I want him to look at me.

I want him to talk to me.

I want him to hug me.

I want him to say everything is gonna be alright.

But he has locked himself in the bedroom and he won't come to the door. I can't go on the roof because they placed the bars on the windows.

I'm starting to hyperventilate and I need air. I need to get out of this house before I combust and die. So to hell with this, I just can't do it any longer. I open my door and run down the stairs as fast as possible. I run out the back door letting the door slam behind me. I'm sure that woke everyone up or at least startled them. I take off running way out into the middle of nowhere. I feel like my lungs are going to bust and my legs are throbbing from pain and I can literally feel my heart shattering into a million of tiny pieces. Is this what it feels like to be heartbroken?

I run till I just give out and fall to the ground on my knees. And I just sit there and let it all out. I sit there for so long that the sky is turning almost a shade of purple with hues of blues and pinks. It's getting late, but I don't want to go back into that house.

Suddenly I hear the ground crunching behind me. I'm sure it's either one of the Shaws or him. I know they all heard me leave the house. I'm just surprised no one came sooner to check on me.

"We need to talk." It's Hayden's voice that breaks the silence. Just the sound of his voice makes me want to cry even more.

"I know!" I'm wipe the tears with the bottom of my shirt, who cares what it looks like at the moment.

"I flipped out, I shouldn't have but I did. I know you said that you would show me and I was all for it, but dammit I never imagined that," he pauses. I guess waiting on me to say something but I have no words. "Lib I trusted you with what my dad did to me; I showed you and you were alright with it like it was nothing. I should look at you the same way and I do, but dammit it. I feel that if you trusted me you would have shown me the other night. I thought you could trust me with this."

"I do trust you," I whisper.

"Then why? You showed everyone there and you don't even know them. You let them all in but you didn't let me all the way in."

"I don't know." I say a little louder but I feel do bad for everything. He is right I should have shown him first.

"You do know....tell me...tell me now."

"Dammit Hayden. I would rather die than have you see me like this. To see what I really look like," I cry out. "That look, I seen you in the hall, that look that's the look I didn't want to see from your eyes. I can't have you looking at me like that all the time."

"So you thought that we might get together and somehow I would never see it. Really, I know you said you would have shown me but when? The only reason you did there is because they made you but when was you going to trust me enough to show me."

I stare at him and these freaking tears will not stop they just keep coming. I try to talk but I can't.

"When Lib, when were you going to trust me enough to show me. I thought we were close. I thought you were like my girlfriend or something." He is staring at me with those eyes of his. I look away. "You were never going to show me were you? Wow." He turns to walk away from me in disappointment.

I watch him for a split second and then start yelling, "No! No! I wasn't planning on ever showing you or anyone for that matter alright."

He stops walking and turns to look back at me. We are standing there looking at each other.

"Like I said, wow. Can I ask why not?" He shrugs his shoulders.

"I wanted you to love me. I needed you to see me. I knew this would scare you away. I didn't lie to you Hayden. I told you I was broken, damaged for life and you just didn't understand."

"You are not damaged dammit."

"The hell I'm not." I take off my shirt and I am standing there in the open with just my bra on and my jeans of course. "Look at me. Look. You don't want this." I start pointing to my scars. "Nobody wants to look at this everyday knowing what it stands for. You can't possibly want to be with this."

"Well it's not like you gave me the opportunity."

"I'm sorry, but let's be honest about it."

"Be honest, seriously...Dammit Lib. I fell in love with you the day you walked through that door. I fell in love with you that day we were swimming and you called me your beautiful freak. I fell in love with you every time I seen your smile, every time we sat on that roof just talking, just the two of us. I fell in love with you with you, not this shit." He picks up my shirt and hands it to me. "Put your shirt back on."

"Why does it bother you...it does doesn't it?" I dare him to tell me the truth.

"No! Yes it hurts me to know that you had to go through fucking torture everyday and that you have to live with this. If that guys wasn't already dead I would kill him myself."

"Funny how now everyone wants to kill a man that is already dead. I get it I do, and I'm glad you would have tried to stand up for me. But look at me, can you live with this day in and day out."

"Lib, I love you for you not for your body. I will always love you and I would never hurt you. And if this is bothering you so much then maybe you should do something about it. I mean they could do surgery to make it less noticeable or maybe get a tattoo to cover it anything to make it go away."

"Like I have money to do that," I huff.

"Hell I will help you if you need help. I got money saved up. You tell me what you want to do and we will do it."

I put my shirt back on, while he turns to look away from me. He is such a gentleman. He looks back when I am dressed again and pulls me into a hug.

"I'm sorry that I walked out earlier and sorry for locking myself in my room. I should have been there for you. I didn't know how to handle this but I'm willing to do whatever I have to do."

"Thank you and your right I should have been honest with you from the beginning."

As we walk back to the house he asks about the trial. Since he did not stay he doesn't know the outcome. So I tell him everything that happened. I even tell him about my dad.

"Seriously this Friday."

"Yeah! I know right. I don't want to go. It's not like he really cares. I mean yes he cried in court and accused my moma of not being there for us but he was never there either."

I look over at him and wait for him to look at me. "I don't want to leave you. You are the only person in the world who can calm me when I'm having a panic attack or from my nightmares."

"We will figure something out." He nudges me in the side and I smile back at him.

The next two days seemed to fly right on by. Mrs. Shaw says that I could keep all the clothes and other things that they had bought for me. She even helps me pack.

Hayden and I spend the two days talking and getting to know each other even more. He gives me his number so we can at least talk to each other every day. I don't have the nerve to tell him when I'm gone I might not even have a phone to use, but I'm sure that I find find a way.

Now it's Friday and the Shaw's have to drop me off at the church on the outskirts of town so that my dad can pick me up. The ride is very quiet all the way there. Hayden holds my hand and is playing with my fingers. I am trying not to cry but the tears just start flow silently. I manage to get out of the car and he pulls me into him. The Shaw's never said a word about it. I turn to them and thank them for taking me in for a while. I turn back to Hayden and bury my face in his shirt, listening to his heart beat until Mrs. Shaw says that it is time.

So here I am standing in the parking lot. My dad is here standing behind me next to his car and I'm watching Hayden go farther and farther away until the car slowly fades away.