▽Modern AU

△Levi x Reader

△s/he/they

FYI 👉 Self harm present in this story.

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It doesn't seem to stop.

09:34 p.m.

I've been at it for hours now.

Somebody, please...

I want it to stop...but the more time passes by, the more it seems to flow out of me.

No matter how loud or how painful I express it, no one is coming.

Anybody...?

No one ever comes to my aid when I needed them the most.

Never once, not even now, will anyone save me from these clutches...

Please...

These clutches of my inner demons.

Help!

These inner demons eat at me every second of everyday.

Perfection.

The necessity to keep up my status and image.

I'm sorry.

That fake smile I always wear so no one notices that my pain is weighting my sanity down.

That fake 'teacher's pet' demeanor I always out on that breaks down my own morals.

That 'smart child' act that pressures me to no ends.

But it still isn't enough.

I'm so sorry...

It's never enough.

Just like the never ending wave of depression that hits me every time I shut my true self out.

I can't reply what comes to mind.

I can't react like an improper lady and student.

I can't live however I desire to.

I can't let people in truly.

I can't let my life slip yet...I can't grasp it myself.

Make it all stop.

Never will I be able to be free.

Always trapped in a cage of perfection and depression.

Why can't I be free?

Even if I am, I can't share my real self with anyone.

They will only judge me and break me further.

Why won't someone accept me?

Not a single person alive will come for me as I desperately cry myself until exhaustion.

Why can't someone free me?

I looked to my drawer that held the sweet relief to my problem for a temporary time frame.

Am I not worth the effort?

Always having to solve my problems this way.

Always having to rely on these instruments of self destruction.

Am I not worth the time?

One for status.

One for image.

One for pride.

One for the name.

Why can't they tell I'm suffering...?

One for falseness.

One for betrayal.

One for selfish desires.

One for hope.

Am I just...not worth it?

One for life.

"Someone...help me..." I whispered out loud in words for the first time in my (age) years of living.

I'm calling for help.

So someone, anyone, please rescue me from this hell.

Don't let me live as a fake.

Don't let me live as a captive.

Don't-

"(Name)?"

A voice calls out my name.

A voice that has such a warm yet familiar feeling.

"Where are you, brat? Your parents called for me to babysit your ass again. " His grumpy voice echoes into my hearing range.

Ahh...of course.

How could I have forgotten?

"Oi! Answer me will y-" he stopped in mid sentence as he witnessed my pathetic form.

Damn.

"Levi..." I croaked out with a dry mouth and throat.

I wish he hadn't see me like this.

Bloody, useless, shameful and broken.

All that effort of hiding it from him...

"(Name)?!" He then rushes to my side in a fast blur of a motion.

"Hi." I managed a weak minuscule smile.

A real smile though.

One that I have only had the privilege of showing a few times in my life.

"Don't 'hi' me! What the hell did you do?!" He shouts at me furiously while he sets me in a sitting position by using the side of my bed as back support.

"The usual. " I spoke then saw disbelief, sadness and shock spread across Levi's flawless features.

"Stay here. " He whispers out after shakily examining my 'work'.

Don't leave me.

So I sat there, contemplating life again as more tears sprang out like a faucet.

But no noise was made from me.

Like how I had been taught.

Won't this just stop for tonight already?

He came back in a few moments and started to clean me up.

"Why...?" He asks as he bandages my forearm.

"Because nobody will rescue me. " I replied after racking for an answer in just barely above a shaky whisper.

Nobody ever does...

I felt wetness on my bandages and I looked up from my lap just to see something that made me experience a new type of pain.

Levi was crying.

Is it...because of me?

"Levi-?" I called out to him just to have him cut me off.

"I'll rescue you. I'll be here for you. I'll stay by your side and be your savior, so please! Please, stop this..." he cries silently and pleads to me with a frail voice.

"I...Am I worth the troubles?" I said with a quivering lip as I clutch my shirt. "I'm broken and pathetically weak. I-"

"Stop! You're anything but those things! You're beautiful, caring, kind and most of all, you're full of compassion. I know this because we've been together since we were kids for fuck sakes! So when will you realize, (Name)? When will you realize that I'm always here... " he spoke as he embraced me tight.

I let his words all sink in one by one.

He's here.

I clutched onto him like he was my anchor and cried my heart out.

But surprisingly in an emotion I've never had the chance of expressing it in.

Joy.

Because this time, Levi was there.

He was there to save me from my demise.

From myself.

He's my somebody.

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Well I'm going through some shit and I just felt like writing this.