It was a freaking hot blistering summer day and the sun beat down on our bare tans. We were all outside getting ready to have a cook-out. Dad was heating up the grill to cook hotdogs and momma was inside gathering up the buns, chips, and the other stuff we needed for the dogs. Storm and I was playing in the new water sprinkler that dad had brought home. We both thought we were rich that day. I mean we got to play in the water. We kept running through it getting ourselves super wet. The water felt so good against our hot clammy skin.

Little River was just learning to walk at the time and he would try standing up and wobbling over to the water. Every time he got splashed he would jump back as if being stung by a bee. And little Dawn, momma had her on a blanket under the tree far away from the sprinklers, not wanting her to get all wet. She wasn't even crawling then.

My family spent practically every day outside, well as much as we possibly could. It was always too hot to play inside during the day. Momma said we needed the fresh air and soaking up the sun rays to make our skin golden.

That day, I remember daddy yelling for us to calm down. "Time to settle down guys, let's eat."

"I don't want bread," Storm yelled as dad was fixing his.

"Are you sure little man?" He asked again and when he only shook his head he was like, "ok here's a plain o'dog for ya." Then he looked over at me and said, "And what does daddy's little, I mean, big girl want?"

"I want a bun with mustard, no relish and maybe some chips."

I watched him as he put the dog in the bun, and squeezed the mustard on top with little curly-cues just the way I liked it. Then he started to put the chips on top of the dog. "No daddy, silly not on the hotdog."

"Oh sorry." He slapped himself on the head and then said "What was I thinking?" and he just laughed.

That was the thing about our dad; he always tried to get us to laugh. Back before then there was a time when he was fixing us breakfast and he actually poured the milk in the box of cereal. Yep, right in the box. He just laughed about it and said since he did that might as well eat it then. We ate breakfast that way that morning. He let me take a bite then Storm and then would take a bite for himself. We finished off the box of cereal. Later it dawned on me the real reason we ate cereal that way was because there wasn't a clean bowl in the house and the one spoon he rinsed off.

Now back to that hot summer day, we sat at the old picnic table eating our hotdogs in the blistering heat. The day was going by just like any other old day except something was not right, I could tell something was wrong and it was between my parents. You know the feeling that you get in the bottom of your gut that feeling like something is missing or how you know something is going to happen well that was that day. You could feel it in the air.

And that's just when the shit hit the fan. Momma started it. She always did. She was smoking and blowing smoke in the air right by Dawn. "You ain't even gonna ask me are you?" she huffed.

"Ask you what dear?" He tried to seem calm at first, playing the part of the perfect dad, perfect husband.

"What I think that's what damn it," she blew out more smoke as she spat back at him.

"Think about what?" Daddy started picking up the paper plates and throwing them in the trash bag.

"Yeah! That's how you are, never asking me what the hell I think, how the hell I feel. You ain't here all damn day with these damn nerve raking kids. They get on my everlasting nerves and here you are wantin' to just leave me to tend to them, they are your damn kids too you know."

"I know they are mine too, now it's not like I'm leaving you for good, I just got to get a better job and I will just be gone a couple of days now." He tried putting his arms around her like he always did when she was upset but she pushed him away and picked up the few things that needed to go back in the fridge. "Let's talk inside, alright."

"Sure, why the hell not, lord knows you can't argue in front of them." She gestures towards  us playing. "Don't want you to be the bad guy or anything now do we?" She took off walking into the house and he followed her into the house.

Storm and I continued to play outside all the way up until it was dark and the lightening bugs were out. We kept River and Dawn out with us, trying to avoid the yelling inside the house. Every now and then you would hear something breaking against the wall. I can't recall how long they argued but that night at bedtime daddy tucked me in.

"You alright daddy?" I whispered. I took my hand and moved his hair out of his face.

"Everything gonna be just fine sweetheart. Now I gotta leave for a couple of days, got me a new job and all. I gotta make some money to pay the bills and get food in your stomachs alright."

"You gonna be gone a long time daddy?"

"Maybe just a little longer than usual, but I will be back before you know it."

"I sure am gonna miss you daddy." I snuggled up closer to him.

"I'm gonna miss you more sugar; now while I'm gone you look after the boys and your little sister alright."

"I will daddy." And I did promise to watch after them.

I don't know how long my daddy was gone but I can tell you it was longer than a couple of days. And those days without him were miserable.

I was eight years old when my daddy left. Eight years old, defending for myself, taking care of my three younger siblings making sure they were taken care of. I had no clue how to cook; I was just tall enough to reach the knobs on the back of the stove. I just wanted to be a normal kid, you know. I wanted to be able to play, to run and to just sit back and have fun. Well that was never gonna happen again.

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Hope you are enjoying the story so far. Would love to hear comments, what do you think about Star, her siblings, and her parents?