WARNING
Just a warning this is a story who is suffering from depression, cutting, any self harm, suicide, suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts. Please don't read if you are triggered by those.
END OF WARNING

Crying for hours doesn't help me at all. My family is a wreck. Poor Michael has to deal with it. My mother is sitting on the bed with me just staring at the floor.

"Mama. You need to come with us. I hate that you live here and are still putting up with this." I whispered to her. She only nodded in response.

Michael was pacing back and forth in my bedroom. I know he was doing everything in his power not to beat the shit out of someone again.

His shoulders tensed everytime he sighed and muttered to himself. His dark green t-shirt flexed everytime he turned to face back in the opposite direction. His dark jeans swished as he walked fast.

I definitely don't deserve that man. He has been my knight in jeans. I always hated shining armor. Jeans are sexier.

"Hunny. I can't leave your father. Just take care of yourself." My mother broke my train of thought.

"Mama. No. Please just think about it at least." I whispered.

She only nodded and kissed my forehead and left the room. I sighed watching her walk out my white bedroom door and turned my attention to Michael. He was now staring at me.

"I know what I want to do right now. But I need you to tell me what you want. I need you to explain what the fuck is happening and why the fuck we aren't calling the cops or leaving. Or even both." Michael said. His fists were at his side balled up tightly. Which made his arms look even stronger.

"I want to go home. Trust me. I want to go to the cops. But I want everything to be on the table for my dad, Ryan, and Tyler. I want to be able to forgive them." I said looking up at him through the years in my eyes.

"Forgive them? Fuck babe. I knew what was going on. You have told me everything but I thought they would at least feel remorse or even say I'm sorry. Something." He said exasperated.

"Me too Mikey." I said in a small voice.

I heard his footsteps get closer as he sat next to me and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"I'm so in love with you. I know you need to take this step to being better for yourself and for the future. It just sucks because I can't fucking save you from all this. I can only protect you from what they might try to do." He said throwing his arm over my shoulder and kissing my forehead. I smiled up at him.

A knock at the door interrupted our quiet. I sighed wondering who it could be.

"Minnow. Can we talk?" A voice came from the other side.

"It's Ryan." I whispered to Mikey and he nodded. He got up and opened up my bedroom door.

Ryan nodded at Michael and Michael just stood there staring.

"What do you need Ryan?" I asked.

"Can we talk Minnow. Please?" He asks.

"Go ahead." I said.

"Alone." He stated coldly staring at Michael.

"No." Michael and I said at the same time.

Another rule we had before we showed up. Never alone in a room with anyone unless it was just us two.

Ryan sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Does he know everything?" Ryan asked rudely.

"By he you mean Michael. My fiance. He knows everything. I don't keep secrets from him." I said walking closer to Michael.

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Look. I never knew Tyler was taking it so far. I never knew what we were doing was hurting you so badly you felt the need to try and take your life. I have done the shittiest job as a big brother. I can never ask for your forgiveness because no matter what I do it won't be good enough. I'm sorry for my part in your life that made is so bad that it got to this. We were best friends back in the day and I miss that."

"I appreciate your apology Ryan. I accept it also. But I'm going to make it clear. I can tell Dad and Tyler will never feel bad for what they did. But you and I will never be the same again. I came back to lay it all out on the table and to get Mama. That's it. After that I'm not coming back." I said moving closer to Michael.

Being closer to him made me feel stronger. He was my rock to lean on. I explained to him I would need him more then usual. I couldn't do this without him and his support.

Ryan nodded staring at the both of us.

"I did a shit job of taking care of her. Please take care of her." Ryan said to Michael.

Michael scoffed. "I will do a hell of a lot better." He muttered.

"Good." Ryan answered and turned to walk out of the room. I stood by Michael's side until he walked out of the room.

As soon as the door closed again I started crying again. Michael enveloped me in his arms. "It's ok my love. That's one down. One down and 2 more to go. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." He whispered in my hair.

My crying subsided after about 15 minutes and I just leaned on Michael. I was exhausted but I couldn't give up just yet. But if I didn't sleep I would delve down in to an abyss of more hatred and I don't know if I could pull myself out of it.

I lifted my head and looked up at Michael.

"I think we need to sleep before we do anything else." Michael said wiping my cheeks.

"You read my mind love." I said softly smiling up at him.

He grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles. We walked downstairs ignoring the yelling of Tyler and Dad still going on.

I hugged Mama as I left and she smiled. "I'm not done. I will be back tomorrow." I said to her softly and she smiled and nodded.

Michael grabbed my hand again and we walked out the front door and jumped in to his Jeep.

Hopefully I can sleep tonight. Hopefully I have no nightmares that make me feel like I used to. Drudging up the past has definitely brought up some old demons inside of me and they are tearing down my will power quickly.