-Him-

I stood in the house we once shared. I looked around the living room. She had managed to seep into every single room in the house and no matter how many times I tried to purge my life of her she was still around.

It has been an entire year without her in my arms. An entire year. I had fucked up so bad that my band went on hiatus, I became an alcoholic, and lost the most amazing person you could ever stumble upon.

I had proposed on our living room couch with coffee mugs in our hands as we had just woken up and our hair still messy from our love fest that went on all night. She was only wearing a pair of black panties and my grey sweater.

With a blanket wrapped around us I popped the question. I had searched for the perfect ring for months. Brought my band mates on the search and even her brother. Nothing was good enough.

The ring now just sat on the mantle above the fireplace. Untouched for an entire year unless the maids needed to dust. It sat there staring at me. Mocking me of my mistakes.

I turn to see the dining room table. Yes we had sex on that table but before that we ate meals at that table with friends and family. We played poker, 20 questions, and rummy at that table. Together.

The kitchen was her domain. She loved baking and would try anything new that caught her eye on Pinterest. It's another reason I only eat out now. I can't bear to cook in there.

I don't sleep in our room. I haven't even been in there for almost the whole year. I moved out all my clothes. Some of her stuff was in there still. Clothes, letters, about 100 of her books, and her notes to me. She left me notes all the time and left them around the house. I saved all of them.

I needed to get out of this house. I needed to be around people.

That's where I found myself at the club with my bandmates. Something was off. They kept looking towards the bar and when I finally turned I saw her.

Her eyes looked happy. Happy without me. She must have just gotten off of work. Her torn jeans and band t-shirt made my heart warm. She never needed to dress up to look amazing.

I hadn't seen her in a year. She looked so different yet so familiar. She had gained weight and her thighs were thicker. I loved her thighs. I loved everything about her. Then I looked into her eyes.

Fuck.

I'm the one intruding so I slowly stood up as she dropped the glasses full of drink. I knew one of them was a cherry coke. She didn't drink. She refused.

The glasses hit the ground and they shattered everywhere.

I moved closer to her and reached out my hand. She shook her head and ran. I stared at the spot where she was at. She was so close. I almost touched her. I was in the same building as her and it hurt more then I thought it would to see her again.

"Go after her you idiot." One of the guys behind me yelled. I didn't even look back to see who told me that. I just knew I needed to get to her. I ran out the front door only to hear the bodyguard yelling after her.

I saw her car and a shadow inside. She was just sitting inside of it and I walked closer to see her bent over the wheel just sobbing. I did this.

Again.

I made her cry.

I stood outside the passenger door and just stared. I was clueless on what to do next. I only knew that I was so close to her. I could reach out and grab her.

After about 5 minutes of standing outside her passenger door window I knocked. She let out a small scream and looked up at me. Her make up was smeared on her face but she looked so beautiful.

She visibly sighed and her shoulders sagged. She looked me over and slowly got out of the car.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were here-" I started but she interrupted me by raising her hand and shaking her head at me.

After a short silence and her trying to get her breathing under control I grabbed her and held her close to my chest.

I didn't know what else to do. My body just reacted to her crying.

Lucky for me though....she didn't pull away. She just wrapped her arms around me and I held her.

Like I should have when we fought. When I yelled. When I lost my temper.

I should have never ran away. I should have always stayed and held her.

I still needed her. I went to rehab and I got better all in the name of love. All for her. I needed her in my life like I needed air or food. I was slowly going crazy without her.

"I can't believe you are here." She said in a small voice.

"Well we wouldn't be able to avoid each other forever. We have the same friends. I'm surprised it lasted this long." I said chuckling at the end.

She smiled against my chest. Holy fuck I missed her smile.

"How are you?" She asked.

"I've been better love, but tonight has been the most eventful night I have had in a while. How have you been? No one would tell me anything so I'm literally clueless to anything about you except that you were still breathing." I said squeezing her tighter.

She laughed. That laugh made me warm inside and I sighed happily.

"Ummmm. Ok I guess. It's been hard. I'm not the same. I'm just here." She whispered honestly, "And after everything I still feel like I can tell you anything." She said.

"Like a shell of your former self?" I asked and she nodded.

"Same love. Same." I murmured

A gentle silence enveloped the both of us as I still held her.

"Hey do you wanna go get a coffee?" I ask.

"Sure." She answered wiping her face. I ran my thumbs down her cheeks wiping away her tears and mascara.

"Still the most beautiful thing in the world." I whispered.

She snorted and whispered, "Flirt."

"Only for you." I whispered as I wrap my arms around her shoulders and kissed her head.