uhhhh hi?

yeah, i don't even know where to start but um, yeah as the title says i'm a disappointment.

it has been over 2 months since i last updated and i'm honestly a piece of shit for leaving you guys like that. i've been neglecting this book for god knows how long and you guys obviously deserve some type of reasoning on why it's always taking me so long on updating.

and i'm done apologizing cause at this point it's ridiculous and you guys are probably through with it too lol (i'm laughing through my pain)

anyways, here's the 3 reasons why i haven't been writing.

1: i made Sumire a bitch in this story
okay so during the time i was thinking of a plot or whatever for this story, i was also reading a lot of borusara fanfics to try and get some ideas and inspo. during that time i began to see a lot of people make Sumire the "bad girl" so me, being influenced by it, decided to make her the bad girl as well.

big mistake.

as time went on i was like "damn, did i really have to make Sumire this bitchy character just to develop my story? i could've used so many other alternatives" of course i wasn't thinking about this at the time i was writing the first 5 chapters of this story, all my mind was thinking about was a new and fresh story focused on my (at that time) #1 ship.

as i look back i felt really bad cause she's such a sweet character and i made her this cliched bitch that she could never be. plus the ending of this story that i made up involves some drama with her going down so yeah, it seems i'm just gonna have to write that out the best i can.

sorry to any Sumire lovers, my stupid 14 year old self was really immature and tarnished her whole character for the sake of my ship 💔.

2: (this is a really idiotic reason and i don't even know why i feel this way but it still influences me from not writing)
my writing compared to others sucks.

😐

yep, stupid reason amirite?

okay before i get all the comments saying "omigosh don't say that your writing is so good and it doesn't suck." yeah, it does. let's be real here.

i know as a writer you shouldn't compare yourself to other authors but it's hard not to. i look at the writing style in books of my favorite wattpaders/authors (not saying who they are cause i'm already embarrassed enough by writing this and i'm pretty sure they know who they are 🙃) whatever you call it and i'm like "wow, they can really use descriptive words to bring out the scene and/or action" and then i get discouraged because i look back at mines and it looks so basic compared to theirs.

again, stupid reason but i'll try to get over it.

3: i've just lost interest in the Boruto series.

i didn't wanna admit this at all because if i admit it, it officially means it's true but i had to come out with it sometime.

but yeah i've lost interest in it. sad case but it is what it is.

i don't know why but it doesn't seem that appealing to me anymore and i'm thinking its cause of the fillers but who am i to talk since Naruto was basically the king of filler episodes-

i think the real reason why i was like into it in the first place was because i couldn't live with the fact that Naruto ended and i wanted something similar to it to fill that part of my heart. but then about around january i accepted that it was over and Boruto(although it's basically the same) won't have those iconic ass moments that had everybody shook lmao.

maybe i'll come back to it sometime in the future but for now i'm just gonna drift off from it.

buttttt i literally have a 9 COMPLETED chapters from a completely different story in my drafts that's been collecting dust for like the past 7 months now and i really rEALLY wanna publish it cause in my opinion it's better than this story. don't know when i'll publish that but even though i kinda have one foot out of the Boruto fandom at this point, i'll try to finish it and publish it for your and my sake ☺️❣️.

(and cause i have like 3 stories in my drafts and i don't want it to keep piling up lol)

uhm, yeah, that's basically all. thanks for coming to my very depressing-but-relieving- ted talk. it is currently 5:12 in the morning and i am in need of big ol nap sooo SEE YA!!

- Kayla ♡