"What type of clothing do you like to wear Jiyong?" Minji asks pulling a shirt off a rack and holding it up to my body.

"I don't know, whatever fits and is clean" I say losing interest.

Minji places a hand over her chest like she's just been stabbed "I'm going to forget you said that, here let's start with these"

She hands me a couple articles of clothing and moves on to another rack "ooh, I think you have the perfect body for skinny jeans"

By the time I'm pushed into a changing room, my arms are overflowing with fabric, in many different textures and colors.

I sigh and start to undress. I figured out quickly that Minji is the type of person you really can't argue with. It's best to just smile and nod when it comes to her demands.

"How's it going?" She asks just as I throw on a pair of those so called 'skinny jeans'

"Am I wearing these right? Are they suppose to be this tight?" I ask, pulling at the pants hugging my thighs.

"Let me see" she says stepping into the small room with me. "Yes. i was right, you look great in those."

I looked at myself in the mirror and turn slightly, admiring my legs. I had to admit, I do like the way these look on me, even if they are a bit constricting.

"Now, try one of the shirts" Minji says and starts to remove my hoodie.

"Woah, wai.." I try to stop her, but she pulls it over my head before I can. She freezes, staring at me wide eyed out of shock. I place my hands over my upper body to hide as much as I can, but its to late, she already saw them.

I didn't have to look into the mirror to know exactly what she saw. Scares litter my upper body, ranging in size and shape. I always try to conceal as much as I can so I don't have to deal with getting the look Minji is giving me right now.

Her eyes find mine and tears brim up in hers "I'm sorry... I didn't think..."

"It's ok... I actually kind of like them" I admit removing my hands. "it's like a bunch of little trophies that I carry with me, reminding me that I survived, that I've been to hell and back, but I'm still standing"

Minji smiles "you know, I think I'm starting to really like you Jiyong"

I feel the corner of my mouth lift slightly "I think I like you too Minji" I turn slightly and pick up a red cardigan "do you think I can pull off red?" I question.

She smiles that eye crinkling smile "actually, I think it might just be your color"
.......

"We should get you one of these" Minji says pulling me into a cellphone store.

"No, Minji, you've already bought me so much today" I protest.

"Listen, I've been sent here today with dad's creditcard, there is no limit... seriously dad wants us to spend money on you"

I hang my head, feeling a knot pulling in the pit of my stomach "does he think it can make up for everything?"

Minji stops talking and her expression somber's instantly "No, I don't think that's how he meant it" Minji sighs "dad sees the condition you had to live in, and I'm sure he's guilty that he wasn't there for you... but I think his desire to take care of you now, do what he can to make sure your going to be ok from now on is where his heart is" Minji reaches up and places a hand on my upper arm, she's the only person who's been brave enough to touch me without asking first "I think he honestly just wants you happy Ji, he's not trying to make up for anything, he just wants to take care of you"

I nod and finally catch something, smiling a bit "you called me Ji"

"Is that alright?" Minji questions.

My smile deepens "yeah, it sounds nice to hear it again... So...what type of phone should I get?"

Minji beams and laces my arm through hers, leading me into the electronics store.

....

My arms were overflowing with bags and they were beginning to feel sore. We had been shopping all day, and even though I was starting to like this whole shopping thing, I was still not use to the physical exertion it put on your body.

"Minji, how much longer?" I whine as she stands at the makeup counter trying to decide between two different shades of pink lipgloss "I already told you that the frosted pink looks better with your complexion"

She laughs "and I told you that though I'm proud of your answer, you are still a guy and your opinion is not yet trusted"

I roll my eyes and slump my shoulders letting the bags rest on the ground. This has turned out to be a fun day, but I was exhausted and just want to go home and crawl in bed.

"Would you like to try out some makeup while you wait on your sister?" The woman behind the counter, who has been helping Minji, jokes.

I set the bags on the floor at my feet and sit in one of the swirly chairs and stare at the makeup samples in front of me, actually considering it.

"Can I see that" I ask, pointing at a small black eyeliner pen.

The beauty counter girl looks surprised for a second, but then smiles and hands me the pen.

"Do you need help?" She asks almost giggling.

I shake my head "nope, I remember how to do this"

I begin to swipe the charcoal black substance across the bottom of my eye and suddenly the memory of the first time I did this swarms my mind.

"Ji, where are you?" Seungri calls coming down the hall, and into our mom and stepdads room. "What are you doing?" He asks smirking at me.

"Mom does this, and I was curious to what it looked like on me" i say trying but failing to make a straight line across my eyelid.

"Boys, what are yo.... well don't you look pretty" our mom says smiling brightly when she comes into the room behind Seungri.

I giggle "you're lying, but thanks"

"Here, you have to rely more on your wrist, over your fingers, like this" she says showing me how to do it better.

I smile once she's finished and blink at her "how does it look?"

She laughs and looks at me adoringly "you look beautiful Ji, my baby's all grown up"

"Mom, I'm only thirteen" I say rolling my eyes at her.

She smiles and wraps her arms around me, rubbing her hand in small comforting cirlcles across my back like she always did when she wanted to show me comfort "promise me you won't grow up to fast, ok?"

I nod and hug her back "of course, I'll be the kid and you can be the parent forever"

She laughs and kisses my head "sounds like a deal"

I pull back, once I've finished putting my eyeliner on and blink a tear away at the memory that popped up with the action.

"Woah, Ji... you look great with eyeliner on, and you did it so well, how did you learn how to do this?" Minji asks standing beside me.

"My mother taught me" I say and hop off the chair, picking up the shopping bags "let's go, I'm tired"

"Ok, give me a minute to pay for my makeup and I'll catch up" she says turning back to the beauty counter woman.

I started to walk away but catch Minji whispering to the sales lady that she wanted the black eyeliner to. I had to smile at that, but at the same time it burned.

Of all of the days you had to pop into my head, you choose today? When I'm finally finding a little bit of happiness, you have to find your way back into my life? I think bitterly to myself. Will I ever be rid of you? Will I ever stop thinking of you, Mother?

I really need to stop letting my past show to the world. When the walls go up, pain stays locked away, the way it needed to. I didn't want to distance myself from everyone, or push them away, but it's less painful this way.

This is the moment that I will always remember as the moment when the walls went up... and I quickly found myself wondering if they would ever come down.

.......

I had pleaded exhaustion when we arrived back at home, and went directly upstairs to my room, even though my mind felt wide awake, I just wanted to be alone.

I was hanging up all of my new cloths up in my room when there was a knock at my door.

"I'm in the closet" i called.

"I imagined it being a different setting when you finally told me" my dad joked.

My eyes met his with a 'really' expression and he cleared his throat, straightening.

"Well it looks like you two, did some major shopping today... I'm glad" he stated propping himself on my closet doorframe.

I sigh "Minji didn't really give me a choice"

My dad barks a laugh "yeah, she's like that... thank you for going with her, it meant a lot to her"

I close my eyes "I didn't really do it for her, I did it for Seungri, I made him a promise... and...I'm trying"

My dad nods "you're a very good brother Jiyong, no matter who you did it for, I'm sure it made both of them very happy" he grabs the sleeve of one of my new shirts hanging next to him feeling the texture of it "listen Jiyong.... I want you to know that i'm proud of you, I know this isn't easy... honestly the strength you have in you to keep moving forward after everything.... well it just makes me proud to call myself your father"

Tears brim up in my eyes and I meet his gaze, and I found myself wanting to collapse into his arms, letting everything I've been holding inside spill out while he holds me, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything,  "thanks" is all that came out, and I instantly hate myself for not being able to seek comfort in my own father.

He nods, seeming to understand that I'm just not there yet "Oh yeah, I know it's not the same frame, but this one is better, and the glass is shatterproof" he says pulling out a picture frame from behind his back and handing it to me. It held the picture of Seungri and me.

I took it from his grasp with shaking fingers, looking it over... not a scratch over the picture and it even looked professionally set. My thumb ran over Seungri's face, and I couldn't explain how touched I was.

My head snaps up to thank my father, truly thank him for once, but he was gone. I step out of my closet, but was met by an empty room. I sigh and shuffled over to the bed, crawling under the covers and holding the picture frame against my chest. Soon dreams of Seungri and me pull my consciousness under into a peaceful and happy sleep.

>>>>>

Weeks pass just as though I had been here from the start, and I was beginning to understand how this family worked. I got closer to Minji and have started to actually see her as a sister, but getting to know my brothers was a different story entirely. I had two of them, one younger and one older.

One of my brothers is named Minho, he's my half brother and the youngest, but he's really mature for his age. He doesn't really spend a lot of time at home, he's usually out with his friends jinwoo and Seunghoon, but from what I have gotten a chance to hear from him, he's pretty cool.

But my other brother, my step brother that Hwa Yun had from a previous marriage to my dad. His name is Kyuhyun and I'm pretty sure he hates me. Every look i get from him is either some type of disgust or annoyance, so most of the time we ignore each other.

Nevertheless life with this new family was begging to become routine and to someone who was constantly guessing where their night would end up, it was welcome. My problems of course didnt go away overnight, i still awoke in the middle of the night shaking, and covered in sweat from dreams i could never remeber. Or when I would flench or cower away from someone who was speaking to loudly and/or seemed angry.

My demons still haunted me as they always have, but somehow i felt safer here, with this family, even if i failed to understand what a normal family was suppose to fuction like.

I have this persistent doom feeling that always follows me, but i've been told many times that this feeeling that something bad was going to happen, the metiphorical 'knife drop' as its called, will pass with time, and i just need to keep moving forward as i have been.

I had started school with Minji and though she was a couple of grades behind me, we still got to go to the same school, which was comforting to have someone I knew there. I was pretty much left alone at school, mostly due to Minji warning people off, but also due to the fact that no one really wanted to talk to me.

"It's a certain look in your eyes" Minho says one night at dinner.

"What look?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

Minho gets a warning glance from my dad and I immediately understand "oh... so people pity me more than they want to know me" I whisper, finding the table suddenly really interesting.

"It's not that they pity you Ji, it's just that... you look like someone who's been through a lot... and people don't really want to make it harder on you" Minji pipes up.

I sigh "I guess that's a good thing, I should be thankful that they leave me alone, even though it's annoying that people see me as so fragile"

"Have you talked to Dr. Park about this?" Hwa Yun asks.

I nod "yeah, he says its a good thing that I still hold pride in myself, but sometimes I distance myself to much from people... So basically the same things he tells me every week"

Dr. park is the therapist I'm being forced to see twice a week, it was one of the conditions that allowed me to go home with my dad so quickly, that I attend regular sessions with a shrink.

Dr. Park was also Hwa Yun's go to problem solver, if I was having a bad day, I went to see him, if I was having difficulty with something it's always 'have you talked to Dr, Park?'. It was kind of annoying, but I knew her heart came from a good place, so I left it alone.

My dad picks the perfect moment to interject into my thoughts "have you picked an extra curricular activity yet? you could make some friends that way"

The other condition to being released from the hospital early, I had to choose something to invest my time in. Something that kept me busy and would help me get more in tune with myself.

"No, not yet... I never really had free time before, so I don't really know if I have any interests" i bite at my lip nervously, a habit I have when too much attention is focused on me.

"Well we're just going to have to fix that" Minji says smiling. "You're sixteen, we can find something for you to do"

"I don't understand why everyone treats him like he's a damn prince or something" Kyuhyun suddenly says slamming his chopsticks down on the table.

"Kyuhyun" Hwa Yun gasps "don't talk like that"

"I'm serious, Everyones been acting like he's royalty and catering to his every need since he got here... well I'm tired of walking around on pins and needles"

My dad fixes Kyuhyun with a look "don't talk about your brother like that"

Kyuhyun rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest "he's not my brother" then his eyes find mine "look Jiyong I know you've been through some bad shit, but you're not special because of it and I refuse to treat you differently"

I feel a smile pull at my lips "thank you, honestly that's what I want too, to be treated like everyone else Kyuhyun" I place my chopsticks down on the table "I'm finished, may I be excused?"

Hwa Yun stares at me surprised "O-of course Jiyong"

I bow as I stand up and thank everyone for dinner, then leave to my room. I know Kyuhyun will be reprimanded for his words, but to me they come as a comfort. I'm glad at least one person sees me as just another person. I don't want to be seen as fragile, or have people place my needs higher than anyone else's, I just want to be normal.

>>>>>

"Come on Jiyong" Minji giggles "I promised I would help you choose something today"

Rolling my eyes, my feet drag along the ground as Minji drags me through the streets of Seoul.

We pass a few clothing shops, and some office buildings before we stop at a small bookstore "what are we doing here?"

She turns to see what I was staring at "I was trying to remember the way to the shopping mall, it's either this street or the next"

"Can we go in here?" I ask.

She raises an eyebrow "an old bookstore?"

"It's cute, why not" it's my turn to pull her, and head into the small area covered in books.

I look around for a few minutes before realizing Minji was following me around, seeming really bored.

I smile "if you're bored, you can go across the street and get some ice cream and I'll meet you over there in a few"

She laughs "see, I knew I loved you for some reason"

My heart picked up pace and I swallowed hard, just watching her walk out of the store. I didn't understand but hearing her say that, didn't make me happy like it should... it just made me feel guilty for a reason I didn't know.

I shook it off and started to look around more, finding a couple of books I decided to buy, but most I've already read.

When I was about to leave the store, I heard a weird sound coming from next door. It was a distant yelling, but from multiple people and the sound of muffled bangs and pounding, like people were fighting on carpet or mats.

My eyebrows knit together and my curiosity got the best of me as I found myself moving towards the noise. The door to the building was slightly open and I could hear the noises getting louder. I peek inside, stepping across the threshold only slightly, hesitation invading me.

"If you want to go in, then do so... you actually look like someone who could use it" a voice barks behind me.

I jump and whirl around "w-what?"

A man stood behind me, probably in his mid thirties, but looked very well taken care off so he could pull off late twenties if he wanted to.

The curious man chuckles "I'm just warning you though, it'll change your life, but not always in the way people suspect"

I bite my lip "what's in there?"

The man barks a laugh "well now, life is full of that question isn't it, but one foolproof way to find out... is to go inside"

"Who are you?" I blurt out.

The man smiles and holds out a hand "Kim Jong Kook at your service, and what might I call you?"

I smile at the grown mans childlike enthusiasm "Kwon Jiyong"

"Ah, its an honor to be in the presence of a dragon", I'm about to say something back but Jong Kook walks around me and steps through the door "come on inside... you might just be surprised by what you find on the other side, and I don't just mean that in the literal since" he says over his shoulder.

I hesitate again, looking around and take the phone Minji bought me out of my pocket and send her a text, telling her to go ahead to the mall and that I'll catch up with her later.

I suck in a large stabilizing breath and step through the entrance into something I never even imagined on how life changing it would be.

Hello my Chickens!!

What do you think Jiyong could be walking into? will it change his life for the best or worst? i guess you have to keep reading to find out!!

I couldn't help but make Minho as one of Ji's brother, like seriously has anyone looked at those two? Come on, tell me they are secretly brothers or something! And I just love Mino, he's adorable! 😆

Sorry for this update being a little bit of a wait, I needed to put a lot of information in this chapter, but there wasn't a lot that happened, action wise. So it was hard to write, plus I managed to get sick, but I'm not going to go all whiny on you guys. In Kris's words "it's not my style"

I love you guys and I promise the next update will be out sooner than the last.

사랑해💕

~M~