On the hike back to the car, Mr. Shaw pulls Hayden by the arm and asks him to walk with him; while Mrs. Shaw and I walk far behind them. I'm sure he gets a lecture of some kind and more than likely it's about the two of us. So I assume he saw us and maybe more than what I had hoped.

The car ride home is super quiet and Hayden places his earphones in to listen to his music. He stares out the window on his side of the car. Every now and then Mr. Shaw looks back at him from the rearview mirror. I guess he is checking to make sure he stays on his side of the car.

I finally give up and look out my window and considering that I did not have my own music to listen to I end up dosing off to sleep.

When we get home, Mrs. Shaw wakes me up. Everyone else has already gotten out of the car and is nowhere to be seen. I get out of the car and go on  into the house. I make my way to the bathroom for a quick shower then to my room to brush out my hair.

I try to go to sleep and find myself climbing onto the roof. I had hoped Hayden would come out but he never does. I look at his bedroom window several times but his lights stay off. After about an hour I end up going to bed. I thought today was a good day. Well it was until Mr. Shaw interfered with it.

The next morning, Mr. Shaw and Hayden are already gone. Mrs. Shaw says that I could eat a pop tart or some cereal. I get up and pour some Fruit Loops in a bowl and then some milk. I try to eat, instead I start playing with the loops dunking them in the milk and watching them float back up to the top. I wait for Mrs. Shaw to say something but she never does. So I don't bother asking where they went.

After the second night of being alone on the roof and eating meals at the table in complete silence, I have had about enough. If he doesn't talk to me I'm going to combust and die.

I go straight to his bedroom door and knock but of course he doesn't answer. I know he is in there though because he has his music on and he is strumming his guitar until he hears me knocking but he cranks the music up a little louder just to drown me out.

I stomp all the way to my room and climb out the window. I  knock on his window, again he won't answer and the blinds are drawn so he can't see me standing there.

Dammit this is really pissing me off. What the hell did I do? So the only thing I can think of is to try talking to the window...how pathetic is that.

"Hayden, what's wrong? What did I do? Why won't you talk to me or even look at me? I can't live like this; if you don't talk to me I'm going to die."

I wait...nothing.

"Hayden please, please speak to me. I can't stand this..."

Dammit he is really getting under my skin. I give up and stomp over to sit at my usual spot on the roof. I bury my head in my drawn up knees and cry. I actually cry, real tears. Oh my god...I really do love him. I'm nothing without him. I can't make it through the day, the hour, the freaking minute of the day without hearing his voice or seeing that freaking unspoken smile on his face. This is freaking torture.

I don't hear his footsteps; I don't even notice when he sits next to me. Yet his arm comes around my shoulders and he pulls me into him to hold me close to him, I cry even harder. I don't have to look up to him to know it was him. He is the only one that has ever held me like this.

With the one hand he rubbed on my shoulder and the other hand was gliding through my hair. He pulled my hair out of my face and then took his hand along my chin and forced me to look up at him.

"I'm sorry babe; I wasn't trying to hurt you." His eyes were glassy and red from where he too had been crying.

"What did he say to you?" I asked him.

"What?"

"Come on, Mr. Shaw he talked to you on the way home from the hike. I know he said something to you. You haven't looked at me since then. What he saw us kissing; was he lecturing you to stay away from me."

"It's not like that."

"Hayden don't lie to me; I'm not a freaking kid I can handle it. Dammit you haven't looked at me in two days not even a glance and what you can't talk to me either. I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this."

"He's just looking out for me....and for you."

"Really! So what you're not allowed to talk to me now."

"He just doesn't want us to get close to each other."

"Why not?"

"Its' just that he says you have gone through so much in the past and even now you are just unstable and vulnerable. He just thinks that its' not a good idea to get close right now." He paused for a few seconds. "And it's not like you are going to be here for a while, soon the trial will be over and you will be gone, so why do this to each other."

"Wow" I froze for a second letting that sink in. "He is afraid that I will hurt you."

"Actually I think he is afraid that I will hurt you and you have been hurt enough."

"First of all I doubt that you could hurt a fly." I was surprised that I wasn't yelling, instead my voice was calm and almost unheard in a hushed whisper.

"Look it's just you been through so much and you need time to heal."

"I'm fine."

"Really Lib, I'm not just talking about you physically but emotionally...it takes time."

"Ok you got to stop talking to me like I'm a child and I'm so naive and don't understand what has happened to me. You want to say that I'm vulnerable and that I'm hurting inside. I can handle just about anything. I don't need you or anyone to tell me how I should be feeling or what I need or don't need."

"Lib, I didn't mean..." He sat up to look at me but I cut him off.

"Why don't you just tell me the truth? You don't want to be with me because I'm broken. I've been used and abused and thrown out like yesterdays trash..."

"Lib!" He reached out for me but I pulled away.

"No don't. You know I have seen a lot, way more than a girl my age should ever see. I was beaten on a daily basis for stupid shit. I have scars that you can see on the outside but those are nothing compared to the scars on the inside. Yes you may have been through a lot to, but you will never understand what I have endured. I was molested Hayden; I was raped by mother's boyfriend. And you know what hurt more than that; no one wants to believe me. My moma hates me and doesn't believe me. My father can't stand the sight of me. And the only one that I know believes me for sure is Storm. He caught him in the act that night. And I don't even have him anymore. They took him away from me like River and Dawn...so yes I am hurting and I am trying to heal and most days I can't even freaking breath without crying and..."

"Lib!" He kept trying to interrupt me but I wasn't having it. I had to get it all out.

"I haven't felt in a long time, to actually care about practically anything. Then I meet you and you are like, like, UHH! You're like...just forget it. I told myself not to do this, not to like you, not to fall in love with you. Look I know I will be leaving when this is over and your right why would you or anyone want to be with a messed up girl like me anyway...I'm broken damaged goods." And I cried more, not wanting to but I was so emotional and I let it all out.

I stood up and turned to go back to my room but he caught me before I went all the way through the window. His arms came up from behind me and he embraced me, holding me for dear life.

"Hayden."

"Lib...just stop. Dammit just stop." So I stopped trying to pull away and I let him hold me. His breathe on my neck giving me chills. The scent of him surrounds me and I want to melt in his arms. "You're not broken and you're definitely not damaged. It hurts to hear you talk like that...you're freaking amazing, you're stronger than anyone I know, you're perfect."

I turned to look at him. "I'm anything but perfect...Mr. Shaw is right I'm a freaking mess and you don't need to be with me."

"That's not what he said."

"Well that's what he meant. I'm not good for you. He knows that, you know that hell I know that. I'll never be good enough for anyone, Jackson made sure of that."

"Forget Jackson, he was a prick and he's dead, he will never be able to hurt you again."

"Well he is always there, because something will happen and he will be there in my thoughts, like right now."

"How can I make him go away, Lib help me make him go away."

"I don't know how. When I go to sleep he is there. When I hear a loud bang I think he is there. This trial and Dr. Gilbert and it's everything...the only time I'm not thinking of him is when I am up here at night on the roof with you. When your holding me so close and I can hear your heartbeat it's like he vanishes."

He pulls me in closer to him in a tighter embrace.

"When I'm with you, I feel...liked. I feel loved. You have never judged me for what I am. I've been called so many things from people before this and even now, those hatred people they don't even know me. I'm not a misfit teen, who wants to steal things to survive, lie to get by, or even a bitch who killed her mother's boyfriend or that poor little girl who everyone looks down on. I just want to feel loved and when I'm with you that's how I feel, will felt then you of all people dissed me. It's like you just stopped caring and you ignoring that I even exist...I can't..."

He interrupted me, "You are none of those things, you are right people don't know you and yes they are all judgmental but not me. I'm sorry...I was wrong. I thought I was helping you if I stayed away from you. I just don't want to ever hurt you."

"But you did. Ignoring me, that hurts more than anything."

"I'm sorry, I really am, please forgive me."

"Forgiven, but don't you ever ignore me like that again, I won't survive the next time. Promise me."

"I promise." He leaned in to kiss me on the lips. Those soft velvety lips, he makes me melt. "I love you my angel sent from God."

I laughed at that... "Awe...my beautiful freak, I love you too." And I kissed him again.