I'm lying to make you feel better. See? Sometimes lying is awesome.
~Michael Schur

Devansh

"Devansh, What are you doing here? I've been looking all over the campus for you." Aarthav whispered making me turn away from my book Restoration Agriculture.

Aarthav is my first friend here. I met him when I was getting ragged on my first day and the greatest coincidence of all is he is my roommate along with Samrat and Charan.

Aarthav is what people call a play boy, but he is not. He just flirts with all the girls, He knows his limits and doesn't cross them. It's just he is a loud mouth and comes across as rude.

"Just catching up on some stuff for class tomorrow and found this book on permaculture which got me hooked." I told him.

I love to learn new things, when ever I am free or bored I come into the library and read and expand my knowledge and English language.

I never studied in English Medium schools, and a small town like ours didn't have a school where we were taught English. But 2 years ago our government made English as a part of the curriculum for the entire state. That was a really hard transition for us, I hated the change and was about to give up completely but our English teacher told me

"You do what you can for as long as you can, and when you finally can't, you do the next best thing. You back up but you don't give up."

And those words etched my heart. I didn't give up, I worked hard and got a full scholarship at MIM University.

"You are already the topper of our grade, top cricketer and Mr. Fresher of this year. What more do you need man? " He said settling on the chair beside me making me feel proud of the person I've become.

In our town the main means of life is farming. I always thought I would be a farmer like my father who started farming after retiring from the army but my mother was very persistent about me going to school and I am glad I listened to her.

"We don't have any cricket matches this week. And there is something I have to tell you." He said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What is it?" I asked looking at his tensed face.

"You know that Sahastra has a crush on you right? She is planning to ask you out tomorrow." Aarthav let it out in one breath.

"I know but I'm not interested in a relationship. That's not what I want in life. I want to build things which will help my village and make farming easier. I already have too much on my plate right now." I told him sternly.

He banged his head with his hand at my words and said.

"I get it, but love and fun are part of life too. I'm not asking you to give up on your dreams. Just give it try. You know the girl she's been through so much already."

"Enjoy man, Live a little. It's not every day one of the prettiest girl in the college asks you out." He said winking at me.

Sahastra was the Ms. Fresh face of the year, everyone says she is the prettiest one but not for me.

"Fine, I will think about it." I said giving up  because I know he won't let me go until I cave in.

"MANJU, Why in the world would you come to a library? Next time when you need your stupid assignment paper get it yourself. I'm lost here and I can't find you anywhere. Where in the fudge are you? And why is this library so big?"

We heard a loud voice making us turn our heads and earn a loud SSSHHHHH from the librarian.

I turned and found her for the first in a library, she is the one who makes my heart jump in excitement every time I look at her. She makes my eyes look for her every time I pass through her class and do things I've never dreamt of doing before.

Her beautiful smile is like a music to my ears. Tears in her hazel brown eyes feel like a burden to my heart. She is around 5.5 and she always has a smile on her face, that's the best thing about her. 

Did I tell you that her smile is contagious?

You can't help yourself from smiling back at her. They say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, she looks more beautiful and pretty than all other girls in the world to me.

I was so crazy for her attention on me that I even started to talking to Sahastra and her minions, just to get her talk to me.

"Ahh! Here comes the Queen Jagruthi." Aarthav commented looking at her earning a glare from me.

Yes, that her is Jagruthi, who looks embarrassed, at all the attention she gained and sat down on the floor covering her face with the nearest book. I smiled at her at her childish actions, which always warm my heart.

"What? She hurt Sahastra and made for days remember." Aarthav told me reminding me of their fight.

Somewhere in my heart, I knew that she was not the kind of person Sahastra portrayed her to be, because she saw me, a grown ass boy crying with his mother and never spoke about it.

The three times I spoke to her, she never ceased to amaze with her words and actions. She knows how to put a smile on people's face.

"We don't know her side of the story." I said to him and looked at her again.

She looked at me for a mere second with her beautifully almond shaped eyes not covered in any kind of make up but it hurt that she turned her eyes away from me like she would contract an infection just for looking at me.

Her friend Manjula came by and sat beside her laughing like a maniac looking at Jagruthi holding the book upside down covering her face.

Manjula is another first ranker along with me. She just glares at all the people in school. I don't of it's her face or if she doesn't like people. Manjula's emotions are only visible when she is by Jagruthi's side.

"Wow! I never knew Angry Nerd  could laugh." Aarthav said looking at Manjula.

That's his nickname for Manjula and Queen is nickname for Jagruthi.

"Take this stupid paper and show me the way out. I can't believe I came into a stupid library for you. Stop laughing at me." Jagruthi hissed shoving the paper at laughing Manjula, which made her laugh out loud.

"Sorry! Sit with me. I'll help you for the chemistry lab viva tomorrow." Manjula said holding her laughter.

"No thanks! I have a 7.2 GPA for my first semester. And Nidhi, Sammy and Kaju are waiting for me downstairs, we are going out for some Pani-Puri." She said licking her lips, looking like a hungry child imagining food.

Isn't she cute?

"Queen has a sucky grade like me, good for her." Aarthav chipped in making me annoyed.

"You should stop being mean to her. She never harmed you." I said to him with my eyes still on Jagruthi who's walking away from me.

"Why are you supporting her? Do I have to remind you ever single time that she badmouthed Sahastra your future girlfriend." He said quoting the last part.

Sahastra and Jagruthi were really close friends for the the first month. They used to come to school together, sit together but after our first cricket match something happened. Sahastra came to me and Aarthav crying the next day.

She said that Karthik bhaiyya bullied her when they were volunteering and apparently Jagruthi sided with him, yelled at her and called her bad things. Soon the news of their fight spread like a wild fire and every hated Jagruthi for hurting a nice girl like Sahastra.

After that fight between them, I lost her. She stopped talking to me completely, I tried to talk to her but she always found ways to escape from my sight. I don't know what I did but she avoids me like a plague.

I hate that, she is avoiding me when I didn't do anything. I want to be her friend or close to her in some way or other and I really don't know why or how.

"I know. But I still think we shouldn't judge people like that." I said packing my bags.

"Tell that to Karan and his friends who got expelled for 2 weeks after she fell down after the exam ."

I remember that day, they deserve to be expelled. Aarthav was waiting for me outside the exam hall. I submitted my paper and was walking out the door, when I saw Karan and his friends making fun of Jagruthi.

She was smiling at another girl Nidhi. In the meantime Sharath, a friend of Karan's put his leg infront of her making her fall down on her face. She hit her head on the sharp edge making her hiss in pain.

Nidhi and Samrat ran to her before I could and she was bleeding badly. She had the same look on her face from the equipment room and the fresher's party. She kept sweating profusely and I knew she was having another episode.

I ran to her along with Aarthav to help but Samrat yelled at us making me take a step back.

"Get away from her. You guys did enough by humiliating her, she doesn't need your help." He screamed in anger.

It hurt me that day looking at her helpless in that state. She was bleeding, shivering and crying out Mama just like the other day before anyone could react to Samrat she passed out this time with blood trickling down her eyes.

I wanted to be the one to hold her, not Samrat. Looking her like that hurts me, I had this gut clenching pain and there was no end to it.

"Sam, carry her to the Nurses office. She is not waking up." Nidhi said and he lifted the lifeless Jagruthi in his arms and ran.

"She got another guard now." Karan snided with an evil laugh making me furious this time.

I looked at Sahastra hoping she would control his friends. She looks sad, Maybe she is feeling bad for her friend.

"Why did you do that?" I asker Sharath in front of everyone.

He looks shocked by my question and moved back and hit the railing. I was infuriated at myself, for all the worst kind of people here who hurt her when she is nothing but nice.

"I didn't do it on purpose man! Anyway she deserves it." He said gulping in fear.

His words took my anger to the peak, I fisted my hand and was ready to punch him, but Aarthav came by my side and pulled me back. I hated myself in that moment, no one deserves that, and mostly not her.

I left every one and ran to the Nurses office and found Karthik bhaiyya standing outside looking furious. She has people who can stand up for her and I feel guilty for not being there for her.

I went out for some alone time and went back to hostel around 9 only to find that Karan and all his friends who made her fall got expelled from college for 2 weeks.

Everyone thinks Karthik Bhaiyya made it happen using his privileges as student body president.

He is a 3rd year Mechanical Engineer, no one dares to cross him. He saved us from getting ragged. I've seen his love for Jagruthi that day. She is the only girl in the whole college Karthik Bhaiyya talks to personally.

I think that's another reason Jagruthi got bullied way more, no one knew how to hurt Karthik bhaiyya and vented it out on her. After the expulsion every one left her alone scared of the consequences of troubling her.

Jagruthi stopped talking every one in her class or the whole grade. She runs a mile away from all the guys. But, I never stopped looking at her. She looks happier these days. Kajal, Nidhi, Manjula are her best friends who made her happy.

I hope this semester ends soon. So, Aarthav, Jagruthi and me will have same class next 3 years and just the thought of being with her the whole day excites me. I could literally watch her the whole day.

"Dude! What are you looking at? Let's go." Aarthav said and we walked away.

We went back to the hostel, I have a few more friends other than Aarthav. Charan, Harsha and Arvind, they are in the cricket team like me.

Cricket is another passion of my life, I'm more of an all-rounder. And I love bowling more than batting. If I had the opportunity I would love to play for my country.

We had our dinner and went to our room, Samrat was on his bed talking to his friends. He has his own set of friends, and I am not in there.

I lied on the bed, fidgeting with myself at the thought of what to say to Sahastra when she asks me out.

I don't feel anything for her, she is just another girl to me. She might be pretty, classy and stylish but she is not fresh, natural and normal like Jagruthi. Sahastra's smile seems forced and fake unlike Jagruthi's which is natural.

Why I'm comparing them?

it's not like Jagruthi is asking me out tomorrow.

With Karthik bhaiyya in the picture, I don't have a shot at her? He is way more handsome and always there for her like a savior. I can't protect her like he does.

What is their relationship? Why do they always stay close? Why does he talk to her out of all people in the world? I know that they are related but how?

Why do I care about her?

I shouldn't, she is not my main priority, I can't deviate myself from my goals and future. I promise myself to never think about her, but seeing her happy today made me warm on the inside. Okay! promise starts from now.

I slept at night and as usual attended the classes accordingly.

"Ms. Radha's class doesn't have a teacher for this period, so we will joining both classes. Please pack your bags and move to the Conference room H." Rakesh sir announced coming into the class.

Guess what? God hates me.

Last night I promised myself that I wouldn't think about Jagruthi right. I was doing great until now, just when the school was about to end, One last period ruined everything.

When you don't want something god shoves it right back in your face. I cursed my luck and walked into the room along with Charan and Aarthav.

My eyes immediately looked for her as I walked to the door, There she is in the first row, sitting beside Manjula, who has her nose inside some book like always.

Jagruthi is looking at the door with so much excitement and looks like she is waiting for someone.

Is she looking for me? As soon as our eyes met she immediately turned away.

Why would she look for you dumb, I bet she doesn't even remember your name now, my brain said to me and it felt like a punch in the gut.

I felt someone push me from behind making me move froward and it is Kajal.

Jagruthi shrieked in excitement as she saw Kajal's face. Kajal ran to them and they kept talking to each other as I walked to the back of the room.

"Why are you sulking?" Aarthav asked me as we settled in the last row.

"I am not." I said immediately before he could catch my lie with my eyes still on her happy face.

"Your Sahastra is looking at you." Charan said making me look away from Jagruthi.

"She is not mine." I said to him curtly and looked at Sahastra.

She waved at me and I waved back and all the girls beside her giggled.

"Deeksha is looking good today, May be I can ask her out." Aarthav said to me and I saw him winking at Deeksha.

He is never going to change is he? I turned my head to the teacher rolling my eyes at Aarthav and concentrated on the lecture.

I planned to walk out of the class immediately because I knew if I stayed out late Sahastra would ask me out and I don't have an answer for her. The bell rung and Rakesh sir was about to leave the room, so I stood up to follow him and run away from this situation,

"Devansh." Sahastra yelled my name infront of the whole class when I was about to walk away.

All the guys howled and cheered at me, making weird sounds which made her blush. Did the whole world know she was gonna ask me out?

"I have to ask you something." She said coming towards me from her friends.

Everyone in the room are looking at us like there is an interesting movie going on. How do I get myself out of this pickle?

I looked at Aarthav to help me instead he pushed me towards her. Please ask me anything in the world but not the one you planned to. I prayed to god but everything went in vain as soon as she opened her mouth.

"Will you come out on a date with me tomorrow?" Sahastra asked and lowered her head feeling shy.

As soon as she asked the question, my eyes looked at Jagruthi like a quick reflex. She isn't even looking at us like every one else in the class. She and her friends are packing their bags.

Please, look at me and tell me this is not right, tell me that you do feel the same pull between us.

I saw Jagruthi, Kajal and Manjula walk out of the room which just broke me. It hurt that she didn't care enough for me to spare a glance, and here I am desperately waiting for her.

She doesn't want me. She doesn't care. She doesn't feel the same way about me.

Charan nudged me looking at Sahastra for an answer pulling me out of my pity party.

What will I lose if I say no? Nothing right. If everything goes right, I would have the prettiest girl in our grade as my girlfriend. If I say no she would feel humiliated.

let's wing it.

"Sure why not, I will pick you up at 10 on Saturday." I told her and she jumped into my arms hugging me which didn't even feel right for a millisecond.

The whole room cheered , hooted and clapped for us. I hope I made a right decision.

"Some people don't even have the minimum courtesy to be happy for others." Deeksha said looking at them leaving.

"Don't worry about them darling, May be you should concentrate on the hot package infront of you." Aarthav smirked and made her blush.

God Aarthav and his flirting makes me cringe sometimes. This guys is never going to change.

So, how was Devansh's POV?

Do you like him? Does he feel like a normal living guy or just the imaginary kind.

Anyways Do things like this happen to you? Like when promise yourself at night but end up doing it anyway.

Every night I promise myself to quit sugars and then the next day it's like god shoves all the sugars in the world into my face in some way or the other making me break my promise.

Don't forget to vote and comment.

Love,
Sneha