Life Of Jiji

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"VłϾТłMS ФŦ ЯΛPΞ ТΞЛÐ to suffer problems with their mental health. I'm talking things like post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and many others which you might have heard of. During the first weeks of their abuse, they fear that they might have contacted an STI or gotten pregnant. 71% of females raped are really concerned about their relatives finding out that they've been raped and 68% of victims are frightened at the prospect of people outside their family finding out that they've been raped.

"Rape victims within the last five years are more concerned about their image being published in the media than every other rape victim. The thought of it all, terrifies them. That all those people would find out about the horrifying thing that has happened to them. Now you understand why a lot of people keep sexual abuse a secret when it happens to them. Hindering themselves from getting the help they need and also leaving these rapists to go unpunished, most of the time.

"Yes, rape is scary but I want to tell y'all; never be afraid to speak up. Never! Most people say, 'It has happened anyways, so what's the point?' Let me tell you, there is a point. You keeping quiet would do more harm than you can even imagine. Not only to you but to the future victims of these rapists."

That was the rest of Amarachi Nwabueze's speech but since I had passed out, I didn't hear this until a lot later. Apparently, the school had the whole event recorded and the video had been posted on the school's website.

Yes, its true. I was raped. I was raped by my dad's brother when I was 9 years old. The story I'm about to tell now, is one I've relived in my head for the past 6 years. In my dreams at night and random visions as well and it's still as frightening as ever.

We were supposed to travel. All of us; my mom, me, TJ, Reya and my dad. Unfortunately though, I caught an awful sickness the day before and no matter how much we tried to conceal it before we were supposed to leave, we couldn't because they told us at the airport that I couldn't get on the plane.

Mom had to go, it was her dad's 70th birthday and she had to be there so dad said he would stay back with me while my mom, TJ and Reya went for the celebration. I cried and cried but mom is her dad's first daughter and they're really close. She was tempted to cancel on it because of how much I cried but we all knew that won't happen. They finally boarded the plane and dad took me home.

He was really caring and even though I was little, I felt bad that he had to miss the party because of me. It wasn't going to be a one day thing and I knew it was going to be really big. Grandpa is a very big deal apparently. Annoyingly enough, I got better the next day and it seemed like a waste of what I knew was going to be an amazing week. Now I was going to be bored at home with only dad to keep me company.

He tried his best though. We spent most of the time with him teaching me how to play chess. I still can't play chess till this day, but I enjoyed learning. The next day after I got better, dad went out and left me with my neighbor to take care of me. She was a teenager, who spent most of her time on her phone and was probably in the kitchen when Uncle Ovie came in. I was delighted to see him. He was everyone's favorite uncle, especially Reya and the fact that she has part of his name in hers adds to it all.

"Uncle Ovie!" I hailed running into his arms. "It's been long, you don't care about me again."

"Ah ahn, why would you say that?" He said. Uncle Ovie is dad's youngest brother and he's really young. He was about twenty at the time.

"Did you know that I was not feeling well?" I asked pouting. "What did you buy for me?"

Uncle Ovie lifted me and put me on his lap, "I would give you, only if you're a good girl." He said.

I got confused at this point. I didn't know the wickedness that lay behind Uncle Ovie's smile. I didn't know the hidden meaning behind his words.

"Is it a nice gift? Is it a story book?"

"It's not a story book. But its a nice gift. Your dad gives your mom gifts like this all the time." And then he tells me, that I should close my eyes. I did, since I was expecting a gift and then Uncle Ovie committed the ultimate sin.

I had screamed when he drove into me. My eyes shot open and he held my mouth shut, his big hands covering my nose as well and almost suffocating me in the process. I saw the neighbor run in at my scream and when she saw what was going on, she screamed as well but when Uncle Ovie turned to look at her, she must have panicked and fled. I found out later that she was the one that called my dad.

When my dad came I was unconscious. He had taken me to a hospital and when I woke up, I found him crying. I cried as well, because I wasn't daft; I knew what Uncle Ovie had done and also, it hurt down there. I was allowed to go home two days later and dad did not leave the house again. This time, he wasn't teaching me how to play chess, no. The new lesson was on how to keep secrets.

Dad and I now had a secret. I couldn't tell mom or my siblings or anyone else in this world what Uncle Ovie had done. If I did, they would look at me weirdly and treat me different. I noticed that Dad was shaking as he told me. I asked him then if he looked at me weirdly now and if he was going to treat me differently and he began to cry. It's the worst state I've ever seen my dad.

Mom came back and I was scared to meet her. I was scared that she would see right through everything and wouldn't want to be my mom anymore but that wasn't the case. Mom scooped me up and hugged me tight but instead of revelling in her touch like I always do, I started to remember Uncle Ovie's hands all over me, harassing me, suffocating me and then I started to cry. I didn't see dad's face because my face was buried in mom's shoulder... Not that I wanted to see his face though, I knew that he'd be disappointed. He had warned me not to do this.

Mom of course didn't even imagine the actual reason for my tears though. She patted my back and said she was sorry that left me behind and that grandpa wasn't happy that he didn't see me. She said she wished she fought with the people at the airport so I would've followed them. I stopped crying and pulled out of Mom's embrace when dad finally said 'That's enough'

I never allowed mom bathe me again because I was afraid she would notice something. I always told her I was a big girl and could do it myself. I withdrew myself from everyone because I thought they would be able to look deep into my eyes and know that I wasn't like every normal nine year old girl.

It hurt, but I got used to the pain.

Sometimes I got panic attacks which basically feel like your something is squeezing your chest and then you feel like you can't breathe anymore. It's horrifying... and very painful. I didn't know what it was at the time but I didn't tell anyone. I started locking my door all the time when the nightmares started. It's not something I'll want any other child in my shoes to go through.

Some months later, we heard during dinner at the table that uncle Ovie had gone to college in the UK for his masters degree. I felt lighter after that. Literally, like someone had taken off a heavy load from my chest. My nightmares seized even though I still panicked when people came too close to me.

What I didn't expect was to see uncle Ovie again two years later. I was eleven and had even started junior high school. It was during my first mid-term break. Reya and TJ were still in school and my mom and I were in the kitchen getting dinner ready when he just casually strolled in, his usual swagger intact as well as a giant grin which sat comfortably on his bloody rapist face. I took one look at him and fainted, crumpling on the floor.

Mom had screamed, calling dad's name and all. She concluded that I was being starved in school and when I woke up she told me that if I wanted I could still go to the school but as a day student because she's not letting me go to hostel again. The next day, she went to the pharmacy and stocked up on multivitamins and other supplements.

It was at times like this that I wish my mom didn't have such a soft spot for me. I was in Year 7, a freshman. I didn't like to be in boarding school and I was always homesick but at that point I couldn't imagine staying at home, where Uncle Ovie could easily find me. I hated myself for fainting. If I wasn't so weak, this wouldn't have happened.

My mom later let me become a boarding student again at the beginning of Year 8 though. I went to the same school until I found it too suffocating and decided to transfer to a different boarding school. Which is where I am now. On a bed, in the sick bay.

After my embarrassing puking + fainting episode, I woke up to an empty room. I was confused for a second, until the nurse came in and smiled at me. It was the same one that stole my blood the other day, and told me that I had malaria. I wonder what she would say is wrong with me this time.

"Sleeping beauty, you're finally awake." She said as she moved towards me and picked up my hand. That's when I realized that a drip was connected to it.

I opened my mouth, wanting to ask her a few questions, like how long I had been out but my throat felt parched. I don't know how she noticed, but she picked up the cup of water from the table and raised a brow at me. When I nodded, she brought it to my mouth and I took a few sips.

"What time is it?"

I found out that I had been unconscious for four hours which means that the whole school would be having dinner by now. According to Nurse Ella, a lot of my friends had been here but she had to chase them away because of the time. I wondered which 'a lot of my friends' she was talking about.

I had begun to stand up, wincing from the cramps in my leg for how long they had stayed in one position when Reya strolled into the ward. I was so shocked to see her, I had to steady myself with the bed. Maybe she was looking for the nurse. She must have a headache or something of the sort.

"Jiji, thank God you're awake!" She looked tired but somewhere in her eyes and the tone of her voice, I could hear relief... Like she was scared for me. It made me feel happy and at that moment I didn't want to think that I might have just been imagining things. "It's dinner time. Nurse Ella, can I take her?"

Nurse Ella needed to sort a few things out with my drip and write a few things in my file before she let us go. She disconnected me from the fluid thingy that was connected to my wrist but she left the cannula in, which means that I have a dose of injections to take.

The other nurses waved goodbye and told me to get well soon as I left and I wondered if they even knew what they were treating me for.

Reya and I barely talked as we walked to the Cafeteria. She asked how I was and when I replied 'fine', she asked if I knew why I threw up and then fainted (which actually sounds funny). I just told her I didn't know.

"Everyone was worried." She said, but I didn't say anything to that.

Reya walked with me till I got to my table and sat down. I was very thankful for that bit because the way everyone was behaving was making me really nervous. The Year 11 side of the seniors cafeteria had gone quieter and most people were looking at me. Immediately Reya left to go to her seat, Richard turned to me,

"Are you okay? We were all so worried." He said.

"Its true." Khadi concurred, trying to talk with her mouth slightly full. "It's true." She repeated again after she had swallowed.

"We waited so long for you to wake up, four hours Ejiro. I was so scared." Ayo said and Katherine nodded.

More and more people came to our table saying things along those same lines and I couldn't wait for it to end. Soon, they began pestering me to eat and I honestly didn't want to. Richard stood up to get food for me. I rested my head on the table, my head beginning to throb. I didn't even have a headache before but my sympathizers are quite overbearing... I'm sorry if that's insensitive but every one was telling me 'sorry' even Chisom!

I'm not even joking, She came to the table after Richard had brought the food I was forcing myself to eat. "Sorry about what happened to you. You look really bad." And then she walked away. I didn't even reason her, I just nodded.

If I was being honest with myself, I would admit that I was wondering why I hadn't still seen Damian. Usually, he was everywhere when most people weren't but today it was quite the opposite.

I picked on my food till it was time for night prep. I was still in my school uniform while everyone was in their day wear. I had to go to the hostel to freshen up before I could go for night prep... If I would even go for night prep.

Excusing myself after eating—they didn't even let me drop my tray by myself, Ayo did it—I walked outside to go to the hostel. Thankfully, they didn't insist on going with me when I said no the first time. I tried not to be conscious of the people around as I walked alone. After I had bathed I had a mental battle on whether to go for prep or to stay in and rest. The nurse said I could do either depending on how I feel so it won't really be breaking school rules.

I finally decided to stay but three minutes into it and I was throwing on my day wear and exiting the hostel. Normally, I found it soothing to be alone but seeing Uncle Ovie again after so long must have really messed with my head. I didn't take my bag with me because I knew I won't read anyways; I just didn't want to stay alone in the hostel.

I had gotten to the gate and was about to make the turn towards the class when I fell a hand grip mine... The one without the cannula. My heart jumped to my mouth as I spun around.

"Damian! Why did you do that!" I cried immediately I recognized the face. I could hear my heartbeat outside my body. Within those few seconds, I had flashes of 6 years ago and it didn't help that I fainted just four hours ago for same reasons.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said quickly wrapping his arms around his torso. His eyes darted to my wrist and they widened at the plaster, "Did I hurt you?"

I followed his eyes seeing what he was talking about, "No, you grabbed the other hand... You frightened me, that's all."

"How are you? What happened over there?" He started softly before the need to know more overtook him, "Did the nurses tell you what's wrong? Didn't you eat this morning?"

Cautiously, Damian stepped towards me again and with the help of the streetlights, I could see the uncertainty in his eyes as he carefully took my hands in his.

"I'm sorry if I'm being overbearing but Ejiro, you scared me." He whispered and the sound of his voice coupled with the vulnerable look he bore was enough to kindle the dull ache in my chest. "I saw when you ran out and then few minutes later, Ovieya screamed, surpassing even the Speaker's voice..." He dropped my hands trailing off.

It was obvious that Damian was really worried about me and that this was hard for him to say. I understood that he had more to say but couldn't.

"Damian," I whispered, not wanting him to feel awkward but he didn't let me go on.

"Do you know that you're heavy?"

I gasped, "Where you... D-di-did you carry me?"

Damian just smirked. "Ovieya couldn't have done it herself."

I blushed and he picked up my hand tugging me in a different direction from class's.

"Where are you going? Aren't we going to class?" I asked, confused.

"Forget about prep, let's go somewhere. Everyone would think you were in the hostel resting anyways and I'll even get you back on time to play your part."

He looked hopeful, like he was giving a manifesto.

I eyed him skeptically, "But Damian..."

"I don't want to sound like bad influence," He said with a chuckle and I laughed too. "But I know you don't want to stay in that hostel alone and neither do you plan to read this night. Nothings going to happen, let's just go somewhere we can talk... Me and you."

I let the silence drag until I became aware of the insects hovering around,

"Where are we going?" I finally said and Damian grinned.

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Hello everyone,

I'm sorry for taking so long but I wouldn't even advice you to expect another update soon till like the middle of June because of my exams and all.

I have three different important exams to write, one in June, one in July and the last one from August till October.

It is because of this that I'm dropping a double update today!

I think that deserves a round of applause

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

See you in the next chapter !

ʟօʋɛ , tɛռa !