*******A/N*******
I am writing about this so I can remember the event, not to get pity out of anyone, or to impress with a story. All I'm writing for is my own sanity.

Where do I begin?? Actually, I know, I'll start with this: this guy's music has not just brought me and my BFF together, but he's also saved my life. Recently I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts; admittedly, I've been struggling with some for practical my whole life, but recently is when it's gotten really bad. You see, I have many different chronic and invisible illnesses, so I am very aware that I am different, and my brain likes to remind me of it. Last Sunday, (September 27th, 2015) I was sitting in church when out of the blue, I start thinking things like:

'I don't belong here, then again I don't belong anywhere. I've never fit inside a box, even with the ways my body fails. Would it really be all that bad if I got up and left? Nobody would actually miss me if I did.'
Essentially this was on repeat, and I eventually walked out to regain composure. I walked into an empty conference room and promptly started to cry for forty-five minutes, with these thoughts dominating my head. I was on the verge of hurting myself, I'm still not quite sure why, it was just an urge, but there were two things keeping me from losing it completely. One, I wrote 'i am loved' over and over again on a piece of paper, until it was entirely filled up, and two, for some reason I knew that if I could just make it to Monday night when the concert was, I could make it through any horrid day. It took me almost an hour, but I finally was able to focus on something else. The thoughts were still there, but they weren't at the forefront anymore. Monday was coming quickly, yet not fast enough.

During school on Monday, all me and my BFF could talk and think about was the concert. We even might have slightly disputed one of our classes because of a sudden fangirl outburst. Overall the day went nicely, I skipped my last class to get to the venue early, and luckily the concert finally came. It was funny, one of the opening acts talked about going through hard times, and sang about it as well. This made me tear up with what happened the previous day, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened in Tyler's set.

I cried a total of five times during the set. The first time came when Tyler began talking about his struggles with an addiction to drinking. He recounted what happened (I won't completely disclose what he said, my friend recorded it and it turned out to be ten and a half minutes of him practically rambling.) What he talked about and the way he was so open about it to a group of complete strangers were the things that made me cry. Something just related with me. Call it what you will, date, destiny, a horse....

Sorry, couldn't resist the Tangled reference there.

Anyway, it resonated with me, that's the point. After every show Tyler sticks around to talk with fans and sign stuff. Needless to say my BFF and I had spent way too much money on t-shirts and the like, so we wanted everything signed. As we waited, I told her what happened, and asked that if the inevitable happened and I couldn't stop crying long enough to tell Tyler, could she please tell him for me. Well guess what? I cried, I cried buckets. So my BFF told him and he knelt down in front of me. (I should clarify, I was in my wheelchair so everyone was much taller than me.) We talked a little about what was going on, and I noticed that there were tears in his eyes. Actual, genuine tears. We hugged, I cried, I laughed at my crying, I cried some more, we hugged again. I'm not really sure in what order though, it was a bit of a blur. What wasn't a blur was what happened after. I asked him to sign the back of my sketchbook, as I am an artist and it's somewhat of a therapy for me to draw. He said yes bit asked if he could look through it first. I of course, agreed; when he looked through I apologized because there wasn't really anything in there, I had just gotten it. But there was one picture, one anime picture I had given up on because the hair color got messed up on it. When he asked me if I had drawn it and I said yes, he complimented it then said that he wanted to know where I ended up in five years. He said that I had a gift and I needed to use it because I could make a unique impact on the world. Then he made me pinkie promise that next year, when he came back to Texas on tour, that I'd bring the sketchbook back filled with art. I never thought something like this would happen, not to me. It's something similar to what I dreamed in my craziest dreams, but never even thigh that it would legitimately happen. These last few days have been extra tough, I'm still having a lot of intrusive thoughts. my doctor thinks it's a side effect from medicine, but the medicine is one that works and there aren't any alternatives as I'm allergic to the other usual possibilities. I have an insanely rough road ahead, but I also have something to fight for. I made a promise to Tyler about the sketchbook, and there's no way I'm about to let myself do anything to prevent me from achieving it. To me, I think this happened so I wouldn't go off the deep end. My want to keep promises surpasses any negative thought I might have. Every morning I play Tyler's song "better" to remind me of the happiness of that night, as well as the hope for a better tomorrow. Not to mention to get my fix until the next concert. ;)