Are you dumb? That's enough reason why you should take advantage of the moment."

I laugh, deciding to humor him, "This is how you make that secret relationship of yours work?"

Mide rolled his eyes, a frown marring his face, "Shut up."

I mentally face palmed, remembering that the nature of his relationship was a touchy subject these days, with him tired of keeping it a secret and Amarachi insisting that they wait till next session since her sister would've graduated by then.

So yeah, I felt bad for bringing it up, "Okay fine, tell me your plan." I finally indulge him.

Immediately I said the words, a wide happy grin replaced the frown on his face and he starting to give idea after idea. I really need to get used to doing these cute stuff, especially since this is the first time someone would actually make me see the need to.

The excitement slowly kicked in and I started to think too before coming up with one that just felt right. I wasn't a pro at surprising people or knowing what would work best but I just felt like I should do the one I had in mind. Unlike Mide's ideas, this one wouldn't involve others, it'll be just two of us. I don't know what to expect out of it but I know that Ejiro is the most vocal with me, when there's at least very minimal people around. If she sees me first in class, among other students, she'll probably not want to approach me.

So, I told Mide to find a way to get Ejiro back to the auditorium after assembly the moment it was empty.

I had Auntie Nora drive me to the hostel where I dropped off my luggage hurriedly and hurried back to the car so she could drop me in front of the auditorium. I impatiently listened to the few words of advice she felt she had to bestow as I stood in front of the auditorium. They were pointless, and she knew it but like any other adult, she probably won't feel fulfilled if she didn't say it.

I smiled and waved politely as she drove off and then went straight to the door. You'd expect me to just push open the door. Me too. I expected I'd just push open the door and walk in but I paused. I begun to get nervous. I almost didn't recognize the feeling since I'm mostly confident. I never get this feeling, not before a test, not before a football or basketball game, not while meeting someone new. I worried Mide had not gotten across to her, I worried she was not here.

Then I took a deep breath, exhaled, and pushed it open not expecting to be face to face with non other than my favorite girl. I'm surprised and it appears she is as well, because her hand immediately goes to cup her mouth. The singular action makes me smile. And I don't know how wide I was smiling but I could feel it in my cheeks, and I also did not mind.

When her hand drops, I notice how her eyes sweep over me. Maybe its because its her but I almost feel shy under her gaze. Does she know how intense those eyes of hers could be? I don't mind this either because it gives me the excuse to drink her in as well. I mean, if she did it first, I am allowed to right?

I noticed everything, from the way her braids still looked fresh even to the way she packed it. It was tied up and she let two braids drop at either side of her head to frame her face. I smile when I notice her edges. Ejiro doesn't lay her edges all the time so I get a feeling she put an extra effort into the her dressing today. Not just because of her edges but her lip gloss coated lips which I tried so hard not to linger on, was really telling as well.

When I take in her uniform, I can't help but notice that we're both wearing the armless cardigan today.

I decide to break the silence, "Are you done checking me out?" I ask even though I was doing the exact same thing.

I expect anything but what happened next. Anything else would have been less shocking. The sky falling, the drum set starting to play by its self or if I'm to calm down a little, her blushing and swatting my arm. What I don't expect, is her small arms around me, her head resting on my chest and her sweet scent enveloping me. I don't expect that and I feel my body tense, solidifying my shock.

I wait a few seconds, not sure if I should hug her back. Firstly because I'd rather just feel her heartbeat against mine and than remind her that she's probably making a mistake, thereby causing her to pull away. Also, I don't want her to feel uncomfortable...

But then, she did it first didn't she?

So I stop fighting myself and wrap my hands around her too, and immediately I do, I can't help it, I pull her closer. She doesn't pry us apart, she doesn't tense, and if I'm not mistaken I may have just heard her sigh.

I smile.

And then she says, "You smell yummy."

I nearly choke but I settle on a low chuckle, willing myself to remember that Ejiro is speaking literally and not in the way I think, hidden meanings and all.

You unholy bastard. My subconscious mocks.

"That statement really conflicts my thoughts." I can't help saying mmand I don't miss the small shiver against my arms.

But... There's no way... She's probably just cold.

I finally release her, deciding to voice out what has been going through my mind as I stroke her head just under my chin, "I wonder what I did to make you miss me this much."

She didn't answer that but decided to complain about me possibly messing up her edges instead. I knew it! I knew she put special effort into them and it showed. It looked good and I told her so. But its not until I tell her that she's pretty that she turns red.

"Stop!"

She's so cute!

"Um, how long do I have to disappear next time to get another hug like this?" I ask playfully but I'm serious. I'm not convinced this was going to be a regular occurrence so when she decided to tap my arm in guise of a punch, I pull her in for another hug.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist." I apologize sincerely hoping I have not pushed my luck. I wonder if she can feel how hard my heart is beating.

"You're so precious Ejiro."

Our walk back to class is quiet but its not the uncomfortable kind. A girl I'm pretty sure was my junior passed by us and smiled,

"Are you guys twinning?"

I grinned and was surprised when Ejiro and I said at the exact same time,

"I know, right!"