When I woke up the next morning, I expected to be still laying on someone but instead my head was on something less boney. I felt a pillow cradle my head. I pulled a blanket closer to my body and realized that it wasn't there the night before. I pulled the fabric around myself and smiled lightly, feeling safe inside the comfort of the material.

Gunshots echoed through my mind as if they where blowing up my family room. My smile slid off my face and suddenly, it came back to me. Toby, Auggie, the base. Toby stole my heart then crushed it in his hands. And with Auggie's last breath, my soul died. I was never going to be the same. I let out a shaky breath as I tried to keep it together. Carter was the one that brought me home. He was sent by my grandmother to keep an eye on me.

Toby allowed Auggie to die. I was never going to see Auggie again. Emotions hit me like a wall as I remembered Auggie's first day at the CIA instantly.

I was in such a terribly mood as I walked onto my floor. It was my first day back from vacation and I was late. I was going to get an earful from my grandmother about it. In her eyes, it seemed like I could do nothing right.

I looked at my watch for the fifth time as I turned my computer on. I had no time for this. I tapped on the computer impatiently as I waited. When the screen turned on, my phone buzzed and I got it out of my back pocket. "Hello?" I asked into the phone.

"Annalise? Where are you?" Gram said on the other line of the phone.

I popped my head over my cubicle and looked at her through her glass office. I waved to show that I was here. "I'm here," I said into the phone. Hopefully she wouldn't catch that I was late.

<>

She hung up the phone and walked over to me. She had one of those scowls on her face like I seen too many times before. She wasn't in a good mood either.

"On the first floor there's a new employee. Today's his first day and he'll be working in our department. I want you to show him the ropes," she said to me.

I nodded at her even though I wanted to say no. I did not want to deal with any people today, but I couldn't say no to her. "Ok gram, I will," I said.

"His names is August Ross," she said then smiled lightly. She brushed her hand against my cheek. "It's good to have you back."

I smiled lightly, suddenly feeling like I was enough. With one touch my mood melted. That was all I wanted all along. "Ok, I'll look for him,"I said, my mood changing for the better with just that little gesture. I got up from my desk and walked back to the elevator to find this new man.

As I stepped out then looked around the busy lobby, I frowned. I wasn't sure how I was going to find a man who I have never met before. I started walking around the room hoping to find a confused looking guy but in the process, I ran into someone.

I mentally swore as I rubbed my arm from the contact. "Oh I'm sorry," I said with a frown, goodness, couldn't I do anything right?

"No, it was my fault, I wasn't looking where I was going. This place is so big, I've never seen a building like this before," the man said as he picked up his folder from the ground.

"So you're new?" I asked as I looked at the man that looked a little older than myself. His eyes seemed to sparkle with some kind of wonder that I had lost long ago. He smiled lightly at me and for a second it made me believe that everything was right in the world. The CIA hadn't crushed him yet. He had to be new.

"Yeah, my name's August Ross," he said holding out his hand for me to shake it.

I almost dropped my phone and I held in my hand. That was way too easy and nothing was ever easy. "Wait you're August?" I asked him, surprised. I was used to showing older guys around, but he looked like he came right out of high school.

He chuckled at me, clearly amused by this conversation. "Yeah."

I felt my cheeks grow hot, suddenly feeling self conscious. I had to act like I belonged here, and I wasn't even making him believe that. "My boss wanted me to show you around since we will be working in the same department."

"Well, tell her thanks because without you, I wouldn't know what to do," he chuckled again. His laugh came so easily to him, like he had never tasted heart ache or sorrow.  I wanted that life and I felt jealous of whatever he had.

I smiled lightly at him, feeling his personality rub off on me just a little. "Oh, by the way, my name is Annalise Phillips," I said and shook his hand.

"Pleased to meet you, Annalise," August said and dropped his folder again back on the ground making a slapping sound. "Gosh, I just can't hold this, can I?" He smiled. I hadn't seen someone smile so much in my life. It came too easily too him, like it was hardwired into his person.

I bent down and picked it up for him. I handed it to him then brushed my short blonde hair out of my face. "Come follow me, We will be working on the same floor," I said and started walking to the silver elevators.

We walked to the elevator in silence. I watched as he looked around the building with wonder and a little hesitation. I got it, it was a little intimidating to be here, especially since he was young. I understood how he felt. But I could help him fit in. Maybe with a friend I could actually feel like I belonged here.

It wasn't until we were in the elevator when I finally broke the silence. I laughed saying, "You know you can talk if you want." Auggie was a blank canvas waiting to be filled in by the paints of my imagination. I wanted to know if he had was kept up at night with nightmares like me, or if he had a dark past like some people said that I had. I just wanted to know everything about him.

"Oh that's good to know. I was thinking that I couldn't. Everyone else wasn't talking to me so I just thought it was part of the job," he said and laughed with me.

I shook my head. That wasn't it at all, people here were often too caught up in their own world to pay attention to a newbie. That will change soon enough though once he made his mark. I was still waiting for my time for properly shine myself. "They'll come around. So where are you from?"

"South Dakota."

"Wow, far from home."

He shrugged, "Well, I needed a change and this sounded like an adventure."

I frowned as I pulled myself out of my thoughts. All of the moments that were strung together with laughter and smiles were only memories now. There would be no more lunch breaks or jokes about our coworkers. He was gone.

I felt tears run down my face as I pushed myself off the couch. No one would hold me and tell me no to listen to the rumors. No one would make me laugh until I cried. I was on my own again and I couldn't bare it.

I wrapped the blanket around myself then walked in to the kitchen. With a frown I noticed a note on the fridge, held up with a pizza magnet from a local restaurant. It's funny how everything can be the same as I last left it but yet I felt so different. Home would always stay the same but every time I would leave this place, I would change slightly.

I sighed and picked up the note to read it with blurt sleepy eyes.

Annalise,

I'm sorry I couldn't stay for you to wake up. I didn't have the heart to wake you before I had to go into work. But I'll be off at five and I'll make sure to stop by. If you want to call me here is my number, 347-5193. I'll talk to you later.

Carter

I heard my phone ring but instead of picking it up from the table, I just let it ring. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. The voice mail came on instantly and I heard my voice saying, "Hey, I'm not here at the moment like normal but if you leave a short message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

"Annalise?" my Grandmother's voice rang out.

I frowned, as if she was in the room. Worry started to fill my mind. I didn't want to talk to her. She would want a briefing and I would have to retell all the painful memories of yesterday. I was sure she was furious at me, two of her favorite employees were gone and the only one left was me, the undesirable.

She sighed, I could hear pity in her voice and that was all I was going to get. She wouldn't come and take a day to comfort me. That much was clear when she sent Carter. "Annelise, I know you there. We need to talk. Well, just call me back. I love you," she said and hung up.

If I could avoid talking to her the rest of my life, I would. With my appetite gone, left the kitchen and went up stairs to my bed room. I sat on my bed in silence as I let myself swim in the deepness of my emotions.

I looked at my bed stand and saw a photo of me and Toby at the Comic-con. At that point we had been only dating for a few weeks. Everything was so new between us, it was simple and easy. Back then I thought I found the love of my life.

"No," I said and shook my head, feeling frustration hit me. I was not going to think about him. He stabbed me in the back. He used me. Our relationship was never real. Without wasting a moment, I tossed the photo in the trash as if it was tainted with poison.

As I scanned around my room, I realized that it was littered with belongings of his. Rage ran through me as memories flew into my mind like boomerang. All of these items were attached to memories that I wanted to disappear from my mind. I wanted to erase everything about him. Toby was dead to me and he was nothing more then that. I grabbed a handful of his things and tossed them in the trash.

I looked around the room again, trying to find more of Toby's things and I froze when my eyes met another photo. It was with me and Auggie on our first mission together. We were right in front of the Mediterranean Sea . He was standing so close to me in the photo that we looked like a couple. I frowned as I tried fight against the memory but it still wiggled into my mind like a worm.

"We need a picture!" Auggie said as we walked down the rocky beach of the sea.

I looked at him with a small smile. I had been to Greece before, and this beauty, I was used to. But every corner we took, Auggie wanted to take a photo of it. His wonder rubbed off on me and I couldn't help but get excited with every photo we took. "And why?" I asked. At this point in time I had known Auggie for about 6 months. By now we were inseparable as a team and friends.

He rolled his eyes at me, as if I didn't get it. "To commemorate our first mission together," he said as he pulled out his phone.

I nodded, he had been so busy taking photos of things, this was the first time he wanted to take a photo of us. "Ok," I said and put my arm around his waist and brought him closer to me.

He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me even closer. Close enough to make me blush slightly. Over this mission, I couldn't help but start develop feelings for him. But Auggie was dating someone and I couldn't jeopardize that for him. Instead, I shut my mouth and played the best friend card.

He quickly snapped the photo and looked at it with a smile. "Oh that's cute," he said as I looked at the photo with him.

I looked at his red cheeks in the photo with a frown. "I told you that you should have worn sun screen," I said to him as I brushed his hot cheeks.

He shook his head so I couldn't touch them. "It will tan, I promise you," he said and smiled.

I nodded, believing his words. "Well, we have to go to our stake out," I said looking at my watch with a frown. Time to do what we were set here to do in the first place.

"Yeah, I guess we do," he said and sighed, he didn't want to go back to work either.

I got up from my bed replaced this photo to the nightstand. After all these memories I had with him, all my emotions and his, as I stepped back and looked at all my memories, I realized that we never developed feelings for anyone else. We were both falling for each other and we would try to date others, to prove to ourselves that we could be happy, but looking back at it now, it was clear that we weren't. We never would be unless we were together.

I missed my chance and now it was too late. I couldn't help it as tears started to fall on my bed. I wanted him back, I wanted to tell him how much he meant to me but I couldn't.