Mason didn't know how long he had wept for, but Vanessa's warmth formed a bubble that allowed him to cry without a second thought. She rubbed his back and whispered her comfort, but he couldn't recall what she had said. The smooth leather of the booth was beneath him, suggesting that they had moved, and when he finally pulled away, he refused to meet the brown eyes now likely marred with sorrow.

"What happened?" She asked, pulling out some tissues from the metal dispenser as he sniffled, suddenly feeling overwhelmed in humiliation. Mason hadn't cried like this since Haneul had passed away, and it was difficult for him to find the words that instigated his apology.

"My mum," He sighed, wiping away his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie, "she erm, there was an accident at the garage, and she crushed her hand. The operation went well, but she needs help.Vanessa...I don't know what I'm going to do,"

"She'll get the help she needs," Vanessa acknowledged, "and what's more important is that you know you can get through this hurt...I know it hasn't been easy for you,"

"I'm a failure, Vanessa," He labelled himself with a small, defeated sigh. It wasn't a thought but a fact. "I've quit racing, and I...I can't sing...it feels wrong,"

"You just need to find your feet again; it'll come. You've gone through something traumatic; you shouldn't expect that things will feel normal straight away...it takes time."

Those words could inspire hope but what belief could be spurred from a lost soul with a stone heart? Still, the Sinclair's were all he had left; he could only nod and whisper his thanks as she offered a final squeeze.

"let's dry those tears, okay, have some lunch, and you can take the night off?" Vanessa offered, and he immediately shook his head.

"I'd prefer to work," The plea was evident in his tone, and thankfully Vanessa nodded her understanding, her eyes now glazed with compassion as she smiled. Despite the encouragement and kindness, Mason didn't believe a word of what she'd said, and he remained silent, praying the mother didn't pry any further.

"Alright then, the lunch rush is about to start, so help yourself to some food- I think Spencer's bread will be out of the oven in just a few," The homely smell of freshly baked bread filled the room as the door swung open and Spencer appeared, his smile wide.

It was the quietest the diner had been for a while, but being only 3 pm, it was likely the crowd was about to pick up.

"We had requests for you last night," Spencer revealed, placing a hand on his wife's shoulder as he smiled. Mason hadn't provided much information as to why he had left early, just that there was an emergency, and as lovely as his boss was, he wasn't in the mood to provide the details. "Is everything okay?"

"It's getting there," He simply summarised, moving to his feet as Vanessa shuffled out of the booth. "Mind if I help myself to some soup, the bread smells heavenly?"

"It's fresh out of the oven; help yourself," Spencer permitted with a nod. A silent discussion was being discussed between the pair as Mason headed into the kitchen, but he chose not to dawdle, pulling out a bowl from the cupboard. Tonight, Spencer had made his favourite- carrot and coriander, and Mason leaned against the counter, filling his stomach to the brim, the fresh bread melting against his tongue. It was his first meal in at least 18 hours.

The bell announced the arrival of diners, and Mason placed his dishes into the washer before claiming his apron and joining Vanessa at the front. His role was simple; collect orders, pour drinks and deliver meals, and he thrived in the mundaneness of the task, making small talk with customers only when necessary.
Mia was sleeping in the staff room, and her cries called Vanessa away just as the diner reached peak capacity.

Once more, Mason welcomed the distraction, ensuring all of the customers were satisfied with their meals, and the hours flew by. His phone had buzzed several times, suggesting that there was news for him to receive, and it was almost 6 pm by the time he checked the messages.

Several were from his mother, a contact he hadn't expected, and Anya had expressed her concern, but neither woman fathomed enough energy from him to reply. Lucas also hadn't messaged, and that only hurt him more as his heart panged.

Lucas and Mason had never fallen out. Despite their differences in personality and busy schedules, there had never been a moment of contention, and if a dispute had occurred, they knew how to deal with it. Lucas had never been the sort of person to have demanded his attention and had he just asked why he hadn't turned up; then there would be no argument to be had.
What irked Mason further was that it was petty. When he recalled the catalyst and the sea of confusion that a portion of his brain was drowning in, he threw the rag onto the counter in frustration, digging his strength into the beaten wood, as he swiped away the cup rings left by previous customers, who had only wanted a drink.

"Time to go, Mason," Vanessa announced, holding Mia in her arms as she neared him. He stared at the little girl across the counter, and when she reached out her arms, he was quick to claim her, feeling calmed by her embrace.

"I can work till late," Mason insisted, as the co-owner raised a brow. "Or, at least let me look after Mia for a little while; we can have some fun," He tickled the little girl's belly, and she squirmed with a giggle as Vanessa released a small sigh.

"It's her bedtime; she should have been asleep an hour ago,"

"Then I'll put her down," Mason decided, moving with Mia around the counter and towards the staffroom where her playpen and cot that Louise used when she worked awaited. He didn't want Vanessa to tell him to go home again.

Sitting on the cushioned blanket, he used the mirrors and spinny toys to amuse Mia, and when she began to yawn, he placed her in the cot before moving to warm the powdered milk mixture he'd prepared. Looking after Mia had always felt natural to him, and he had watched Louise, her husband Leon, and his bosses enough times to know the drill.

He hadn't expected Mia to start crying by the time he had returned, but he was quick to pick her up and soothe her, resting Mia on his hip before awkwardly angling her so that she lay in his arms so he could feed her the bottle.
Seating himself on the mat once more, he patted her tiny body as he listened to her drink, leaning his head back until he shut his eyes and found himself comforted by the silence that enveloped him as Mia finally fell asleep.

***
Mason awoke to a strange feeling of numbness that had seemingly taken over his body, and when he blinked, he realised that he was still in the staff room. His arms were empty, and that was when he recalled Vanessa waking him earlier when she came to claim Mia, and it explained the blanket now covering most of his torso and legs.

A stiff groan expelled from his lips, but he forced himself to stand and stretch before he picked up the blanket and folded it onto the desk. The restaurant was busy based on the bustle currently occurring in the kitchen, and he saw Spencer guiding Nathaniel with instructions as he seasoned the dishes on his tray. Most of the burners were running and holding pots and pans of various sizes, and when he stepped in to offer his assistance, his order was clear.

"Go home, Mase,"
Spencer also added his thanks for putting Mia to bed and that he needed a good night's sleep before offering some breakfast. The tone however insisted that he was not permitted work. Mason could only bob his head, wave goodbye, and collect his jacket before unlocking his car to leave.

Only, there was no place for him to go, Lucas wasn't talking to him, and going home risked seeing his father on the off chance that he needed new clothes or chose to sleep in his own bed. The cliff reminded him too much of his brother, and Mason didn't want to think of Haneul. Not when he had decided to abandon his career.
Even sitting in the car felt suffocating, and without a second thought, he departed the vehicle, locking it behind him as he began to walk without a destination in mind.

The rains began to fall, and the water felt cool against his skin as he leaned his head back and felt each drop leave their imprint, the saltiness coating his tongue as he sucked in the murky air. The skies were a mixture of greys and whites, each cloud slightly different, and though Mason was no artist, here, standing in the middle of the road, he chose to appreciate every single colour. An 18-year-old without any ambition, or hopes for what the future could hold, had time for what he previously considered a meaningless activity.

Mason walked for miles, and he knew his internal thoughts were not an exaggeration as his trainers began to sink into the mud as he recognised the field. Despite his apprehensions of thinking his brother, it seemed that his heart had a mind of its own, and he passed through the gravestones without needing to check the names. The path to his brother was like an innate pull, and when he saw the grey headstone that was void of flowers and fresh offerings, he kneeled, ignoring the rainwater and mud that immediately soaked his joggers.

His right arm remained outstretched as his fingertips made contact with the cold rock, but he scrunched his eyes shut, mentally transmitting the events of the last few days. "I can't do it anymore," He whispered aloud, and it was then he felt the phantom touch of his brother's hand.

"I'm sorry," He added, and his jump was physical as he received a response.

"What are you sorry for?" She asked, and when he turned over his shoulder, he saw Anya staring back at him. The raven-haired girl stepped slightly closer so that his umbrella sheltered him, and though he knew he was crying, he couldn't wipe the tears away.

"What are you doing here?" He asked as she looked over her shoulder, highlighting her aunt and uncle standing almost eight rows away.

"We came to see Sameer; we usually come most Sundays...I messaged you like a million times; where have you been?"

"I...it's nothing," He shook his head, finding it challenging to express the truth, as tension bracketed her sweet mouth. What Mason would do to kiss those lips was a feeling he hadn't expected, but he stood and stepped back, ducking out of the shelter of her umbrella as concern deepened into her expression.

"Lucas said something was up," She added as he scoffed.

"Lucas shouldn't have said anything," He bit back, feeling immediate guilt as she revealed her hurt.

"He was just worried about you; I was worried about you!"

"Yeah, well, you don't need to be,"

"Of course I do," She laughed humourlessly, "I love you,"

Mason didn't have a comeback for her words, and instead, he shook his head, allowing his anger to blossom as he conveyed the words he should never have uttered. "You shouldn't."

"I shouldn't what?"

"You shouldn't love me...it's a waste of time. You're going back to your parents in six months; let's just end it before we hurt each other,"

"You're hurting me now," She whispered, and he withheld his flinch, loathing the tears that began to glaze over her beautiful eyes.  "I thought...I thought we could make one another happy...."

"Well, you thought wrong," Mason couldn't bear to say another word to Anya, and he could feel her burning gaze as he turned around and stomped through the mud, praying that he didn't slip as he made his escape.

The heart that throbbed turned to stone once more as Mason returned to his home, thanking the heavens that his father's car was missing. He slipped off his shoes and immediately turned on the shower, ensuring the water was scalding hot before he stripped and began to scrub. Despite the red welts that had appeared, however, there was no sense of comfort, and defeat once more weighed on his shoulders as he saw the guitar that lay on the floors, broken and damaged, just as Mason had become.

He had lost everything: his brother, his family, and his voice. Now Anya and Lucas were a part of the list, and what frightened Mason more was that he had no will to fight and claim the life he could have. He considered it to be pointless- and that was his new reality. His life was completely, utterly pointless.

A.N.

And here we have chapter 21!
I cannot beleieve we are one week into the new year, time just seems to be flying. Still, I hope the new year has bought excitement and joy to you all! Has anyone thought of any resolutions?
Once more, this chapter is quite heavy on the feels and I cannot stress the importance of speaking out and seeking help if you need it. My message board and comments are always open- one thing i'm so thrilled to say is that my Wattpad family is so supportive, you are never alone!

Thank you so much for reading the chapter, I truly hope you are enjoying the story so far.
Aamenah x
Song- Munn, I lost myself