The following week was horrific, going over and over all the details. Honestly I was just so freakin' exhausted. Most nights during the week I just went on up to my room to bed, grabbing a bite to eat along the way just so I wouldn't feel too sick to my stomach. I didn't even noticed that I had been losing weight, seems like I would be the same or at least gain some considering I am eating more now that I have my whole life.

By the time Friday came around, I just wanted to stay home in bed. However I didn't; that's the day everything went down.

I drag myself out of bed, after the fact that Mrs. Shaw had already came to my room to get me up twice. She has breakfast ready of course but I am running late and so I grab a banana and a cereal bar from the table.

By the time we enter the court room, everyone else is already there. I am asked to go to the witness stand again..dear lord when will this all be over.

"Star do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

"I have been," I pause then state, "I swear."

"Star we talked already with Storm, he has admitted to everything. We need you to confirm the story." The lady lawyer smiles sarcastically I might say.

'No he wouldn't do that; we made a promise to never tell a soul. Wait did he really confess, no way, he wouldn't do that. Uhm! Maybe she is just trying to get me to confess. What do I do? What if I lie, what if I tell the truth, what if...'

"Star."

"What did he say?" I ask.

"Well for starters, he admitted to killing Jackson. He said it was self defense. But you see there are a few holes in his story and we know you were there. Star just tell the truth already so we can settle this."

"I don't know what to tell you?"

"How about starting from the time he started hurting you?"

"You know that already, I been telling y'all this every day, but you just don't want to listen." Yes I give her attitude, but dang it's like talking to that back wall and it ain't listening to a darn thing I'm saying here.

"I meant when he started to molest you Star, did he go farther than that, sexually?"

Alright, I wasn't expecting her to come right out and say that and she wants me to answer. I have all these people staring at me and there's my momma sitting, watching to see what I have to say. I try to hold back the damn tears; I will not let them get to me. I'm not ready to talk about that, not now, not here.

Then that damn lady just won't shut the hell up, "Star we have talked with your mother, she denies anything ever happening between any of you kids. She stated that Jackson was a very nice father to all of you. Helped ya'll out a lot over the years."

And that's when it pisses me off, the fact that no matter what I ever say, my momma will never believe me. I look over at her for a long time and she finally looks up and we stare at each other for a few seconds. I was trying to get a vibe from her, anything for crying out loud, but nothing. I lost my momma a long time ago, today I lost her for good. This will be the last time that I ever confront her. So I start talking, why because I need her to know, to know the freakin' truth and my eyes never leaves hers the whole time.

"When you were passed out, wasted from whatever you were on, the alcohol, the drugs whatever it was you were on, when he was done with you, he came to me. You couldn't satisfy his needs because you were always out of it." She glances away for a second then back up to me. "I had just turned thirteen and he said, 'how nice it is that you're a young woman now; I been waiting a long time.' Told me he could make me feel good all over and I deserved to feel good. At first it was just touching you know, like under my shirt then under my bra and down my panties, just touching. I started to lose count of all the times he came to my room. The more he came to my room the farther he went. I was threatened, and I knew if I said anything he would go after her next."

"Go after who?"

I try to fight back the tears. I knew he would hurt her like he did me and I could never let that hapoen. "Dawn...he said if I refused, if I caused any trouble he would get it from her and she was so little she didn't have a chance in hell."

Momma stands up and yells from her seat, "Your such a lying bitch, you never liked him, you hated him, you hated me since the day your father left. You're lying; Jackson would have never done that."

"Silence in the court," yells the judge, "one more outburst like that I will throw in jail for the next week, you understand."

My momma never says a word, but I can tell she was thinking about it. I could tell by the look that she keeps  giving me.

I try to so hard to hold back the tears, but I was so pissed off at her. I wanted her to know the truth and I wanted her to believe me. "Your right momma, I did hate him. I hated him with a passion. I prayed everyday for him to disappear and if he died and went to hell then so be it; he deserved it. I hated him because he took something from me momma. He took my innocence, my desire for any intimacy with anyone else, he took my faith, love, body, he freaking took everything momma. But what makes me hurt even more...you, because you were there the whole time and never done a damn thing about anything. "

The tears roll like a freaking stream now. "Momma I felt so guilty; I even feared to go to sleep at night. I was so vulnerable and I shouldn't have to tell you, you should have known. Momma he threatened me and if I didn't do what he said he said he would go to Dawn. She was so little, how could I ever let what happened to me, happen to her. Momma I would never lie about this. You were there in the next room and not once did you come to try to save me. Not once did you even bother. He finally broke me...and...and" I start sobbing and when I get a breath I get out the last part. "I finally gave up, figured if I just laid there and not put up a struggle he would hurry and leave me."

Momma had been looking down but when I stop talking she looks up and glares in my eyes. They were red from where she was crying. She stands up and without a word walks right out the door.

Well I guess you can say she didn't believe me. She would never accept the truth that Jackson would do such a thing, after all Jackson was the all American good father figure. I guess that's all you would notice when you're strung out on drugs and alcohol. I hoped inside that I would never see her again.

Judge Taylor starts talking then, "At this time I would like to ask that everyone leave the courtroom, except for the jury and the lawyers, Star can you please stay seated."

I watch as everyone stand up and leaves as I try to wipe my tears. And that's when I notice in the far back of the room, there he is, my father. I haven't seen him in so many years, but I know it is him. He is the very last one to leave. He looks so devastated. I wonder why now, after all these years, why now would he show up right out of the blue. When the door finally closes behind him the judge gets my attention.

"Star, I wanted everyone to leave because I feel like we might be able to talk more without all the distraction. Your mother had no right to say that and she shouldn't have left but it is what it is."

I clear my throat, "It's alright, she has never believed anything and why would she; she was always wasted and passed out in her own little world."

"Now that it's just us here, no rude interruptions, Star can you please explain what happened the night Jackson was shot?" asks the lady lawyer.

"I don't know really. I remember I had my dresser pushed up to the door because I wasn't able to lock it. Jackson had taken the lock off years ago. I guess that way he had easy access to me. That night I just wanted to sleep for once. He was so angry. I remember him banging and trying to kick the door open. He yelled for me to move the damn dresser or I would regret it. I thought of Dawn for like a split second and so I got up and moved the dresser out of the way. He had taken his belt off to whip me. It was the hardest he ever hit me and I think I must have screamed out. I guess it woke up Storm. Honestly after that everything went blurry then black. I don't know exactly what happened. When I came too, Jackson was laying on the floor beside me; there was blood everywhere. At first I thought it was mine and some of it was but most of it was his. I didn't know he was shot until I tried sitting up.

"So he was shot?" she asks again.

"You already know that, why ask such a stupid question?"

"All right we know he was shot and I assume you didn't do it because you were passed out, so that leaves Storm."

"I don't know, all I'm saying is that when I woke up Storm was sitting in the far corner of my bedroom with his head between his knees. I didn't see a gun."

"Guess that's all for now your Honor."

The Judge shakes his head, almost in disbelief. "All right let's call it a day, we will return in a couple of days I will let you know when at a later date."

And since it was a Friday night, it happens to be game night again at the Shaw house. I would rather just go to my room and be left alone for the next week, but of course I knew that wasn't going to happen.