The future isn’t so far anymore, and it was foolish for me to think these years would go on for ever. It was foolish of me for wishing them to end.

Now the future casts a shadow over me, and it is how I am defined. Not by the sound of fingers on a keyboard, or words that pour from my mouth. Those days were young, now they’re dead and it’s a tragedy. Now all they talk to me about is my future and its not good enough to say ‘I don’t know.’ ‘I’m not sure.’ ‘I’m scared.’

I can’t tell them that, if I did I’m already a failure. I’ve tried so hard not to be.

I’m not scared, I’ll say to myself while my hands shake and my heart hammers into my ribs. I’m not scared.

The future is upon me, and it’s essence is more frightening then staring into death’s own eyes.