Will my wonders come to an end?

Beomgyu Choi died in the hospital 3 days after Soobin's last visit. He succumbed to high counts of liver enzymes, which destroyed his liver cells, and his heart stopped beating at 4:39am. He was alone, and they didn't find him until 5am.

Soobin goes to visit him that morning, and he doesn't get past the unit doors when he sees Beomgyu's mother and father crying with a nurse in the waiting area. Soobin's heart immediately falls into his stomach, a sinking, crushing feeling weighing down on him. He can't breathe. He doesn't need to speak to any doctor or nurse to understand what's happened. Soobin had imagined this day before, shamefully, but he realized then, no amount of imagining this occurrence would better prepare him for when it actually happened.

Soobin hears Beomgyu's mom crying from the opposite end of the doors that separate Soobin and the unit. He doesn't hesitate to walk up to the doors, pounding on the glass, rattling the door's handle to try and open it. It's locked like always, but Soobin yanks on the handle and kicks at the door, until the nurse finally lets Soobin in, but immediately puts her hands on his shoulders.

"Can I see him? Please, I need to see him, I have to, I have to see him—"

"Who are you here for, hon? I can't let you see anyone like this," the nurse explains.

"Beomgyu, Beomgyu Choi, I need to see Beomgyu."

She shakes her head. Beomgyu's mother walks over to Soobin, wrapping an arm around him.

"Beomgyu died this morning," she says between sharp, short breaths. She starts crying harder. Soobin closes his eyes as the breath is knocked out of his lungs. He falls to the floor, reaching over to the garbage can sitting against the wall, vomiting into it as he tries to catch his breath. The nurse kneels down and rubs his back, and a few more nurses come, one of them supplying him with a towel, another bringing a box of tissues.

"Can we get you water? I'm so sorry," the nurse says. Soobin starts crying, then. He feels a pain grow in his chest as he lets out a strong sob. He grabs onto the arm of the chair next to him. The nurse rubs his back as he cries. Beomgyu's mother soon joins, wiping the tears from his face.

"Can...Can I see him, please? I just want to see him," Soobin sobs. The nurse purses her lips, and Beomgyu's mother sighs.

"They took him already, honey," she says. Soobin brings his hands to his face to subdue his cries as he realizes, he's really gone. Soobin doesn't get to say goodbye. His hands shake as Beomgyu's mother helps him back up on his feet. Soobin starts to speak, but nothing that comes out makes any sense, his voice mutters a jumble of nos and gods and pleases, until he goes quiet, and all he can say under his breath is Beomgyu, Beomgyu, Beomgyu.

Beomgyu.

Beomgyu who ceases to exist in that moment. Beomgyu, who would never again kiss Soobin, touch Soobin, look at Soobin with stars in his eyes, never sing or write songs again. There is no more Beomgyu. All that is left of him are memories and the little wonders of him.