Chapter 1

16-year-old Aza Holmes has OCD and she is sitting at A Lunch at White River High School in Indianapolis, Indiana with her friends Mychal Turner, "The Artsy One", and Daisy Ramirez, "my most Best and Most Fearless Friend" (Aza is "The Sidekick" in the group). She is called "Holmesy" by Daisy. Aza is cumbersomely eating a sandwich while Mychal and Daisy talk about Mychal's art project. Daisy then unintentionally interrupts Aza's thoughts to talk about Davis Pickett, billionaire Russel Pickett's son, and Russell Pickett himself. Suddenly, Aza has a thought spiral about "Clostridium difficile, which can be fatal", since she hears her stomach rumbling. She pulls out her phone and reads the article on Wikipedia, and the thought spiral tightens. She then cracks open a scab on her right middle finger with her right thumb, since she has another thought spiral concerning it. Daisy then tells Aza that she hasn't seen her hair dyed red. Aza sees it and says "It's bold" and mentions that Daisy's motto is "Break Hearts, Not Promises". Aza then fears she will throw up as her stomach keeps rumbling. But, she breaths in and out, as "Dr. Karen Singh" had told her to do when nervous. Aza then says "The thing about a spiral is, if you follow it inward, it never actually ends. It keeps tightening, infinitely."

When the bells rings, Aza throws the rest of her uneaten sandwich in the trash can. As she and Daisy leave the cafeteria, a "girl, Molly, walked up to us, smiling, and said 'Uh, Daisy, just FYI, your Kool-Aid dye job is staining your shirt.' " The sixteen-year-old notices it and says that dye staining her shirt is intentional and Daisy says to Aza that after school, they are going to watch Star Wars: Rebels. Aza mentions that Daisy is obsessed with Star Wars and she suddenly has another thought spiral and remembers her and Davis sitting next to each other at summer camp.

Chapter 2

As Aza walks to history class, her mother chastises her for having her phone out in the hallway. Mrs. Holmes is a ninth grade math teacher at WRHS (White River High School). Both talk for a while before Aza mentions she's a high school junior.

After school, Daisy and Aza meets in Aza's car, named Harold. It used to be Mr. Holmes' car before he suddenly died of a heart attack while mowing the backyard 8 years before the events of Turtles All The Way Down. Aza notices that Daisy has saved her milk carton from lunch and says "Please do not drink non-clear liquids in Harold." Daisy says that milk is clear, but Aza dismisses it as the OCD-afflicted teenager drives her friend to Chuck E. Cheeses.

 Aza the breaks down on who Harold is: "a sixteen-year-old Toyota Corolla with a paint color called Mystic Teal Mica and an engine that clanked in a steady rhythm like the beating of his immaculate metallic heart." Aza mentions that her father named the car Harold, but never told her mother. Harold was also fixed by Aza when she saved enough money to take him to the auto dealership.

As Aza and Daisy ride on the expressway to Daisy's job, both hear on the radio Russell Pickett's disappearance. Daisy then exclaims that there is one hundred thousand dollars at stake and that she knows Davis, Russell Pickett's son, but Aza corrects her that she knew Davis. Aza mentions that she and Davis went to "Sad Camp together. which is what we called Camp Spero, this place down in Brown County for kids with dead parents." Davis is mentioned to live close to Aza, on the other side of the White River. Daisy then says that one hundred thousand dollars is so close to them, but Aza says that she had to do homework before solve a mystery and have adventure. Daisy pulls out her iPhone and reads an article about Russell Pickett on The Indianapolis Star and notices that the Pickett estate has no security cameras. They decide to go to Aza's house and canoe their way to the Pickett estate and find the camera.

Chapter 3

Aza pulls into the driveway of her house and opens the garage door by lifting it up with her fingers. She notices she is sweating and runs over to her room and turns the air conditioning on. Her room is noted to be a ginormous mess, with dirty clothes scattered everywhere throughout the room with "worksheets, old tests, college pamphlets Mom brought home" on her desk. Since Daisy is wearing her job uniform, they decide to raid Mrs. Holmes' closet for clothes for Daisy to wear (since they both think it's embarrassing to wear a uniform when talking to a rich person). When they find no clothes for Daisy to wear, Mrs. Holmes drives into the driveway and Aza and Daisy escape into the backyard to find the two old canoes Mrs. Holmes and Aza would canoe in in the White River when Aza was younger. Daisy flips one over and finds two small lifejackets and paddles hidden by ivy leaves in it. Both girls then get into the canoe and paddle towards Pirates Island, an island in the White River near the Pickett estate where part of Aza's 11th birthday party was held. As they paddle, Daisy rants about how Indianapolis only exists because of the White River. When they reach the island, Aza remembers how Davis had lost his Iron Man figure there and how Mrs. Holmes found it for him.

After some time, Daisy and Aza reach the island and climb over a floodwall to reach the Pickett estate. They find a hidden camera quickly and Aza links the camera to her phone and find a picture of "a stocky man wearing a striped nightshirt" (which she screenshots). Daisy, in fear, runs off during Aza's snooping and when Aza finds Daisy standing on top of the overturned canoe holding a boulder over her head, she says "What the hell are you doing?" Daisy then says they need a distraction to meet Davis and forces the boulder into the canoe. Lyle, the security guard of the estate, then shows up and arrests them for trespassing.

Chapter 4

Lyle takes Daisy and Aza to the estate and tells them that he's taking them "downtown and having you booked for trespassing."

Lyle, Aza, and Daisy find Davis sitting on a chair reading a book. Aza notes he "was wearing his school polo shirt and khaki pants" and has "skinny, sunburned legs and knobby knees. He wore plastic-rimmed glasses and an Indiana Pacers hat." Davis looks up from his book and automatically notices Aza. Daisy introduces herself and Aza explains their dilemma. Lyle is shocked Davis knows Aza and asks her is she wants anything. Aza reluctantly says "Dr. Pepper?" and Davis says "Wasn't that your favorite soda?" and Davis then orders Lyle to get three cans of Dr. Pepper. The security guard does so. Davis is nervous about talking to Daisy and Aza and Aza tells him to "Try saying what you're thinking.... That's something I never do." Davis then says he thought that Aza was after the $100,000 reward for finding Russell Pickett, and Aza says she doesn't know anything about a reward and Davis explains that he thought of Aza when Davis' father was reported missing. He also says that Mrs. Holmes named Aza when in reality is was her father. Aza then mentions her father said that the origin of her name was "It spans the whole alphabet, because we wanted you to know you can be anything" and that Davis' full name is Russell Davis Pickett Jr.. Davis mentions he doesn't know where his father is and Daisy suddenly jumps in and says that the real reason they came to the estate was that they heard about Pickett Sr.'s disappearance and that Aza had a crush on Davis before she leaves to find Malik Moore, a zoologist that takes care of the pet tuatara. Davis says that Aza looks nothing like her child self and that she's grown up. Aza sympathizes with Davis,  but Davis says his dad doesn't care about him or his little brother Noah and is a coward. Aza is shocked and Davis says that his father gets away with everything. As Aza is about to respond, Daisy comes back with Zoologist Malik Moore and they visit the glass dome, which is the middle of the pool. A bridge appears from the pool's edge to the dome and the four enter the dome to meet Tua, the Pickett's pet tuatara. Lyle appears with the three cans of Dr. Pepper. Davis then says he'll take Daisy and Aza home, since Daisy has to babysit her little sister Elena.

Inside the Pickett estate, Aza and Daisy meet Noah, Davis' 13-year-old little brother. On accident, Aza finds Davis' room. She finds the Iron Man figure and Davis tells her to be careful with it. Both then go downstairs and Davis asks Rosa, "the house manager", to stay there until Davis returns, She agrees.

Davis and Aza walk to the estate garage, where Daisy is leaning against "Davis's Cadillac Escapade" and Davis tells Lyle he's going to take both girls home.

It took ten minutes to take Daisy and Aza to the Holmes household and Aza and Davis exchange phone numbers. After Davis types his number into Aza's iPhone, he grabs her right hand notices the Band-Aid on her middle finger. Aza then pulls her hand back and Davis asks if it hurts and she says "Whether it hurts its kind of irrelevant" to which Davis says is a good life motto. Both then say goodbye as Aza closes the door.

Chapter 5

As Daisy and Aza drive Harold to Daisy's apartment, Daisy notices that Aza is grinning. Aza declines and Daisy says that if boys could listen to you and not be stupid, they'd be acceptable. Aza says she's not looking to date anyone. Daisy then says she's willing to date somebody and then says that Malik told her that Tua will inherit the Pickett estate if Russell Pickett dies. She also adds in that "Nothing says fuck you to your kids quite like leaving your fortune to a lizard." Aza pulls up to the apartment complex where Daisy lives and says "My to-do list: Research wills. Get police report. Your to-do list: Fall for Davis, which you've already mostly done." She then leaves Harold to babysit her younger sister.

When Aza gets home, she remembers Davis holding her hand to look at the Band-Aid and she mentions that she sometimes has what Dr. Singh calls intrusive thoughts, which she first heard as invasive thoughts. She explains that intrusive thoughts take over your brain and she has one about the Band-Aid. Aza tries to fight the thought spiral, but it takes over her and she goes to the bathroom, unwraps the Band-Aid, puts hand sanitizer on it, and washes her hands. Then she reopens the crack and puts a fresh Band-Aid on it before she goes to watch TV with her mother before another thought spiral about the Band-Aid appears. "The spiral tightens, like that, forever."

Chapter 6

The next day, when school is over, Aza and Daisy text each other. Aza says to meet Daisy at Applebee's, their meeting place. Then, "She responded a few minutes later: I have work until 8. Meet you after?

Me: Do you need a ride?

Her: Dad picked me up. He's taking me. Has Davis texted you yet?

Me: No, should I text him?

Her: ABSOLUTLY NOT.

Her: Wait between 24 to 30 hours. Obviously. You're intrigued but not obsessed.

Me: Got it. Didn't know there were Texting Commandments.

Her: Well there are. We're almost there so I gotta go. First order of business, drawing straws to see who gets in the Chuckie costume. Pray for me."

Aza drives home and when she gets home, she sees the texts from Daisy:

"I just drew the short straw so I have to get inside the fricking Chuckie costume.

See you later if I survive.

If I die weep at my grave weep at my grave every day until a seedling appears in the dirt, then cry on it to make it grow until it becomes a beautiful tree whose roots surround my body.

They're making me go now they're taking my phone away REMEMBER ME HOLMESY.

Update: I survived. Getting a ride to Applebee's after work. See you."

Aza enters the house and her mother confronts her about the broken canoe and Aza says that she and Daisy were canoeing in the White River when it happened. Mrs. Holmes asks her daughter if Davis is okay without his father and Aza says yes. Mrs. Holmes thinks about her husband, who died some years before the events of "Turtles All The Way Down" and says he was a worrier. Aza says "I don't mind worriers... Worrying is the correct worldview. Life is worrisome." Mrs. Holmes says Aza is like her father.

When Aza meets Daisy at Applebee's, Daisy shows Aza a picture of an "eggplant emoji" sent from one of her fans. Aza says she doesn't get it when their server, Holly, appears. Aza orders a veggie burger to go and Daisy has a barbeque burger. Daisy shows Aza that she research Russell Pickett Sr.'s wills and says that if he dies, his fortune goes to an organization dedicated to studying tuataras. Daisy then plans to get a police report on Pickett Sr.

Aza finds her Facebook profile on her phone and sees she's been friends with Davis. She taps on his account and finds links to his Instagram page and sees he was in a relationship. Her search then leads her to Davis' Twitter account and then, his blog. Davis has quotes from famous people before every entry on it. The last post before his father's disappearance:

"Sleep tight, ya morons. - J.D. Salinger

I thinks this is goodbye, my friends, although then again: No one every says good-bye unless they want to see you again."

Aza then ends up searching his usernames until she finds a Reddit account that looked like Davis'. Aza tells Daisy of her discovery and Daisy says to find information on the mystery. Aza finds that Russell Pickett has been breaking the law and has cheated imprisonment. Aza then uses her laptop to find more information and has found "a website called Glassdoor" and she finds what other people say about Pickett Sr. She then finds his plan to avoid the White River being polluted, but the government rejected it. Daisy has used a fake account to get the police report about the disappearance. Aza is shocked and Daisy says "Welcome to the future, Holmesy. It's not about hacking computers anymore; it's about hacking human souls." Aza worries that the guy that Daisy emailed will find them and Daisy says he won't find them. Daisy is frustrated with her fanfiction commenters and both of then talk about Daisy's Chewbacca and Rey story. Both girls then leave and Daisy says "It's been over twenty-four hours; time to talk to Davis."

Chapter 7

On Monday, Aza drives herself and her mother to school and Mrs. Holmes tells her daughter that she has an appointment with Dr. Singh the next day.

When Aza gets inside the school, she runs into Mychal and he tells her if he thinks Daisy will date him. She says yes as the bell rings for her to go to Period 1 (class 1 of the day), Biology. The texts between Aza and Daisy:

"Me: I thought Mychal was asking me out so I tried to let him down but he was not asking me out. He was asking me if I would ask you out FOR HIM. Humiliation level - all-time high. But you should say yes. He's cute.

Her: Oh, God. Panic. He looks like a giant baby.

Me: What?

Her: He looks like a giant baby. Molly Krauss said that once and I've never been able to unsee it. I can't hook up with a giant baby.

Me: Because of the shaved head?

Her: Because of the everything Holmesy. Because he looks exactly like a giant baby.

Me: He really doesn't.

Her: Next time you see him look and him and tell me he does not look like a giant baby. He looks exactly like if Drake and Beyonce had a giant baby.

Me: That would be a hot giant baby.

Her: I'm saving that text in case I ever need to blackmail you. btw HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THE POLICE REPORT?

Me: Not really, have you?

Her: Yes, even though I had to close yesterday AND Saturday AND I had to wear the Chuckie costume like twelve seperate times. I didn't find any clues, but I did read the whole thing. Even though it's super boring. I really am the unsung hero of this investigation."

Me: I think you are fairly sung . I'll read it today I gotta go Ms. Park is looking at me weird."

Throughout Biology, Aza reads the police report on Russell Pickett Sr. and finds that he "was fifty-three, male, grey haired, blue-eyed, with a tattoo reading Nolite te bastardes carborundorum ("Don't let the bastards get you down", apparently) on his left shoulder blade, three small surgical scars in his abdomen from a gallbladder removal, six feet in height, approximately 220 pounds, last seen wearing his standard sleeping attire: a horizontally striped navy-and-white nightshirt and light-blue boxer shorts. He was discovered missing at 5:35 a.m. when the police raided house in connection with a corruption investigation." The witness testimonies are from Davis and Noah. Davis says he and Noah dinner was pizza, saying he sees his Dad for some minutes or not at all. Davis and Noah then do the dishes and he does homework while Noah plays a video game. Davis says that near 10 pm, he goes to his room to do some homework and then looks at the stars through his telescope. Noah's testimony is the same as Davis', but he goes to bed at 12 am. Aza sees pictures of the house and realizes she and Daisy have a timeline, something the police don't have.

And the end of school, Aza finds Daisy in Harold and Daisy says she was hiding in history class since she and Mychal are in it and she's dealing with fanfiction comments. She asks Aza about the police report and Aza says the police know little and Daisy figures out the police know little about the mystery. Daisy also says they should tell the police about their findings and Aza says no, saying she wants to talk about it to Davis first. Daisy tells Aza, "Break hearts, not promises, Holmesy" and Aza drives Daisy to work.

That evening, Mrs. Holmes and Aza have dinner while watching TV and Aza goes to her room to do homework and Daisy calls her about the evidence. A text from Davis interrupts the conversation and he says "I used to think you should never be friends who just wants to be near your money or access or whatever." Aza is about to reply when he says "Like, never make a friend who doesn't like YOU." Aza tries to reply again and Davis texts "Maybe money is part of me. Maybe that's who I am." He adds "What's the difference between who you are and what you have? Maybe nothing.

At this point I don't care why someone likes me. I'm just so goddamned lonely. I know that's pathetic. But yeah.

I'm lying in a sand trap of my dad's golf course looking at the sky. I had kind of a shitty day. Sorry for all the texts.

Aza then texts Davis saying "Hi."

The conversation:

"Him: I told you I was bad at chitchat. Right. That's how you start a conversation. Hi.

Me: You're not your money.

Him: Then what am I? What is anyone?

Me: I is the hardest word to define.

Him: Maybe you are what you can't be.

Me: Maybe. How's the sky?

Him: Great. Huge. Amazing.

Me: I like being outside at night. It gives me this weird feeling, like I'm homesick but not for home. It's kind of a good feeling, though.

Him: I am drenched in that feeling at the moment. Are you outside?

Me: I'm in bed.

Him: Light pollution makes naked eye stargazing suck here, but I can see all eight stars in the Big Dipper now, if you include Alcor.

Me: What was shitty about your day?"

Davis then texts Aza that he's alone and worried about Noah, who cannot do anything since he believe Pickett Sr. still loves them and will return. He also texts that that day is their mother's birthday and that Noah barely knew her and that "when you lose someone, you realize you'll eventually lose everything." They both text each other good night and Aza thinks that what Davis texted her is true.

Chapter 8

When Aza gets to White River High School the next morning, Daisy approaches her. She says that Mychal asked her out and she said yes and that Aza has a crush on Davis (who goes to "Aspen Hall") and now there's going to be a double date on Friday. Aza is shocked and then texts Davis about it. He agrees and the four agree to meet at seven at Applebee's.

Aza drives herself to Dr. Singh's office, which is "in the Indiana University Hospital up in Carmel." Aza enters the office and the appointment begins. Dr. Singh takes note of everything Aza says and at one point, she says "One of the challenges with pain - physical or psychic - is that we can really only approach it through metaphor. It can't be represented the way a table or body can. In some ways, pain is the opposite of language." At the end of the appointment, "I think and I think and I think."

Chapter 9

On Friday, Aza wears "my favorite jeans and a hoodie over a lavender t-shirt Daisy had given me featuring Han Solo and Chewbacca in a fierce embrace." Mrs. Holmes catches her daughter wearing eyeliner and forces her to talk to her. Mrs. Holmes tells Aza to be careful around Davis.

Aza is the last person to arrive and she notices Davis wearing a neat plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up, "exposing his forearms." Davis complements on Aza's shirt and she says "Birthday present from Daisy." Then, the group talks about Star Wars and have food before Davis invites them over to his house.

Aza drives Harold, Mychal drives "in his parents minivan" with Daisy, "and Davis in his Escalade." Mychal notes that the architect of the Pickett estate is "Tu-Quyen Pham." When they go inside Mychal recite all the artists of the painting in the house (like he's an art expert). Davis then says he has "the Rauschenburg combine upstairs" and Mychal and Daisy flee to it. Aza looks at the colorful whirlpool of a painting by "Raymond Pettibon" and Davis stands next to her. Both Aza and Davis head to the hidden movie theater and they decide to go for a walk.

Aza and Davis walk past the color-lit pool (with Tua's nest in the glass dome in the middle) and onto the golf course, where they lie in an "oblong sand bunker" and look at the night sky. Davis tells Aza about planet Jupiter, constellation Cassiopeia, and stars Caph, Shedar, and Navi before attempting to hold Aza's hand. There is silence for a moment before Davis says that Aza is very quiet and Aza says she doesn't know what to say often. Davis says Aza's quote from Chapter 4 about talking and Aza says she thinks "about mere organism stuff". She looks and Davis and mentions that "Everyone celebrate the easy attractiveness of green or blue eyes, but there was a depth to Davis's brown eyes that you just don't get from lighter colors, and the way he looked at me made me feel like there was something worthwhile in the brown of my eyes, too." Aza takes her hand out of Davis' and tells him "about this weird parasite, Diplostomum pseudospathaceum." Davis then tells Aza about his mother, who was hospitalized for an aneurysm and got every chance he had to visit his mother and says that one day, his father told his that Mrs. Pickett was gone. They then head to a small wooden cottage on the property and Davis empties three cereal boxes with $10,000 dollar bundles. in them The total money from all three: $10,000. Davis hands them Aza and she says that she'll call him.

In the mansion, Aza finds Daisy and Mychal kissing in an upstairs room before talking to Noah downstairs. Noah says that he'll send Aza a note that says "the jogger's mouth" and that he wants his father back. Aza tries to comfort him.

Chapter 10

The next day, Daisy calls Aza while Aza is still in bed and Daisy says that she really likes Mychal and that she's in love with him. Daisy then asks how Davis is and Aza says that they should meet in person to talk. They plan to meet at Applebee's at six since Daisy is having breakfast with "Mr. Charles Cheese" (presumably Mychal, but we don't know).

Aza looks through Pickett Sr.'s notes throughout the morning. She looks through them until she finds "The jogger's mouth" and looks it up via Google and finds pictures of "people jogging with their mouths open."

Aza drives Harold to Applebee's and they arrive at 5:30 pm. Aza has the bag of $100,000 in the back of the car under a seat and her dad's iPhone and her phone charger in the console. She gets out the phone and charger and looks through the pictures that Mr. Holmes took of his family. Aza suddenly has a flashback about her father's heart attack that ended his life

 When Daisy shows up, Aza calls her over and shows her the money, in which Daisy is ecstatic about. Aza says they'll each get $50,000 and Daisy says they can keep it. Daisy also says "HOLMESY. BE HAPPY. WE ARE RICH."

Aza and Daisy eat food at Applebee's and Holly is shocked that they didn't use a coupon, ordered soda instead of water, and that Daisy left her "a twenty-dollar tip for putting up with us."

Chapter 11

The next day, Simon Morris, the Pickett's lawyer, calls Aza and says he'll accept the $100,000 Davis gave to Daisy and Aza.

When Daisy and Aza are driving to the bank, Daisy rants on about how school is easier when she quit her job and about her most recent Star Wars fanfiction dominated the interment. Aza then has a thought spiral about the Band-Aid and reapplies it multiple times during the drive.

Daisy and Aza get to the bank and they get new bank accounts and deposit the $10,000 in the bank. The woman there tells them not to to buy anything for a total of six months.

Aza drops off Daisy at her apartment and when Aza gets home, she checks the scab again in the bathroom. She then takes a pill that tastes sugary when she feels panicky. She then takes a nap on the couch in the living room.

When Aza wakes up and is doing her History homework, she texts Davis.

Conversation:

"Me: Hi.

Him: Hi.

Me: How are you?

Him: Pretty good, you?

Me: Pretty good.

Him: Let's continue this awkward silence in person.

Me: When?

Him: There is a meteor shower Thursday night. Should be a good one if it's not cloudy.

Me: Sounds great. See you then. I have to go my mom is here."

Mrs. Holmes enters her daughter's room and asks if they can cook some food together. Aza says she's scared and Mrs. Holmes tries to comfort her, like how Aza tried to comfort Noah in Chapter 9.

Chapter 12

On the day of the meteor shower, Aza notices a huge "a bright orange Volkswagon Beetle parked in my usual spot." Daisy is the driver. Aza chastises her for spending her money too quickly and Daisy says that "Liam is a future collector's item. I've named him Liam, by the way." Liam's name is mentioned to be an inside joke by Aza. As they get out of their cars Daisy hands her "Fiske Guide to Collages" before running off into the parking lot since she sees Mychal.

Throughout the day, Aza reads the collage book during class and she only doesn't read it during A Lunch. At that time, she texts Davis, "What time tonight?"

The texts:

"Him: Looks like it's going to be overcast tonight so no meteor shower.

Me: My primary interest is not the meteor shower.

Him: Oh. Then after school.

Me: I've got a homework date with Daisy. Seven?

Him: Seven works."

After school, Daisy and Aza work on homework in Aza's room in the Holmes household. After Daisy leaves, Davis texts Aza at 6:52 pm.

"Him: I'm in your driveway should I come in?

Me: No no no no nope no I will be out shortly."

As Aza leaves, she tells her mother she's going to dinner. As she gets into the car and Davis pulls out of the driveway, Mrs. Holmes angrily calls her daughter to meet the "the driver of that black SUV". Aza tells Davis this and he reluctantly turns around.

Mrs. Holmes confronts Davis as soon as he and Aza enter the Holmes household. She tells him "Aza is not some girl from the other side of the river" and that he can have everything he wants if he asks. Aza pleads with her mother to stop as Davis begins to cry because Mrs. Holmes is insulting him. Aza drags Davis out the front door her mother she'll have to be "Back by eleven." 

When Aza and Davis are inside Davis' car, they talk about how overprotective Mrs. Holmes is and how stupid parents are. Aza says at one point, "The parasite believes itself to be the host."

At the Pickett estate, Rosa has left spaghetti out for Davis and Aza. She leaves and Davis says Rosa is like a mother to him, since she has been there since his birth. They eat a little bit of the spaghetti and they talk about Pickett Sr., in which Aza figures out that Pickett Sr. is giving his estate to Tua so he can be "remembered as the man who ended death." The Davis asks Aza "Have you ever been in love, Aza?" and she says no. Then they head outside.

Davis and Aza walk past the pool when Tua is kept in her nest and onto the golf course. Two chairs from the patio of the pool are placed near a golf hole and flap whips in the wind. They sit down on the chairs and Davis shows Aza his stargazing app where some stars are, since it's a cloudy night. The meteor shower they would see would be "dust left behind by this comet called Giacobini-Zinner". Then some silence before Aza rants about "the widening gyre" as a metaphor for her thought spirals. Davis says she should be a poet about how she said it and Aza asks if he wrote poems. Davis says yes and that they're bad. He recites one and he says life "rhymes, but not in the way you expect." Aza realizes she's in love with Dacis and kisses him. Davis is flattered and they both begin kissing each other. Aza freaks out at some point and pulls away from Davis as a thought spiral about bacteria happens. They then plan to watch "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" in the estate's hidden movie theater.

After the movie, Davis drives Aza home and Aza sneaks past her mother, "asleep on the couch in front of the TV." She gets to the garage door and gets into Harold to look at the pictures on her dad's phone. Mrs. Holmes finds her daughter in the car and asks her what she was talking about with Davis. Aza says "Secrets" and proceeds to go to the upstairs bathroom and put on sweatpants and one of Mrs. Holmes' old t-shirts. When Aza gets to bed, Mrs. Holmes quietly enters her room and sings "Auld Lang Syne" and the song puts Aza to sleep.

Chapter 13

The next morning, Davis texted Aza.

Conversation:

"Him: Want to watch a movie tonight? Doesn't even need to be set in space.

Me: I can't. Another time maybe. Sorry I freaked out and for the sweating and everything.

Him: You don't even sweat an un-normal amount.

Me: I definitely do but I don't want to talk about it.

Him: You really don't like your body.

Me: True.

Him: I like it. It's a good body."

Aza waits for some time before replying back.

"Me: I feel kinds precarious in general, and I can really date you. Or date anyone. I'm sorry but I can't. I like you, but I can't date you.

Him: We agree on that. Too much work. All people in relationships ever do is talk about their relationship status. It's like a Ferris wheel.

Me: Huh?

Him: When you're on a Ferris wheel all anyone talks about is being on the Ferris wheel and whether the Ferris wheel is scary and how many times it will go around. Dating is like that. Nobody who's doing it ever talks about anything else. I have no interest in dating.

Me: Well, what do you have an interest in?

Him: You.

Me: I don't know how to respond to that.

Him: You don't need to. Have a good day, Aza.

Me: You too, Davis."

On Saturday, Aza has an appointment with Dr. Singh and she tells her about her relationship with Davis and microbial exchange fear. She also mentions that she could be fake, and Dr. Singh assures her she's real like everyone else.

When Aza gets home, Mrs. Holmes notices her daughter being nervous and tells her that she's sorry about insulting Davis. Aza says it's fine and she has to go to history homework. She flees to her room.

After Aza finishes her homework, she texts Davis "When you said before that you liked my body, what did you mean?" Then....

"Him: I mean I like it.

Me: What about it?

Him: I like the way your shoulders slope down into your collarbone.

Him: And I like your legs. I like the curve of your calf.

Him: I like your hands. I like your long fingers, and the insides of your wrists, the color of the skin there, the veins underneath it.

Me: I like your arms.

Him: They're skinny.

Me: They feel strong actually. Is this okay?

Him: Very.

Me: So, the curve of my calf? I've never noticed it.

Him: It's nice.

Me: Is that it?

Him: I like your ass. I really really like your ass. Is this okay?

Me: Yes.

Him: I want to start a fan blog about your ass.

Me: Okay, that's a little weird.

Him: I want to write fan fiction in which your amazing butt falls in love with your beautiful eyes.

Me: lol. You are really ruining the moment. You were saying....before...?

Him: That I like your body. I like your stomach and your legs and your hair and I like. Your. Body.

Me: Really?

Him: Really.

Me: What is wrong with me that texting is fun and kissing is scary?

Him: Nothing is wrong with you. Want to come over after school on Monday? Watch a movie or something?"

Aza waits a moment before texting "Sure."

Chapter 14

On Monday, Aza tells Daisy about the night in Chapter 12 and Daisy says "When you put it that way, kissing is actually disgusting." Daisy then flees Aza as soon as she sees Mychal.

After school, Aza drives automatically to the Pickett estate and Lyle, the security guard, lets her in. He drives his golf cart with her to the pool where Tua's nest is and both find Davis and Noah sitting in a pool lounge together. Davis tells Lyle to take Aza around the house and into the Laboratory where Zoologist Malik Moore is working, since he is talking to Noah. Lyle does so and when Aza sees Malik again, she is fascinated by Malik's research. Davis then shows up and walks Aza to the hidden theater and tells her that Noah is suspended for bringing pot to school, and he's only thirteen. They then decide to watch the movie.

Davis and Aza watch "Jupiter Ascending". During the movie, Aza quickly kisses Davis one time and then starts being intimate with him until a thought spiral about microbial exchange enters the scene. She then goes to the bathroom during another scene, reapplies the Band-Aid and drinks hand sanitizer.

Noah finds out Davis and Aza are watching Jupiter Ascending and says that his father doesn't want to be found or is going to come home when the hype about his disappearance calms down.

Aza goes back to the movie theater and she and Davis finish the movie while a thought spiral about bacteria tightens in Aza's mind.

Chapter 15

When Aza gets home, she looks at Davis' blog and all the entries related to Pickett Sr.'s disappearance. She then finds the tab where his poems are kept. One of them is:

"My mother's footsteps

were so quiet

I barely heard her leave."

Aza continues reading then until Davis texts her. "[Davis:] Hi.

Me: Hi.

Him: Are you on my blog right now?

Me:...Maybe? Is that okay?

Him: I'm just glad it's you. My analytic said someone from Indianapolis has been on the site for 30 minutes. I got nervous.

Me: Why?

Him: I don't want my terrible poems to be published in the news.

Me: Nobody would do that. Also stop saying your poems are terrible.

Him: How did you find it?

Me: Searched "the leaves are gone you should be too". Nothing anyone else would know to search.

Him: Sorry if I sound paranoid I just like posting there and don't want to have to delete it.

Him: It was nice to see you tonight.

Me: Yeah."

Aza then decides to FaceTime his and texts him if they can FaceTime each other, and Davis says yes. Then, they FaceTime each other before going to bed.

Chapter 16

Aza mentions that for a while, she and Davis figured out how to be friends and that school for Aza kept on going. One night, when Aza and Daisy meet at Applebee's, Aza reads one of Daisy fanfictions and thinks the stories are good, but she slowly knows what Daisy really thinks of her as she's reading.

Aza keeps reading the stories and she realizes Daisy perceives her as "clueless, helpless, useless. Less." The next morning, Daisy notices Aza being a little freaked out and says that she, Mychal, and Aza are going to do homework together and watch Attack of the Clones, but before that, a lightsaber battle at Aza's house. Aza agrees.

While watching Attack of the Clones, Aza is searching things about "the jogger's mouth", since she thinks it could be the key to Pickett Sr.'s location. Daisy notices this and tells Aza that they already have the $100,000 and then flees the Holmes household to Mychal's house.

Chapter 17

On night in December (I think), Davis texts Aza.

"Him: You around?

Me: I am. Want to facetime?

Him: Could possibly see you I  irl?

Me: I guess, but I'm less fun irl.

Him: I like you irl. Is now good?

Me: Now's good.

Him: Dress warm. It's cold out, and the sky is clear."

Aza drives over to the Pickett estate in Harold and when she goes inside, she sees Davis and Noah playing a video game. Davis noticed her and says to Noah that he's going to walk with her. "He reached over and mussed Noah's hair."

Aza says that she read Daisy's stories and notices that even on a cold day, the place looks nice without Pickett Sr. there. Davis says they're good and Aza says that she gets lost in Ayala's character. "He nudged his shoulder against me sweetly. 'I kind of liked her, but I guess I'm biased.' "

Davis and Aza go to the pool where Tua's nest is and Davis uses his phone to unroll the pool cover. They sit on chairs next to each other on the patio. Davis has his Iron Man figure in his coat pocket and takes it out, saying that it's been a horrible week. He then tells her of some stars and planets and Aza tells his about "mathematician Kurt Godel" and how he always ate his wife's food. When she got sick, Godel stopped eating and died from starvation at the age of 71. Davis asks her if she worries about that and Aza says she worries about lots of things. Davis and Aza talk for a while before Davis asks her if she wants to swim. He then takes off his shirt and pants and gets in the pool. Aza does the same and she notices that Tua, inside her dome, is watching them. Davis says "I hate that thing".

Aza and Davis run inside and change before they look through Davis' telescope at a few stars and planets. They see Tau Centi and Davis says "Right now, they're seeing our light from twelve years ago - in the light their seeing, my mom has three years left to live. This house has just been built, and Mom and Dad are always fighting about the layout of the kitchen. In the light they see, you and I are just kids. We've got the best and the worst of it in front of us." Aza is surprised and she asks Davis if they can see each other over the weekend and he says yes. They hug and Aza leaves.

Aza checks Davis' blog when she gets home and she decides to read Daisy's fanfiction and looks at Wikipedia pages and accidentally looks up bacteria infections. Aza goes to the bathroom, puts a Band-Aid on the scab and drinks hand sanitizer. She then goes to bed.

Chapter 18

Aza sleeps through her alarm and Mrs. Holmes wakes her up. Aza gets ready for school and she sees Daisy at the steps of the school. Daisy says her mom borrowed her car and she asks Aza is they could go to Applebee's in Harold. Aza says yes.

Aza makes it through school and she can't stop thinking about hand sanitizer and calling Dr. Singh about it.

When Aza and Daisy get out of school, they go in Harold and Daisy angrily says that Aza doesn't know how well she knows Daisy. In response, Aza explodes that she is stuck in her head all the time and says her OCD is like eating mustard all the time. Aza gets so stuck in her loud response that Daisy screams "HOLMESY!" and Aza quickly slams the brake as she slams into a black SUV in front of them. Suddenly, a truck slams into Harold and Aza notices that Harold was totaled. She starts crying, since Harold is a piece of her dead father and Daisy doesn't know why. Mr. Holmes' iPhone is cracked and the screen is "a cloudy gray." Back pain in Aza forces her to stay in Harold and two people come to Aza and Daisy's rescue.

In the ambulance, Mrs. Holmes weeps over her daughter and Aza and Daisy are alive, but severely injured. Both girls are going to a hospital to recover from the car crash.

Chapter 19

At the hospital, a nurse tells Aza and Mrs. Holmes that Aza has a "lacerated liver" and will stay in the hospital for a few weeks. Aza panics and her mother tells her is for her own good. The nurse tells Aza she will put be upstairs.

As soon as Aza and Mrs. Holmes are put upstairs, Daisy has been discharged from the hospital. Aza mentions she's "high on morphine", a painkiller, and has a thought spiral about "C. diff" and she begins thinking of recent memories to calm her down, but they fail. Aza then texts Daisy, "I'm so sorry I haven't been a good friend. I can't stop thinking about it." Daisy replies, "It's fine. How are you?

Me: I do care about you life and I'm sorry I haven't showed it.

Daisy: Holmesy calm down about everything is fine I'm sorry we fought we'll makeup  it'll be fine.

Me: I'm just really sorry. I can't think straight.

Daisy: Stop apologizing. Are you on sweet pain meds?"

Aza suddenly has a thought spiral about her future and bacteria. She then gets up from the bed and tries to drink hand sanitizer. Mrs. Holmes screams at her daughter to stop and Aza begins vomiting. A nurse quickly comes to their rescue. Aza suddenly realizes "I wasn't possessed by a demon. I was the demon."

Chapter 20

The next morning, when Aza wakes up, Mrs. Holmes brings her daughter food since "The hospital food didn't look so good, so I made you some breakfast". Aza notices flowers on the edge of her bed and Mrs. Holmes says they're "From Davis". Aza then internally panics before saying to her mother "I'm in trouble, Mom. Big trouble."

Chapter 21

Aza tells the story of how she became entangled with the mystery of Russell Pickett Sr.'s disappearance to her mother. After the hand sanitizer incident, the hospital removes the hand sanitizer dispenser and Aza stays in the hospital "for eight days." During that time, Dr. Singh visits her.

After being discharged from the hospital, Dr. Singh visits the Holmes household check on Aza. Aza is not in school for "two weeks"/"fourteen days" and when "Daisy and Davis both tried to visit", Aza just wanted to be left alone. When she checks her phone, Aza sees that she has "over thirty messages" from Daisy, Davis, Mychal, some friends, and some teachers.

Mrs. Holmes drives her daughter to school, since Aza is afraid of driving a car after what happened to her. As Aza approaches White River High School, she sees that Daisy got a new haircut. They apologize to each other and Daisy says that Aza "you can sure hold a grudge against herself." Daisy also says that Mychal dumped her. When they enter school, Daisy says she's using Uber to get herself around and the reason she has the haircut is because her little sister Elena put gum in her hair.

Aza and Daisy sit outside the school and eat pizza. They talk about the Picketts and how Daisy used her money to set up a college fund for Elena. When Aza describes her OCD to Daisy, Daisy tells her a story about someone who told a scientist "the earth is a flat plane resting on the back of a giant turtle." They then agree that's "turtles all the way down" (ROLL CREDITS). 

Aza talk to her mother before A Lunch (first lunch block in the school's schedule) ends and tells her about the money Davis gave her and how Mrs. Holmes can't protect her daughter from everything.

On the way to class, Aza runs into Mychal and he tells her to talk to her for him. Aza spots Daisy and drags her to talk to Mychal while she runs over to History. They text each other during class and Daisy texts Aza that she and Mychal are going to stay friends. Also, Aza texted Davis and texts him to meet her at Applebee's at 7 pm.

Chapter 22

Aza drives Mrs. Holmes' car to Applebee's, still shook from the car accident. She enters Applebee's and Davis sits right next to her. Aza tells Davis to sit across from her and says she can't date him anymore. They then talk about Noah before leaving. When Aza gets home, she texts Davis and in that conversation, Davis says that he needs to be liked in the real world than some people's imagination.

The next day at school, Daisy tells Aza that Mychal's art project is being shown at an art show located at "Pogue's Run", the tunnel that Russell Sr. was building, on Friday. They decide to go.

On Friday, Daisy and Mychal arrive to pick Aza up. Then, the band drives towards the art show.

The group parks in a parking lot and they head down to the gallery. The sewer is dark so they have to use helmets with lights on them to help them see.

When the band gets to the gallery, they see the art and Daisy and Aza decide to go for a walk.

During the walk in the sewer, Aza tells Daisy that she compares her OCD to the light on the helmets and the dark sewer tunnel.

As Aza and Daisy walk, the sewer smells Daisy says she wants to get rid of her OC based off of Aza, "Ayala". The girls keep walking until they find out they are in "the jogger's mouth" and Aza decides to tells her discovery to Davis.

Aza and Daisy interrupt Mychal talking to people about his art because of a curfew. In the car, Mychal says he had fun and Daisy blows it off.

When Aza gets home, Mrs. Holmes is horrified about what her daughter smells like and demands to know what happened. Aza tells her mother about the art show and the jogger's mouth. Aza says she will tell Davis about her discovery and that if the police find Pickett Sr. dead, the entire Pickett estate will go to Tua of the Tuataras. Aza and her mother agrees it's strange and Aza mentions that "we gotta be careful of what we worship".

Chapter 23

The next day is Saturday and the weather outside is a "wintry mix". Aza watches TV with her mother throughout the morning.

Aza thinks about her father a lot and how he would affect her life if he were still alive since he "died suddenly."

At 12:00 pm, Aza texts Davis to talk to him at her house, but Davis has to look over Noah and they agree to talk at the Holmes household at "five thirty".

While Mrs. Holmes is doing errands, Davis arrives and she tells that "the jogger's mouth" is "Pogue's Run". Aza also tells him that she smelled something there and Davis realizes his father is dead. Both cuddle each other until Mrs. Holmes arrives home. Davis quickly leaves.

At night, Aza texts Daisy and Daisy comes over to Aza's house to talk.

Aza and Daisy read Daisy's Star Wars fanfiction in Aza's room. They then talk about how people got hurt during their investigation and they survived.

After Daisy leaves, Aza sees Davis didn't text her, but instead updated his blog.

Chapter 24

After winter vacation, Aza gives her mother Cheerios for breakfast and sees the report about Pickett Sr.'s death on TV. She texts Davis that she's sorry for him and that she or Daisy gave their discovery to the police. Davis texts her that he and Noah decided to give the tip to the police. Aza opens up the callas on her finger and as she washes her hands, she realizes "I would never slay the dragon, because the dragon was also me." Aza and Mrs. Holmes then leave for school.

For a few months after the discovery of Pickett Sr.'s death, Daisy and Aza have "started a Mental Health Alliance and a Fan-Fiction Workshop" and both girls are the only members in them.  Aza realizes that she misses Davis, her father, and Harold (the car). "To be alive is to be missing." 

One night, in April, Davis stops by at the Holmes household and gives her a box with a gift in it. As Davis leaves, Aza asks him to walk with her outside and they walk towards the White River. They lie down next to each other under an ash tree and Davis tells Aza he and Noah will go to Colorado (Davis will finish high school there and Noah will go to a school "for troubled kids" there). Davis and Noah will leave the following day and it is followed by complete silence. Davis then tells Aza about some constellations and why he tipped the police. Aza realizes she and Davis love each other, but it was something they felt and that they were never in.

Aza imagines her future without Davis and says that "You remember your first love because they show you, prove to you, that you can love and be loved, that nothing in this world is deserved except for love, that love is both how you become a person, and why."

Aza realizes that the spiral painting she always liked in the Pickett estate is in the box (without even seeing it) and she and Davis say goodbye to each other before parting ways.

Originally published: 07/04/2021

Updated page: 07/19/2021 (sentence fixes and grammar fixes)