Why did he lie?

They admit Beomgyu into the hospital that week. Soobin goes to see him every day, and it's hard, for Beomgyu doesn't seem to improve at all over the time he's in there. Soobin still doesn't know what's wrong with him, but he figures he's just coming down from his cold still, and nearly drowning didn't help his recovery.

It's been a week since Beomgyu was admitted, and Soobin is sitting next to the bed where he rests, and he watches whatever series the hospital has on their TV. He looks like he's hurting. There are tubes connecting him to the machines next to the bed, along with a nasal catheter, and an obnoxious beep comes from the vital monitor with each beat of his heart.

"Do you know when you can leave?" Soobin asks Beomgyu, grabbing his attention again. He slowly turns his head to look at Soobin.

"No. Hopefully by the weekend." He pulls the covers over his body more, getting comfortable beneath the sheets. "You should head home. You've been here every day."

Soobin stands up so he can sit on the bed, putting an arm over Beomgyu, brushing the brown locks of hair behind his ear.

"I need to know you're okay."

Beomgyu looks the opposite direction from Soobin, letting out a short breath. Soobin grabs his hands and holds it. His fingers are cold and dry beneath Soobin's, and he turns his head towards Soobin again and smiles small. He glances at their hands, and suddenly, his expression drops. He's sad again. Soobin wonders why.

"So you saved my life. Gave me CPR," Beomgyu notes. Soobin smiles and nods.

"I did," Soobin answers. Beomgyu chuckles.

"How was it? Kissing me," he asks, and Soobin rolls his eyes, shoving Beomgyu's shoulder gently. Beomgyu smacks his hand lightly, and Soobin shakes his head.

"It was disgusting." Soobin purses his lips and Beomgyu frowns. Soobin's heart skips a beat, for he looks so cute with his pouty face. Soobin wants to actually kiss him, but he doesn't know if Beomgyu would really reciprocate. "And it wasn't a kiss. I was trying to save you."

Beomgyu's frown fades, and he looks at his lap, then up at Soobin, then back at his lap again. "You should try and save me again."

Soobin smirks, and doesn't catch himself leaning down to kiss Beomgyu; Beomgyu grabs Soobin's face, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. Soobin shivers under his touch, the feeling electric; like he was sending his energy through Soobin right through his fingertips.

"But you're not dying anymore," Soobin whispers, his lips just inches away from Beomgyu's. The tips of their noses touch, and Beomgyu moves his hands from Soobin's face to his shoulders. Beomgyu's smile fades.

"I am."

Soobin chuckles, cupping Beomgyu's face in his hands. "Shut up."

Beomgyu looks at Soobin's eyes as his hands fall from Soobin's shoulders. "I am. I'm dying."

As if on cue, the doctor bursts through the door, and Soobin quickly pulls away from Beomgyu. Beomgyu looks at Soobin with a certain gaze, and Soobin's heart feels heavy. He stands from the bed, and Beomgyu reaches for Soobin's hand.

"Nice to see you again, Beomgyu," the doctor greets. He looks at themachines standing next to the bed, examining the different vitals being shown. "Are you feeling any better?"

Silence grows in the room once Beomgyu answers no. The doctor doesn't seem surprised at all. Soobin looks at Beomgyu, his eyebrows furrowed, lip quivering.

"Well, it seems things have gotten worse since your last visit. You've been taking all your medications and doing treatments, right?" The doctor shows great concern in the conversation. The look on his face is a mixture of worrisome and angry. Meanwhile, Soobin's completely confused. He feels the need to leave the room, so he starts towards the door, until Beomgyu calls for him. He turns around.

"Would you like to be alone? I can come back," the doctor asks awkwardly. Soobin shakes his head, leaving the room. Beomgyu calls for Soobin again. He reluctantly turns back, and the look on his face breaks Soobin's heart. He looks at Soobin with a look that reads, I need you, and Soobin feels his heart sink into his stomach.

Soobin stands next to him, and the doctor eventually exits the room. Beomgyu sits up, grabbing Soobin's hand, looking at him with sorry eyes.

"I have cystic fibrosis. It's why I moved here—to participate in a clinical trial. I'm not going to school, I'm living in this hospital to do the trial."

Soobin sits down on the bed, looking ahead at the floor. The air seems to leave his lungs, and he struggles to catch his breath.

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" he asks, voice barely audible. Beomgyu looks at Soobin, and there are tears in his eyes. He tugs on Soobin's hand, and he looks away as he feels tears welling up too quickly to hold back. "You should have told me."

Beomgyu bites his lip, wrapping an arm around Soobin's waist.

"I'm sorry," Beomgyu says. "I just wanted to be more than this. More than my illness. I wanted to feel like a person to you," he explains before pausing. "I've never felt the way I have with you."

Soobin looks at Beomgyu, and he smiles, but Soobin can't smile back. "You're more than just a person to me," Soobin assures him. "But you should have told me."

"I'm sorry," Beomgyu stresses. "Before, I never let myself fall for anyone. But I couldn't not fall for you."

Soobin sighs. Before he can process it, Beomgyu's face is just inches from Soobin's, holding the elder's face in his hands. Soobin brings his body closer to his, leaning into his space. Soobin thinks, finally, he's going to kiss him. But he's wrong. He just sits there, breathing Soobin in. Soobin leans in closer, but Beomgyu just pulls farther back. Soobin sighs as he stands.

An uncomfortable stillness envelopes the room. He wipes his eyes as Beomgyu watches Soobin closely. Soobin breathes in deep, then grabs Beomgyu's hand.

"I think I should go home," he says softly. "I'll come back tomorrow."

Beomgyu nods. "I think that'd be good. Just get some rest."

Once Soobin reaches his car, he sits there for several moments, then, all at once, he lets it all go; he cries hard, loud, and violently. As he thinks about BEogmyu laying in that uncomfortable bed, trying his hardest to simply take a breath, tears fall from his eyes and the beating in his chest speeds up. Before he can allow himself to get any angrier or upset, Soobin drives off, going fast through the roads back to home. He sits in his car again once he reaches his abode, staring at the garage door in front of him. He starts to wonder.

Should I fall out of love?

Can I fall out of love?

Why did he lie?