Life Of Jiji

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©2021 Tena Ifiemi

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beautiful mistakes - maroon 5 & megan thee stallion ♪

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ł ШłSH ÐΛMłΛЛ ÐłÐЛ'Т come to find me in the library cause if he didn't I probably wouldn't have been reminded about class. He got me to be just in time for Literature! If you were recruited to write my biography and you don't include that my worst subject ever is Literature then you don't know me at all.

How can you put your all into writing write a full paged summary and still get three out of ten? How? That's the book, 'The Downsides Of Having To Learn Literature' summed up into one question. Of course not, Karen! It's not a real book. And have I included that my Literature teacher hates me? I came 2 minutes late and she made me stand outside for 15!

Granted, I couldn't even concentrate on whatever she was teaching when she finally let me in. Trust me, I didn't plan to, but I kept wondering how tonight would turn out and what Damian wanted to tell me. What could be happening at home that bothers him so much? Why did we have to meet at the bleachers and wasn't it dangerous? What if we get caught on the way there or on the way back? What if they look for us at prep? Last time, I was supposed to be at the hostel, but what would the girls say if I don't show up to prep?

"Ejiro Irikefe, stand up and explain to  the class how Wuthering Heights is a Gothic fiction."

Of course, Ms Maryjane. I've been waiting for you to pick on me!

•••

Something very unexpected happened today: Kene came to talk to me. It was during Visual arts class. I was concentrating on my abstract work of wild strokes and a weird mixture of colours - it was my last chance to prove to Mr Zaki that painting was not for me - when Kene pulled up a chair beside me before sitting down.

I was really nervous and I didn't know what to do and why he was there. First of all, I've never really had a conversation with Kene, even when it wasn't against 'girl code' to speak to him. I looked around me warily to make sure nobody was looking at us.

"What are you doing here!?" I yelled, while also whispering. Minus that awful night prep which I still regret, I'm sure everyone knows that I would never actually yell at someone.

"I came to talk to you." I waited for him to continue while adding dots at random points of my art work using gold paint. "About Ayo."

"Okay..." I dragged out the last syllable, still not looking at him and hoping he goes straight to the point so the weird encounter would sooner be over and done with.

"Well, I'm sure you know by now, but me and Ayo, we were together for the longest time, okay?"

I realized he was the kind of person who wanted to make sure, at every point of the gist, that the other person was listening to him.

"Okay..."

"Yeah, and I know I fucked up and all but I've said I'm sorry. How can she just move on? I know, I can't. I promised it was the last time and Ch-"

"I'm sure you've made this promise before."

He ignored me, "Chisom came unto me and-"

"You could have said no."

"You don't know this girl. Trust me, Chisom would come unto your boyfriend and there's nothing you would be able to do about it."

"I don't have a boyfriend, Kene."

"Sure." He smirked, which was very weird considering the discussion we were having just now.

"I'm serious."

"Someone crossed your mind just now. Who was it?" He was grinning now and I had to admit that he was quite the fine boy.

I might actually understand why Ayo had been able to look past his annoying cockiness for so long: He was one of those boys who could actually look good on a low cut. But apparently the one who would play with your heart like a kid would his new toy as well. Kene doesn't think he has done anything wrong. He believes that he loves Ayo and that this breakup was just her going through a phase. He thinks he can control her life.

"Kene, why are you here?"

He suddenly sobered up "Oh yeah, Ayo, can you talk to her? Its been like two weeks. She should be over this." He said, voicing out my exact thoughts.

Annoyed, I was about to reply him when the bell went off and Mr Zaki came to look at my canvas.

"Mary, wow... This is good. Sign your name down there and I'll put this up."

I frowned at the fact that he still persisted on calling me Mary just because I played the role and then proceeded to stare at the man like he was insane. Was he blind? Or did he just want to annoy me? He wanted to put up a painting of blue, brown and black strokes with a splatter of gold dots? Zaki left and I grumbled to myself as I signed my name (not Mary). Kene was still seated beside me and just before he left, he whispered in my ear,

"Look, Ayo has cheated on me as much as I have cheated on her. It's not fair for her to play the innocent victim with you guys. Tell her to talk to me."

I sucked in a breath at his closeness and my hands folded into a fist at his words. What exactly was that all about?

•••

Damian really had this night planned out in his head. He even made sure to remind me to wear a black hoodie when I was coming out for dinner tonight. I wonder if he realized that he never took his own back from me the last time. I and Kene's chat still nagged at me and I still haven't told Ayo about it. Was she really telling us only a part of the real story? But if she was, Kene did cheat on her this last time, right?

"I like your hoodie." Amarachi said as we left the hostel for the cafeteria.

Katherine turned to me, "Yeah, It looks so comfy."

I hugged my self, forcing me to inhale the sweet scent, "It is."

I had been about to spray on my own perfume but decided against it on second thought. Didn't want to be ruining the perfection of the absolute scent of this thing. Maybe if I knew how comfy this thing was I wouldn't have left it hanging in my wardrobe all this while. I could fall asleep standing up in this thing!

Khadijah leaned into me, "This isn't your cologne. Smells familiar though." She said with a wink.

I would have said she looked mischievous but then, Khadijah has a resting mischief face if there was ever such a thing.

Dinner hurried past and soon we were moving in groups to class for prep. The plan according to Damian was that we go to class along with everyone else, excuse ourselves to go to the toilet few moments later and then meet up at the corner before bolting. Sounds like fun, right?

The thing is, were we really making plans to go to the basketball court when we're supposed to be reading, for Damian to tell me something he could probably just tell me without risking a meeting with the disciplinary committee?

Apparently, yes.

"You look sus as hell!" Mitchel told me for the umpteenth time in the four minutes since I arrived prep this evening.

"What're you talking about?" I hiss.

"And whose hoodie are you wearing?" He asked, evading my question.

I hugged myself, "It's mine."

"Sure." He smirked, turning back to his book. Looking at him now,  I started to feel a bit guilty. Exams were just around the corner and I was foregoing prep to sneak around with Damian.

"I'm going to the toilet." I say rather loudly to Mitchel nonetheless and he looks at me weirdly.

"I didn't need to know that."

"True."

Damian was waiting exactly where he said he would be and he smiled when he saw me. He was wearing a black cotton sweatshirt over his clothes and I realized we were kinda matching.

"You look scared. Are you scared." His voice floated across to me.

I smiled and shook my head, "No, let's go."

We made small talk on our way there and once a teacher stopped us and asked where we were going. My heart nearly jumped into my mouth but Damian just said that he was taking me to the sick bay. I wondered whether the teacher might call the nurses and find out our bluff and told Damian this. He just laughed, saying I worry to much.

Maybe I do.

Trying not to make any noise, I climbed up the bleachers behind Damian. This was the part where we really needed to be careful because we really shouldn't be here. When we were both seated on the highest row and after a bit of silence, Damian reached over and pulled the hood of the sweater over my head.

My head snapped towards him, "What?"

"You're supposed to be hidden."

I scoffed, "My hair is as black as this hoodie."

"It seems you don't need it then." He says reaching for it. I moved out of his reach, to the seat beside me.

"I'm never giving you back." I said, smugly. "I'm just wearing it for the first time since and I've gotten attached."

He appeared to be thinking, or perhaps monologuing, "You can have it then."

I turned to him, shocked as well as slightly embarrassed, "I was joking! I wasn't..."

"You don't like it?"

"I do but—"

"Shh. Anyways, about what I wanted to tell you..." He paused for effect and even though I wanted to argue with him about the hoodie, I really couldn't now.

"Damian, you really don't need to tell me." I said quickly even if I really wanted to know what seemed to bother him so much.

Damian looked straight at me, his eyes gleaming with some incomprehensible emotion, "But I want to tell someone, Ejiro. Won't you listen to me?"

My lips parted, but I knew I couldn't say anything so I nodded. He leaned back into his seat and exhaled, dragging his fingers from his hair, down his face. I followed the action, he looked stressed and... scared?

"My mom is sick." He said, "Very sick." He said and my heart began in hammer in my chest.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked and hoped that was the right thing to reply with when Damian looked at me.

"Nephritis. It's a Kidney related disease." He said and I couldn't help it when my hand flew to my mouth while I whispered 'oh my God' under my breath.

I might not know about Nephritis in particular but I know that a friend of my parents died of a kidney related disease, a while back. Seeing the look on Damian's face now made me regret my reaction. He looked torn, like I had made him realize all over that his mom's illness is just as bad as it seems. I tried to imagine if it was my mom but I couldn't, didn't want to. If anything happened to my mom, I'd go with her.

"Damian." I called, taking his hand and pulling it to rest on my lap as I gripped it tight, you'd think I was trying to calm myself down, as well as him. "I'm not going to say 'sorry' and I'm not ever going to need to, okay?" I tried to look as positive as possible in the smile I gave him. "That thing that bothers you... It's never going to happen."

"My mom dying?" I gasped at his bluntness and immediately felt tears prickling at the corners of my eyes.

"I said it's not going to happen Damian!" I noticed the raise in my tone about the same time I noticed how shaky I sounded.

Damian moved to the seat next to me and when he pulled me in, I didn't protest and I didn't feel the need to. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered, "Stop imagining your mom dying, Ejiro. That's never going to happen."

I choked on a sob, "Damian, stop it."

"It's hard but I'll get through it. I didn't want to worry you... I just... I just needed to tell someone."

I just hummed into his chest.

"I like you Ejiro." Damian suddenly said and I felt my whole body tense in his arms. "Like, really like you."

I couldn't speak even if I wanted to. He definitely didn't just say what I think he did.

"Like, If my mom dies, you'd be the most important female in my life kind of like"

My breath caught in my chest and I started to feel claustrophobic. That familiar feeling, where I feel like I can't breathe claws at me and I push Damian away. I don't think he just said what I think he did.

He looked at me for a long while, expectant. I guess he wanted me to say something but I couldn't. I held his stare for a while before looking away, It was awfully quiet after that and as if I wasn't already embarrassed, Damian passed me a yellow bandana to wipe my tears with. It scented like fabric softener...  

My heart was beating wildly as I went over what he said over and over again in my head.

Did Damian just say he likes me?

"Sorry for dropping all that heavy stuff on you." Damian finally spoke and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him glance at his watch. "Prep is almost over, you need to go back now."

"What about you?" I asked, even as I continued playing with my hands, my eyes glued to them.

"I'll be right behind you."

But he wasn't.

When I made the awkward journey down the bleachers and looked up, he was still seated there. He had brought out a phone —which definitely shouldn't be in school, but who cares?— and was staring at it, his face glowing from the phone's light. I tried to be as careful as possible on my way back, to make sure I didn't get caught and even if I knew that he wasn't there, I looked back at random intervals.

Damian didn't follow me.

When I got back to class, Mitchel, of course asked me where I went and even though I knew he wouldn't believe me, I told him I went to Khadi's prep room. He eyed me skeptically as I sank into wordless oblivion of my surroundings. It was like I wasn't even there and I forced myself not to think about what just happened but that, apparently, was impossible.

Was he angry? Hurt? He wouldn't normally let me walk back alone especially when I could get into trouble if I got caught, I was sure. Maybe he didn't even mean that he liked me like that. Maybe he was just overwhelmed by how he felt about his mother and said that probably because I heard him out. Maybe he meant that he liked me as a friend.

And how did I feel about that, honestly? I'm wondering whether Khadijah and the rest of my roommates were actually right in all of their teasing.

Kene was right when he said that I thought of someone when he made that comment about a boyfriend I didn't have. Damian might not be my boyfriend but could I have feelings for him that were beyond plain friendship?

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I wasn't going to write an author's note but this chapter was pretty heavy, don't you think?

The exact sort of thing that's quite difficult to write. Gathering ideas and all...

The chapter is still weird to me, though but please make my day by voting and commenting.

You'll probably not see this till I finish writing the next two chapters though... Christmas is coming ☕

!ⓣⓔⓝⓐ !✍🏼