It's morning. The sun pours through the green binds, making Anika groan. She is not used to this— well, has not been for a while. Things had been good for a while— at least a few weeks now, and writing those journals made her feel better. Maybe if she didn't poke her nose every where, and just had written the events in normal way, she wouldn't have been feeling this. All these heavy emotions which made her head spin and heart hurt. 

Why did she had to open the old wounds? 

Her phone pinged, and she abruptly sat up, startled. Rubbing her eyes rather vigorously, she yawns. Grabbing her phone from the stand beside the bed, she switches it on. Bright light flashes, making her blink. Curtains still drawn up, the phone was the only bright thing in the room. 

Adeela, it reads. 

She suddenly sits up straight and holds the phone tightly as if it will disappear from her hand. and reads it again. Fuck, she thinks, quickly typing her passcode. Her mouth dry, and her heart again pounding, she opens up the message. 

hi. let's talk about what you found.

Her eyebrows drawn together, Anika reads the message again. And again. Then, she sees Adeela is still typing something. So, she waits. Two seconds which seems like two hundred with increased heartbeat. Another message pops up.

only if you find something. 

whatever radhika is hiding. 

And then she goes offline. Anika inhales sharply, her eyes widening on last sentence. She doesn't type anything and instead leaves it on read. She needs to think. Maybe she can leave without Adeela absurd yet useful theories, but she can't ask Radhika that how she knew everything. 

Because that is just impossible. 

-

(the entry)

Do you ever wonder why trees are green? Or birds sing? Or why humans talk the way they talk? I used to, until I got other things to worry about. Like life, studies, career or even what happened last year? Is what I think is what actually happened or am I just assuming things because I self-obsessed? 

They said I am self-obsessed the last time we all were together. They said I am too selfish, too thick-skinned and insensitive to care about others. It is true?

I don't know. I really didn't think about it; at least not for a while right now. But writing this entry, even thinking about it makes my head hurt. 

Akash crossed his arms tightly across his chest, and stared at me. I couldn't meet his eyes. I mumbled, "I am sorry," 

Akash incredulously said, sarcasm dripping from his words, "You are sorry? For what?"

I tried to explain, "Nothing. Not telling you about Sanjhana's parents—"

Oops. Why do I always crumble under pressure?

Akash yelled, "Parents? Her parents? When did that happen?" 

I finally looked in his eyes. Hurt, disappoint, anger; it flashed in his obsidian eyes. Stark and clear. 

Biting my lips, I said, "Before I came here." 

He didn't say anything. His demeanor however did. His arms and chest tightly coiled together, his lips pressed together, his forehead crinkled with lines. He looked really angry. 

I defended myself, "I never had time..." My gut twisted, as he expression slowly changed. 

Akash raised his hand, stopping me. He shook his head, "You don't have too." It's the emotion behind his voice that broke me. My chest constricted, and tears welled in my eyes. Expressions disappeared from his face, shutting me out. 

He was beyond mad. 

I tried again, "Akash. I am sorry. I never meant to—" I felt bad; but I wasn't the only one with secrets. And now that I see, maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. 

Akash snapped, "You know what? I don't want to hear it. This is not the first time you hid something. And it won't be last." He said the last sentence with such finality that I staggered slightly. Leaning against the rough surface of tree, I blurted, "Well, Radhika told me that you met Sanjhana that night." 

Why can't I keep my mouth shut?

Akash bitterly said, his teeth clenching, "And you believed her? Without even asking me?" 

I shrug my shoulders. He threw his hands up in air, and snarled, "She just offered Kartavya money, and you still believe her." 

I stared at the ground. Her betrayal was still stinging. I sadly said, "But why would she do this?" 

A small tear escaped my eye. I quickly wiped it. It seemed like their were too many secrets, too many questions and not enough answers. 

Akash just said, "That's Radhika. She is epitome of secrets." 

There was something about the way he said; so, I had to ask, "Akash...why do you think so?"

This time Akash shrugged his shoulders. Uncoiling his hands, he said, "I don't know. That's what she has been doing ever since we arrived here?" 

I raise my eyebrow slightly, waiting for him to continue. He does. He starts, "First day, she wasn't there."

I defended, "She was. When we arrived, and then at the dinner table." 

He said, "Exactly. Where was she rest of the time?" 

I simply said, "Who knows? You know na, she has other friends too?"

He taunted, "I know. But why did she disappear from dinner table? Huh?"

I still didn't get his point. "Who knows?"

He tried again, "Fine. Okay, here is another example. How about the time—"

Adeela arrived. She always had this perfect timing thing. Whenever Akash and I were alone, Adeela somehow managed to come there.

She was panting. Akash asked her, "Did you just run a marathon?"

Adeela cracked a smile. She breathed out, clutching her sides, "This place is so jumbled up."

I asked, confused, "How did you know we are here?" 

She simply said, "Akash followed you. He shared his location. I arrived."  

I sighed. Akash and Adeela share a look over something. Whatever. 

Adeela finally said, "The question is what is Radhika hiding this time?" 

I finally snapped, "This time? You both keep saying as if Radhika does this all the time." 

They both stare at me; there looks enough to speak volumes. I said, "Fine. Yes, she is mysterious. But that doesn't mean—"

Adeela said, pointing around, "Adeela look around. We are standing literally thirty-mins away from our tents, no one is here; and still Radhika knew Kartavya would be here." 

I tried again. I don't know why but I had this urge to defend Radhika. Maybe she was hiding something. But what if she was doing it for our good? 

What the hell was wrong with me? Did I drink something accidently? How could I have been so stupid?

Adeela rolled her eyes, "For god's sake Anika, stop being so dumb!" 

She continued, "It's almost dinnertime. Wasn't Radhika supposed to show us the letter then?"

I am so so so dumb. I still asked, "And?"

Adeela enunciated, as if explaining a small child, "It takes 20 mins to reach here if you run. Of course, Radhika of course, didn't come here running like a madman with all that cash. She could have been stopped by any teacher or student. So, she walked here, which means it took her at least 30-45 minutes. But, I saw her standing there and talking to our physics teacher just before I arrived here." 

I told them, dumbfounded, "What? How is that even possible?" 

Akash made a face and said, "Anything is possible as long as it's Radhika." 

I said, "I get it. Radhika might be doing something wrong; but don't you think you are being too paranoid?"

Adeela smirked, "God! Anika, stop being so self-obsessed." 

I didn't say anything. Akash just shook his head and said, "Adeela, stop it. Anika, think about what we said. Maybe you will find more circumstances of Radhika hiding something; especially ever since she died." 

I bit my lips hard from saying anything. Tension flared up in the air as silence consumed us. Akash mumbled, "Come on, Anika!" I refrained myself from saying anything. 

He cracked a small smile, telling me to drop things for a while. Let them cool down. 

Why should I be the one to do it? Still I did it. Adeela turned around and left. Akash turned too, but I didn't move a inch. He mused, "Come on, na." 

I pouted staying there itself. He grabbed my arm, and pulled me along with them. Offering me another small smile as peace treaty, he started walking; still holding my hand. I saw Adeela scowling other something, but I didn't think much over it. 

We walked quietly. We might have shared a joke or two, Adeela told me about how the lectures were going, and Akash kept sharing his inputs. It seemed like nothing ever happened; and we all were best friends like before. Throughout the thirty-five minute journey, we didn't take their names. One dead, and one hiding something. 

After reaching the dinner table, we sat down, without knowing what was about to hit us. 

Radhika arrived with her plate, Kartavya standing behind her. 

With his plate. 

I asked, "Um, Radhika—"

She cut me, "Guys, this is Kartavya. And he is joining us for the dinner."

-

um, thoughts?