"Lying is done with words, and also with silence." ― Adrienne Rich

Jagruthi

"How about that girl there? She looks pretty. Do you like her?" I asked Karthik, looking at the girl passing through us on our way to the Dean's office.

"Janu! Stop fixing me up. I don't want a girl in my life now." He said not even sparing her a glance.

I've been trying to setup Karthik with a girl but he keeps dodging everyone. As far as the intel I gathered he did like a girl when he first came in and something happened she left the college, and ever since my cousin here is being all heartbroken.

"What about Manju? She is nice, I can vouch for that. Do you like her?"

"REALLY Janu! Manjula, she will kill you and me for even thinking that. " He exclaimed in shock.

That's true, Manju is gonna kill me for even having that thought.

"I can't set you up with Nidhi because of Sammy and Kaju has a crush on Randhir Bhaiyya, I am desperate, what do you want me to do? You pick a girl, I'll talk to her for you." I said walking backwards facing him.

"I told you clearly Janu. I just don't want to be in a relationship right now." He said seriously and I knew that was his ultimatum and I can't change anything.

"Fine! But you have to get my blessings if you ever like a girl. I should be best friends with her and we are going to gang up and tease you." I pouted at him.

"As you say precious, you will be the first one to know. And What about you? Do you have any guys you like or some crushes other than the people on TV?" He asked looking at my face for an answer.

"Pfft..Me..crush..No way. You said no boys remember. Why would I have a crush? and what is a crush nothing but a mere attraction or infatuation." I rambled away all the words in a squeaky voice.

God! Why is he giving me that look? Did I get caught?

You are so doomed, give him the name too or do you want me to spell it.

D E V A..

Shut up, and pray to god that we don't get caught.

"Karthik, Dean is ready for you."The office clerk interrupted before Karthik could say something.

Whew! That was close.

I wish you got caught, I wanted to see how Karthik reacts.

You and me are the same  person, stop acting like jerk.

I held my head and sat by the nearest chair. His office is more like a suite, with a lounging area and receptionist by the door, very fancy. Hmmm.... may be I should become a Dean.

Last week it was an Iron man, the week before a FBI Agent and the week before it was a chef, pianist.

I should really have a goal in life, If anyone asks me what I am going be in the future I don't have an answer for it. My goals are based on the shows and movies I watch.

Is it mandatory to have an aim in life?

Is there anyone in this world without any idea what to do next?

What am I gonna do after this college? Do I sit at home? Will I do something?

I was so involved in the thoughts that I couldn't see another person sitting beside me until I saw a hand moving before my eyes.

"Hi, Devansh!" I said adjusting myself to face him.

"What are you doing here? Are you in trouble?" He asked me with a worried look on his face.

Aww! He is worried about me.

He does look cute with that worried look on his face.

How does his hair look so bouncy and smooth all the time?

Cute, he is not cute. He is a triple H, not the WWE fighter. HHH means hot, handsome and a hunk, his eyes, his lips and his hair. Man! he looks dreamy.

Okay! Now this is getting creepy.

Is it wrong to have a crush on your nemesis's boyfriend?

I hope not, because that would be devastating. I guess there is no rule book when it comes to liking or loving someone because Krishna loved Radha when he already had Rukmini in his life, and there are so many celebrity crushes of mine that are literally married with kids.

Devansh snapped his fingers before my face making me realize, I was literally gawking at his face and I immediately looked away feeling embarrassed.

Good Job, creep! Freak him out just like that and he won't even talk to you next time.

"I'm sorry! I was thinking and I kinds went along with my thoughts. And the answer to your question, I am not in trouble. I am just waiting for Karthik. Why are you here?" I asked him back after regaining my senses.

He looked impaled at Karthik's name. Is he scared of him? Doesn't he like Karthik?

"Oh! I am here to talk to the Dean about some personal matter." He said pushing his hair back.

Keep your eyes away from him pervert.

"Nice! How's life?" I asked chewing my lips not knowing what to do keep my mind away from him.

Really how's life?

"It's going great, How are you doing? Did you have any other episodes after the exam day?" He went straight to the point.

"Nope! You weren't there to help me get through them, so I didn't get any."

What the heck is wrong with you today? You are literally flirting with him and he is someone's boyfriend.

"I am gonna shut up my mouth, before I say some more stupid words. God! I am so dumb. I am making an idiot out of myself, think before you talk Janu! Ignore my previous answer and I would like to give a new one" I said slamming my head and he just laughed at me.

Not a courtesy laugh or making fun of you laugh, a real laugh from the heart. The sound of his laugh just tugged my heart and made it warm like a baked potato with melting butter on it.

"You are amusing and cute." He said ruffling my hair like I was a pet, making me gruff at him.

"Don't touch my hair." I warned him shoving his hand away.

"Is that your pet peeve?" He said bringing his hand up to my hair while I kept shooing him away.

"Devansh! Don't you dare." I gave him a stinky eye to scare him off but he just tried to mess with my hair more which is making my braid fall apart.

My hand immediately went into his head and messed his hair from left to right and top to bottom. His hair is really soft, yeah super soft. I wonder what shampoo he uses for his hair.

You are literally using this chance fully to your advantage of touching his hair, creep!

I so am, HE HE

He kept staring at me, he didn't even shove me away. He stare made me feel stupid at my actions and I pulled them back.

"Thanks for the massage." He said with a smirk looking at my face.

"You are such a jerk." I said to him, hugged my backpack for some comfort not knowing what to do next.

"I'm sorry! I promise to never mess up your hair." He said holding his ears, looking cute as ever.

Don't! Don't even think about pulling his cheeks. You already did so much damage today.

Can anyone in the world resist this cute face?

" It's okay but don't repeat it! The problem is the after mess. Do you how hard it is to braid my hair, all the stupid pieces slipping out off my grip? And my hands hurt every single I do it. I hate braiding my hair and that's why I don't like when anyone touches it. I would love to get a short or a pixie bob but my papa hates short hair on me. He says I look good with hair flowing on my shoulders." I rammed out all worthless information again.

Why do I talk to him so much when I am around him? I feel comfort with him and I don't know how he brings out the real me?

That's called hallucination, and you just get overexcited and talk like a freaking lunatic.

"You father is right! " He said and placed my loosened falling out braid to the front.

"Do you want me to braid your hair for you?" He asked with so much enthusiasm in his eyes, that it reminded me of my papa and mama.

Every time when mama has a stressful day, papa gives her a good hair massage and braids her hair while we all sit, talk and laugh together. Ah! the happy memories.

"You know how to and you are willing to do it for me?" I asked him and he nodded.

"Okay!" I  said turned around facing the wall, while Devansh stood behind me and started doing his job.

It's such a gushy feeling when your crush talks to you, but when he is happily behind you helping you set your hair, it feels like I could explode in any second.

All the cells in my body are jumping up and down in excitement and the smile on my face is refusing to leave me.

"There you go, done!" He said and placed my beautifully braided hair carefully down.

That was quick, I wish I had a really long hair.It's not everyday my crush can braid it for me.

I have to google how many does can you stay without washing and brushing my hair.

You will reek like a garbage dumpsite and no one will ever sit beside you.

"Thank you!" I whispered looking at myself on the glass wall. He did a really great job.

Why is he so nice? He makes me rethink all my decisions about his girlfriend. I have to get my mind off him and leave this place immediately, he makes me feel all weird things and I don't want to anymore.

"What's taking him so long? Being a student body president is the worst job ever." I groaned in frustration looking at the door to which Devansh chuckled.

"Am I amusing you?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"No! It's just refreshing to see you talk out loud like a child. Are you prepared for the finals next month?" He defended himself and questioned me changing the topic.

"We still have a month and I just need to pass. I don't need to be a topper like you Mister-I-have-to-excel-at-everything." I sniped at his question.

I don't know why I ramble a lot and feel comfortable around him, even though we talked to each other very less in this past year, I've gotta stop doing it and I know that's not gonna do me any good.

Get a hold of yourself Janu!

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to offend you with the exams." He said taken back by my comments on his grades.

"I have to be the topper, it's not an option for me. I can help you study if you want. I mostly use mnemonic devices to remember stuff, they make studying easy and fun...." He continued explaining but my ears ignored his words and all my senses just concentrated on his face and movements.

How can one be so excited about studies?

His eyes lit up like a freaking Diwali and July 4th combined, they show that he is truly happy and passionate about education and it warms my heart to know that. His excitement gave me butterflies, I don't why but I want him to be happy like that forever.

He is a pure nerd, the only thing missing are the thick rimmed glass. He would look cute in glasses too.

What's your obsession with putting glasses on him?

I just think he would look super hot in them.

"Janu! Let's go." I heard Karthik say making me peel my eyes away from Devansh.

Why did he come so fast? I got up from the chair with my backpack to leave but my heart and body wanted to stay here with him forever, listen to him talk.

Karthik walked to me and wrapped his hand around my shoulders, stupidly overprotective thing to do, I tried to slip away but he held me tight.

Devansh's eyes were on the hands on my shoulders and trust me he didn't look happy.

"Hi, Devansh! Is everything okay?" Karthik questioned him.

"Yeah bhaiyya(brother). Just stopped by to talk to the Dean." Devansh replied.

"Oh! Did she chew your brains out? I am sorry about her, She can't sit alone without talking to herself or others." Kar asked him making me gape at his stupid words.

Talking to yourself is not a bad thing, and that's what happens when you don't have anyone to talk to in your life except for your family.

I do talk to myself, so does everyone right?

"Really Kar! I am gonna slap in your face. You want me to tell everyone your annoying habits. And I didn't eat your brain, right Devansh?" I nudged Devansh who just kept staring at us without any moment.

I love the way I feel when he looks at me, those eyes makes me wanna believe my self.

"No, she didn't. We were just talking about exams." He said with a smile looking away from me.

"Did she pay you to say that? Janu never talks about studies or exams. All she talks about is food, food and her Netflix shows... This top floor is shallow.." Karthik asked back embarrassing me by tapping on my head.

Did he have tell him about me being dumb and did he just mess my beautiful hair Devansh did?

I am going to kill him

"Now shut that stupid mouth before I make you. Don't believe him Devansh, I do talk about exams and I have a good GPA." I stomped on Karthik's foot and pinched his hand to keep him quiet.

Devansh hissed in pain and a loud laughter erupted from Karthik's mouth.

Yeah! I stomped on Devansh's feet who was wearing flip flops with my freaking man feet which a had a huge block called shoes.

Did I have to go all King Kong?

I am gonna kill myself now. I really have a problem differentiating left and right in my brain and I should get treated.

"I am really sorry Devansh! I didn't mean to do that. I am so sorry. Let's go to the nurse." I told him seeing his white feet was all red with my shoe marks on it.

"It's nothing Jagruthi, I am fine." He said out loud but I knew he was hurting on the inside.

"Devansh, the Dean is waiting for you." The receptionist told him before I could apologize again.

Devansh mumbled a bye and started walking limping his foot, leaving me feel like a jerk.

I am just a disaster, Thank God! he has a polished girl like Sahastra.

Are you really thankful Creep?

No, I am not but I just crushed his leg..

"Do you like him Janu?" Karthik asked me as I was sulking at my actions.

I am screwed, what should I say?

"He is nice to me, he helped me out twice when he didn't have to. Obviously I do like him. Who doesn't? " I said to Karthik and myself for the first time.

"He is a nice guy, but remember what Uncle J told you and me." He said reminding me of the rules my papa gave me to join this college.

"I know the "No boys rule" and he has a girlfriend that too Sahastra." I told him with a sad sigh as we walked back together to my hostel.

Devansh is the person I shouldn't wish for, he is someone I can never get. I wish my life was easier and I had the courage to ask for what I want.

"Bye, Janu..Don't worry, I won't tell uncle about your first crush."  He winked and left me baffled.

That went well, He didn't react badly and it does feel good to share it with him. My mom already knows about my crush, so does Karthik and my papa is the only one in the dark.

It's always an awesome feeling when your crush does something unexpected for you right?

Do you guys have a crush story? Writing this chapter reminded me of my awful crush story .

Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Don't forget to vote and comment.

Love
Sneha