Songs to listen to while reading:

Human – Rag'nBone Man

Let You Down – NF

I cover the back of my head with my hands, I don't know what I'm doing. That's what people do in the movies when people start shooting right? Not like the bullet wouldn't go straight through my hand and into my dumb ass brain but it's the thought that counts...

"Follow me." Harry states firmly, grabbing my arm to lift me from the ground. He analyses the room, his eyes never staying in one place for too long while he takes the gun out from the back of his trousers. Uhm, since when did this man have a gun hidden in his pants? You know what, I'm just not going to even bother questioning it anymore.

I don't understand why he has a gun though when this was supposed to just be a fancy ball. It's like I can see the thoughts flowing through Harry's head as he tries to create a plan. He then starts jogging towards the exit in which I follow close behind.

We leave the lounge area and start making our way down a corridor until we find a small bathroom that has a toilet and a large sink. Harry drags me into the bathroom and closes the door behind us, locking it and then taking the key out of the door. He puts his gun onto the counter, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Harry yells, pulling at the roots of his hair as he begins to pace the bathroom.

He looks angry, really angry. I don't think I've ever seen him this angry, even when I hid his Cheerio's and pretended that I'd eaten them all. "Those dumb assholes!" He shouts again, slamming his hand against the sink counter, causing me to take a step back.

"What's happening?" I decide to bite the bullet and ask Harry since the gun shots are still being fired in the other room.

He starts to pace again, "Zayn and Liam set the bomb off too early and fucked up the whole plan!" Harry explains, throwing his hands in the air as he rants.

"What plan? What bomb? I don't understand." I ask Harry, as my eyes watch him pace the small bathroom as if I was watching a game of tennis. My eyes drift to the gun that is sitting on the counter every few seconds, I've never seen a gun before and it's intimidating to see one so close to me.

"We came here tonight for work, the people who are the hosts of the party are part of our rival gang, Mendacious. We were supposed to set the bomb off as a warning since they fucked with King but we were supposed to wait until they had their welcoming speech so everyone was in the same place. Liam and Zayn, the dumb fucks set the bomb off way too early and now all of Mendacious know that we're here." Harry explains, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration.

I'm not even sure how to reply to Harry so I don't, I just stay silent and watch him pace. He suddenly stops and walks up to me, holding my cheeks into his hands. "I need you to hide in this bathroom, do not let anyone in unless it's me okay? I need to go out there and find Niall and Louis. I will only be a few minutes." He instructs.

The only reply I can muster is a nod which seems good enough for him since he hands me the key, grabs his gun and leaves the bathroom. I lock the door once he has left, my back slides against the back of the door before I sit on the floor.

Harry and I were dancing. Harry kissed my neck... or did I imagine that? And then a bomb went off. And then people started shooting guns. Well I did have a bad feeling about tonight but I thought I was going to trip or spill food on my dress, not this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do in a situation like this, I know that I'm not going to leave this bathroom until Harry comes back for me. What if someone else tries to come in?

I can't believe Harry brought me here, I thought tonight was just a normal night but when is anything ever normal in my life... Oh god, what if Harry gets shot? What if he doesn't come back to find me? What will I do then? I need to calm myself down before I start having an anxiety attack.

I stand up from my seated position and make my way towards the sink. I look at myself in the mirror, my lipstick is slightly smudged and some of the hair that was in my bun has fallen out. I stare at myself, "You're fine, everything is fine." I whisper. Turning the tap on before cupping my hands under the water so that I can have a few sips to try and calm me.

A few more minutes pass before banging at the door startles me, I back away as far as I can from the door. Please god, let it be Harry...

"Lexi, unlock the door. We need to leave now." I release the breath I was holding and walk towards the door and unlock it.

Harry barges through the door and grabs my wrist. He peeks his head out from the bathroom to check if there is anyone to his left and his right, then dragging me behind him as we run through the corridor and out the front door. We run until we reach his car, we both climb in as fast as we can. I shove as much of my dress into the car as I can before giving up and shutting the door on the bit of dress that I couldn't fit.

Harry skids as he takes off quickly, probably leaving tyre marks behind from the speed of the car. My head rests on the head rest and I close my eyes, taking deep breathes. "Are you okay?" Harry asks me, not taking his eyes off the road in front of him.

I laugh humourlessly at his question, "No, I'm not Harry. Why the fuck did you bring me with you tonight if you knew what was going to happen? You could have at least told me so that I could have prepared myself!" My voice raises the more that I speak.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like that Alexa, I would have never brought you if I knew that was how it was going to turn out." He states, flexing his hands on the steering wheel as he drives what must be 10 miles over the speed limit.

I turn in my seat so that I am facing towards Harry, "How would setting off a bomb ever have a calm end to the night, hm?"

"Niall was supposed to set the timer and we were all going to leave before it happened! It was Liam and Zayn who set it off too early!" Harry's voice begins to raise as he starts to get more frustrated with me.

"You didn't answer my question, why did you even bring me with you tonight Harry?" I yell at him, getting angrier by the second. I think the anxiety from tonight that has been building up has turned into pure rage and I can't seem to stop taking it out on Harry. This isn't going to turn out good, I know it.

"Because I had to! King said we all had to take dates and said it would be the best decision if we took you girls with us, I didn't have a choice okay!" He screams, throwing one of his hands in the air.

I turn my body towards the window so that I don't have to look at Harry anymore. "I knew tonight meant nothing." I whisper to myself, hoping he didn't hear me.

"You know what? Fuck this." He mutters before taking out his box of cigarettes and pulling the last one out with his mouth. He starts fumbling in his pocket for his lighter and petty Alexa comes out to play. I rip the cigarette from his lips and lift it to my eye level, grabbing a hold of the cigarette at both ends before then breaking it in half. Harry looks at me dumb founded and I give him a petty smile in return as I throw the remains out the window.

"What the fuck did you do that for?" He asks in a calm voice but I can tell that there is pure rage written across his face along with the shallow breaths he is taking.

"I told you that you shouldn't smoke and you pissed me off." I reply, crossing my arms over my chest.

Harry doesn't reply to me, I don't even realise that we're already back at his house until he parks his car into the garage and gets out the car, slamming the car door shut a lot harder than necessary.

We walk into the house in silence, I start making my way up the stairs as fast as possible so that I can go to the bedroom before Harry sees me cry, I don't know why I feel like I'm about to cry. Maybe it's just because I'm tired and I don't like when people yell at me.

I enter the bedroom and sit on the end of the bed as I try to take off my high heels first, my feet are killing me and the pain killers are starting to wear off so my body is starting to hurt again, how wonderful.

I hear Harry's footsteps stomp up the stairs, I assume he is going to his room but the bedroom door slams open and hits the wall with force before Harry enters.

"I don't understand why you're so fucking angry! Nothing happened to you." He snaps at me, I really don't feel like arguing with him anymore tonight.

"Whatever Harry! Just please fuck off, I don't want to see you. Just get out!" I hiss, struggling with the strap of my high heel which isn't helping with my anger.

He laughs humourlessly and shakes his head while staring at his feet. "I should have asked Stacey to have gone with me instead, would have been a better night." And just like that, he leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

I just stare at the door with my mouth slightly open in disbelief as a tear slips out of my eye and slides down my cheek. I know the way that he said those words, it was out of pure spite. I never thought Harry would be someone who would intentionally hurt me but I guess I was wrong since I cried myself to sleep that night.

Why am I never good enough?

Authors note:

Me trying to find where Harry found the audacity:

Okay well i'm not saying anything but just keep the last two chapters in mind for later. Might be important, might not. We'll have to wait and see ;)

I love all of you beautiful people.

Your love on Liberosis makes my heart so full.

See you in the next one!

~Jess💜