Look out for the <>!

I looked at the Redbox movie selection, unhappy with the choices. I thought there would be better option especially since it was in the hospital. With a sigh, I decided to go for an action movie. With the movie in hand, I walked up the stairs of the hospital and down the halls with fake confidence as I tried to remember his room.

Within minutes, I was able to find it. I looked at the guard standing watch and showed him my badge. He nodded then opened the door, letting me enter the room. I walked into Auggie's room to find him asleep. His brown hair was a mess, some even covering his eyes. He had even started to grow some 5 o'clock stubble. I don't think I've ever seen him with stubble before. With it, he looked more mature. I wondered if he knew that.

As I climbed into the chair beside his bed, I felt the lump of paper in my pocket. I pulled it out and unfolded it. The words on the paper cut me deeper this time as I reread it. Toby was dating me for information, to keep an eye on me. They knew about B26, they wanted to stop him.

I frowned. I tried so hard to be a hard worker and do my job but this would impede all of it. I didn't want to get messed up into this. But somehow B26 chose me, barely 19 year old me. I shook my head, I didn't understand why. No one chose me, ever.

"What is that frown for?" Auggie said softly, making me jump.

I didn't realize he was up. I looked at him with a fake smile as I put the paper back into my pocket. "Nothing you should worry about."

"If it has you worried, I should be worried too."

I shook my head and gave a little laugh. If he knew about this, he would wish I never told him to begin with. "That's not how it works. First you need to get better," I said, using that as an excuse.

He nodded, taking it. Thank goodness. "What time is it?"

I pulled out my phone to check the time. "It's about 1:30."

He adjusted himself in the bed and patted his bed head down. "I must have fallen back to sleep. I did wake up early today," he said and groaned as he woke up more. "I'm sorry if I kept you waiting."

I smiled lightly. That was the least of my problems. "You're fine."

There were a few minutes of silence as we both got stuck in our own thoughts.

"Have you guys found Tobias yet?" Auggie asked with hatred in his voice.

I cringed at the sound of his name. There was so much emotion around it. I rather not hear it. "Can we not talk about that?" I begged. I didn't want to be reminded that I trusted the wrong person. Once again, messing up.

He frowned but nodded. He wanted to know, but he knew when to drop it. "Sure." He was silent for a moment as he grabbed my hand for support. I intertwined my fingers with his and felt the heat from his hand transfer to mine. I didn't want him to let go. "You know, he had us all fooled."

I shook my head. But I was around him the most. He was my boyfriend for months. I knew him. At least I thought I knew him. I was the one that failed, I should have seen this from a mile away.

"Don't beat yourself up," he said and gave my hand a light squeeze.

I frowned at him, unable to hold the tears back in my eyes. "I feel like a failure," I said honestly. And just like that, all my walls and fake confidence that I wore like a crown came crumbling down. No one had see this side of me and in this moment, I didn't care if Auggie saw. I was so tired of all these emotions being hidden, I needed to talk about them to someone.

He frowned as he wiped a tear from my cheek. He looked crushed, just as crushed as I was. "This could have happened to anyone. Just because it happened to you doesn't mean you are a failure."

I shook my head at him. That was where he was wrong. This was just a pinnacle  of my mistakes. "Everyone sees me as a child. They will always see me at 15 year old Annalise, a child to protégées. I will never live past to their shadow that they casted over me."

<>

He was silent for a moment. He knew I was right. Then he spoke up, "you want to know what I see when I look at you?" He lifted up my chin so I would look into his brown eyes. "I see a hardworking, smart, more then capable woman. Everything you set your mind to, you do."

I didn't see that in myself. He had to be lying. I tried to be that person that Auggie saw but most of the time I ended up falling short. "Everyone else sees me as this child, someone that's only here because of my grandmother. Why?"

He smiled lightly as if there was some secret I didn't know. "It's because they're jealous."

I shook my head. He was mistaken. I was a failuar and they were pushing me out to make room for better people. "The thing is, I try not to let it bother me but I hear their whispers when I walk into the room. I know what they are talking about. They're always rumors about me. They are spiteful and ruthless and most of their words are true. But the thing is, I try, I try so hard to be this invincible person to live up to everything, but I can't. Those words hurt. They always do. They hate me but they don't even know me."

He wiped another tear from my face. "You know they are jealous because you're your grandmother's favorite."

I scoffed. Now that was a rich joke.

"I am serious Annalise, and it's not because you're her granddaughter. Let's face it, your grandmother's intimidating and demanding. She puts ranking in front of everything."

As painful as it was to hear that, I was used to it. To her it didn't matter that I was her granddaughter. I was just another person that worked for her. I knew her better then almost anyone, after all she was my grandmother. Work was always first, family came second for her.

"But you're her favorite because you do everything she asks of you and more. Sometimes you spread yourself too thin and mistakes happen. But that's to be expected. You hold yourself to this insane expectation of your grandmother and that's why she favors you. People can see that and they're jealous."

I frowned at him as his words pounced off me like rubber bullets. That wasn't true. My expectations weren't insane. I was about to object but Auggie cut me off.

"You have something that none of those people have."

"Connections?" I asked, which was the truth. I had a slew of them.

He shook his head as if I was dead wrong. "You never give up. Ever. You're willing to keep ramming that stubborn head of yours though a problem until it gets fixed. Others would just give up, but you don't."

I frowned slightly, that wasn't completely true. I was giving up on B26. I saw it as hard and I left them without help. I was a failure, Auggie just couldn't see it yet.

"You sometimes do take a step away from a problem, but later on, you always come back to it. It's in your DNA, you can't let it go. It's something that I love about you," Auggie said with a chuckle.

I blushed. This was the first time I let down my walls to anyone and I was afraid that I would be too much. But instead of running from the conversation, he embraced it. He had to know I had feelings for him, I couldn't let this go. I couldn't let him go.

He smiled slightly and winced. "There you go, there's a smile I wanted," he said and cupped my cheek.

I learned into his hand, his warmth heating me instantly.

He dropped his hand and frowned at the wall. I watched slowly as the heart monitor started to climb up and the beeping grew faster. His breath became hitched and I panicked. "Annalise, can you get a nurse in here?" He begged, pain thick in his voice.

I shot up from my chair and ran into the hall to find someone. I saw a nurse from down the hall and yelled for her to come. Within seconds, I came running back into his room with a nurse on my heals.

She saw him suffering and ran out of the room. A second later, she came in with a needle. She quickly put it into his IV and with that left us alone again.

Minutes ticked by as I watched as his face and body relax. His heart rate become more regulated as his breathing slowed. He sank deeper into the bed, the medication starting to have a strong hold on him.

He cracked his eyes to look at me after a few more minutes had passed. He smiled happily at me, but I couldn't return it. I hated to see him suffering. "You look beautiful," he said and brushed some of my hair from my face.

I shook my head. I didn't feel beautiful. "No, Auggie, you must be confusing that with stressed. I look stressed," I corrected him.

He shook his head slowly as the drugs worked more into his system. "I always find you beautiful," he said with slurred words then drifted off to sleep.

I smiled lightly as I watched him fall to sleep peacefully. I stretched in my chair as I looked at him, suddenly feeling tired myself. I quickly made myself comfortable and let myself drift off as well.

I woke up with a stiff back. I stretched and looked around the room to see that Auggie was still asleep. I looked at the time on my watch and knew that I had to get back home. I looked at the DVD in my purse and frowned, I did want to see it. But knowing I had prepare mentally for a full day of work tomorrow, I knew I had to leave.

I stood up from my chair when my phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the message. It was from one of my coworkers down the hall from me, it was one of those chain texts.

Send this on. Carter the man.

And below that there was a photo of Cater with my shirt. I frowned, now I felt bad for him. But there was a small and shrinking part of me that didn't. I knew that by tomorrow night, the whole department would see this photo. Quickly deciding to be a good friend, I deleted the photo. I laughed lightly which caused Auggie to wake from his drugged slumber. He looked at me with sleepy eyes and asked, "what?" 

I frowned, not meaning to wake him up. But quickly dove into what happened yesterday.

"So you and Carter. Hu?" His smile fading.

I had to convince him that nothing would happen. I still wanted Auggie, I would always want him. "Oh no, he's just a friend and that's all he's going to be."

He smiled at me in silence, happy with my response.

I smiled back at him. He had to like me. I looked at his slightly drugged face knowing that I couldn't talk to him about my feelings just yet. He was not in his right mind, and it was written all over his face. I grabbed my purse again, knowing that it was time to leave.

Auggie frowned at me, knowing what would happen next. "You'll be here tomorrow. Right?"

I nodded. "Of course I will. I'll be here as long as you want me," I said repeating what I said to him yesterday just in case he forgot.