!!! If you don't want to read this don't but please check the little a/n at the bottom *does finger guns* !!!

Hi, I don't have a therapist and I need ya talk so here we go my bois

First: every time I listen to brother let me be shelter I think if my Nephew that I haven't met and is probably going into the foster care system because my brother is to much of a fucking ass to help his goddamn son. I mean, he has been flip flopped all around from relative to relative because his mom apparently cares more about herself and what ever the hell she does. I mean, my nephew is in Canada and all but I just want to be there for him. The one line that really hits me in that song is "You're the blood of my blood." I mean I do interpret it differently than the song but still. My nephew is the blood of my brother, who is my blood. When I turn 18 I am fucking flying out to Canada and being there for him. His dad never even sent him a goddamn card for his birthday or Christmas. He's to involved in his business and "to busy for a kid."

2: I really want to meet Jensen, Jared and Misha (the actors who play Dean, Sam and Cas in spn) because they've done so much for me and I just want them to know what they've done but my parents are so overprotective I'm not even aloud to watch spn. Hell im not even aloud to have this app or AO3 or shit like that. And apparently they have a key log on my phone so they can see what I type and what I look at. Well Mom, if your reading this; there's no way in hell you're taking the things that keep me happy away so for-fucking-get about it. I just wish I could meet or hell, even just get noticed my J2M so they could at least know what they have done for me. I don't remember if I mentioned this but I struggle with depression and anxiety and about 6 months - a year ago I was going to go down a really bad path that'd lead to me probably dying. I knew I needed to find something to help me cope and that was the time I started watching spn. Well I started watching the panels with J2M and all that and they made me laugh when nothing else could. I mean nothing, every time I laughed at that time I faked. 

3: okay last one I promise. So my birthdays coming up. (Sep 8th) and I was talking to my cousin yesterday and I asked what she's gonna get me for my birthday. She just looked at the screen (we were face timing) confused as said 'what' so I asked again and she repeated what she did. I asked one more time and she said, and I quote to a T 'oh, I thought that meant you were going to get me something'. Like that the everloving fuck. Right when we had gotten a great relationship back (we went through some things and kinda spit our relationship into pieces) you go and say that shit. I know I'm sounding selfish and all but still wtf. It's my birthday, not yours. Get over it you little bitch because everything but about you

Okay, that's it. But I finally got the first chapter of Saved done and I may or may not be releasing it for 24 hours bc I kinda want an opinion on it, so when you see this and you wanna check it out (it's a Supernatural fic so if you don't watch it you probably won't really get it) and tell me if you like it *does finger guns*