I have just realized something about myself; I can read peoples' emotions like a children's first book. Remember how I have said that only Emily and Charlotte are my two only real friends at school? Well, it is because they are the only people in the whole school who show genuine friendliness and happiness when they look at me. Everybody else who are my 'friends' all show the same thing; annoyance and forced happiness. Even if they try to hide that they are annoyed with me, I am still able to tell. I feel the emotions crackle and bubble and fester inside of people even before I look at them. I feel peoples' hatred and fear as they enter the same room as me, as they yell out, "Aw..." These people are not very good at hiding their emotions from someone as 'strange' or 'creepy' as me. But I am not these things. Sure, these are side-effects of what I am, but insanity is not avoidable when you can physically feel the emotions of people around you. If you do not believe me on this, then allow me to describe what each emotion feels to me when I sense it from other people. I will only be listing the most prominent emotions though, like happiness and hatred among others.

Happiness
True happiness feels like a pleasantly warm feeling, like sitting beside a fire and feeling the gentle heat waves wash over your body. I can not help but smile when around happy people, their joy is too contagious.

Hatred
Hatred could be one of two things for me. It could either come in hot, burning waves or cold, intruding needles. When around people with a heated hatred, it feels like I am being burned alive. The heat is so strong and uncomfortable for me. The cold hatred is more like the feeling of being watched, the goosebumps that cover your skin, the instinct to find the source of the discomfort. It make me all of these things.

Sadness
Sadness is like a pain through my heart. It feels like I can not breathe while someone is stabbing my chest. I feel a cold longing for joy to come this way and a great emptiness.

Fear
Fear is something like a cold breeze blowing past on a warm night, chilling to the bone and hair-raising.

Worry
Worry is similar to fear and cold hatred combined. It is like a cold, unexpected breeze in an already cold and windless area. Afraid of what will happen but angry that it could happen.

Resentment
Resentment feels like a giant shove away, like I am not allowed near that person any longer. It feels like the world is falling from under my feet.

So, now that you have seen what I feel around other people, what do you think it is like for me in a room of over twenty people with the same thoughts and feelings towards me?

"No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be faded
To telling only lies
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free"