My breath quavers as I stare at the ring on my finger, it looks so beautiful, it's a dream come true. My cloudy days are finally over, my self loathing days are long gone, I'm going to be married to the man of my dreams.

Flashback

It was a scorching hot afternoon, I was in my dorm by my desk thinking about how I was going to be a Princeton college graduate in a matter of weeks. Everything I ever dreamed of, I could finally bring to reality, everything was perfect except for the one I called my boyfriend.

Now that's one thing I should've done differently, I was intelligent, yet naive because I was in love, I craved for my happily ever after so much that I was going to tolerate anything to achieve it, if only I knew better then, I wouldn't have all this pent up emotions in me, I wish I could turn back the hands of time, I would've done things a little differently.

I had sent him a text breaking up with him because I found out he was a drug dealer, that explained his violent behavior when we quarrel, he ends up laying his hands on me, I sustained bruises every time we fight, he brainwashed me to make me believe he did it because he was in love with me and as naive as I was I believed him.

I was so dumb, I never knew I was dating a criminal, a night he rushed in to hide from the cops in my dorm room, I was confused on why he was hiding from the police I and demanded an explanation, seconds after a cop came knocking on my door asking for a certain person on a picture he showed me and if he was seen around, it was my boyfriend on that picture, I covered him up and lied to the policeman.

I was a student on scholarship, my relationship with him could cost me my scholarship and the last thing I was ever going to put on the line was my education, it was the only thing I valued more than my relationship, so I had to put an end to it by sending him that break up text.

It was that afternoon he showed up in my dorm room by surprise, yelling on top of his voice, I tried to calm him down but I only made it worse, he grabbed me by my shoulders, pressing his sharp fingernails against my skin, I begged him to leave me alone that he was hurting me but he didn't listen, he threw me across my room, I fell on the floor and hit my head against the wall, I was so scared I screamed for help but no one showed up, then I remembered everyone probably went to the frat house party at the beach.

I was all alone and if I didn't defend myself, he will probably kill me before anyone comes to my rescue, as he tried to hurt me again, I struggled and pushed him so hard, he slipped and slammed his head on the floor and all of a sudden he couldn't move, his eyes were blank, staring up at the ceiling, I tried waking him up but he wasn't responding, I checked his pulse and I couldn't feel a thing.

Freddie was lying dead in my room, I accidentally killed someone, I cried bitterly, I didn't mean to kill him, I just wanted to defend myself, now he's dead, I didn't know what next to do, I felt my world crashing down on me, I couldn't report to the police because I was scared they will investigate and find out we were lovers and I'll definitely be in trouble.

So I wrapped him in a tarp, rented a truck and smuggled his body out of the building in the middle of the night and dumped his body in a forest, miles from my school, I made sure there were to traces leading to me, so I changed the clothes we was wearing initially because my fingerprints were probably on them.

Weeks later they found his body and since they knew he was a drug dealer, they thought it was one of those things that happens to people to that gets involved with dangerous businesses, I wasn't a suspect, that relieved me a little but I was still traumatized.

For nights I had nightmares about the dreadful event, the only person I told was my was my best friend and she told me I did what I had to do, I never thought I was going to be sane ever in my life, everyone sees me and envies me but know nothing about what I've been through, that night haunts me till this very moment.