WARNING
Just a warning this is a story who is suffering from depression, cutting, any self harm, suicide, suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts. Please don't read if you are triggered by those.
END OF WARNING

Getting through to my Dad was impossible. I knew it would be. With him it's a losing battle. He is never not drunk

I can't remember a time when he wasn't drunk or even high. I have an inkling it was always pills for the high but I never wanted to find out anyway.

Michael wraps his arm around me as he sits next to me at the island in the kitchen.

"I was just thinking of the first day we met." He whispered. I know he was trying to make me feel better. But I didn't know how I felt at that moment.

I felt numb. Nothingness. I forced a smile and he kissed my forehead as I stared at my coffee keeping my hands on it kept my hands from shaking.

I sat there for what seemed like moments when I realized Michael was grabbing my shoulder.

"Babe....babe." he said softly.

I jumped and looked over at him.

"Babe. Let's go back to the hotel. Tonight's not a good night to talk to anyone." He said softly.

I nodded and then finally came to my senses. I had been sitting at the island for over 2 hours. The tea was long past cold and there was yelling in the background.

I looked at Michael confused and he grabbed my shoulders.

"Baby. We need to leave now. Your Dad is past belligerent." He said quickly as he pushed me my jacket.

As I was walking out the kitchen door I saw my father and brother screaming at each other. I couldn't make out what they were saying. Especially my father who was so drunk it was so slurred.

I stared at them as my dad threw the first punch and I hid my face in my hands when I heard a very distinct crack. My mother screamed and Michael yelled at me to get to the car.

I couldn't move. I was frozen until Michael ran to me and picked me up and threw me in the passenger seat.

My Mom was grabbing my brother as Michael went back in to help my Mom. I'm not even sure how long I sat there as my mom and brother got in to the back of the car and Michael sped off.

20 minutes later we were in front of the hospital. Everything was a blur. The check in. The room we all were rushed in to. The cops coming in to speak to us. Well to them.

Michael said I just stared at the wall. For 4 more hours.

I finally came to as I stood in the shower with Michael.

"Michael....I'm scared." I whispered softly. I was afraid he wouldn't even hear me.

"I'm here love. Fuck I'm here and I'm not going anywhere sweet girl." He said as he held me close to his naked wet body.

I softly cried on his shoulder as the shower washed away my tears. Michael washed me, dryer me off, and laid me in bed.

"I'm going to check on your mom and brother. I will be back in 5 minutes. Stay right here and we will order room service when I get back." He said softly and kisses me on the forehead.

As I sat there on the bed alone all I could think about was getting a release. To somehow stop this itch on the inside of my body out of me. To open myself up and to purge this feeling out of me.

I started scratching my leg and I scratched deep and hard. Wanting a feeling other then absolutely nothing. I let out a small cry when one of my nails finally broke skin and I started to bleed slowly.

I winced from the initial reaction but finally breathed out a sigh of relief.

Until Michael came in the door. I was sitting there staring at my leg but when he shot through the door I looked up abruptly.

"Willow." He said softly.

I immediately started crying. Fuck I wasn't supposed to do this. I shouldn't feel this way. How did I fall off so quickly? Why am I like this?

His arms encased me as he took me to the bathroom and only left to get the first aid kit in his bag. He slowly took care of the scratch I had put in my leg.

"I'm s-so-sorry." I hiccuped out.

"Love. I promise you, you will get through this. I'm here to help. But if you don't talk to me I can't help you. Mind reading isn't in my repotoire." He said in a soft voice.

I nodded only wanting to feel his arms around me.

He grabbed me and laid me on the bed.

"Please hold me." I cried out softly.

He immediately grabbed me and kissed my hair. He murmured sweet things and just held me as I cried. I didn't want cutting to be my first thought. But after all the therapy and after everything I have put into not being this way, it happened that quickly.

I don't know what time I passed out but when I woke up I was still in Michael's arms and it was 930 in the morning. I looked up at him and smiled.

He was sound asleep but his mouth was slightly open and he was snoring lightly. I kissed his bottom lip because that was all I could reach from my current position.

He muttered something in his sleep and stirred awake. He groaned and pulled me in tighter as he smelled my hair.

"Don't leave this bed ma'am." He muttered and I chuckled in his arms.

"I need to pee." I whispered.

"Liar." He said back.

"Ok. Then I will pee in this bed if you squeeze me again." I said and he immediately let go.

"So gross." He said jokingly. I got up and shrugged and walked into the bathroom.

When I came out just a minute later I heard talking from the front door.

I walked out and saw my mother and Michael speaking.

"Hey Minnow." Mama said.

"Hey mama. Is Ryan ok?" I asked. I had no clue what happened at the hospital.

"Broken jaw. He needs to stay there a few days. They put in the pins and out the huge metal head brace on to keep him still. Are you?" She asked as she sat on the edge of the bed with me.

"I'm ok." I said softly looking up at Michael. He just smiled at me and his hands were shoved in his jean pockets.

"I'm leaving Daddy." My mother broke the silence.

"Really?" I asked surprised. A smile grew on my face by the second.

"When you leave I'm leaving. I bought a ticket last night. Ryan is leaving too. But he is going to a rehab for his anger issues and everything else right after he is done at the hospital." She said with a smile.

Good. I got mama. And Ryan is even getting help. Something else has come out of this that is good.

I look up at Michael and he is just stating at me.

I broke his trust last night. He's afraid to leave me alone.

The last time I had a setback he didn't leave my side for 2 months and only did because of an away game that I couldn't be at.

I reached out for his hand and he took it and knelt beside me.

"Don't leave my side." I whispered and he nodded understanding.

That itch was back and it was stronger this time. I squeezed down on his hand as he looked up at me realizing what was going on.

"How about we get ready for the day and we will meet you downstairs for brunch Mom." Michael suggested quickly while he eyed me.

I was about to have a breakdown and he already knew the signs.

Mama left and he was back by my side in a flash.

"I'm here. I'm here." He whispered in my hair.

I broke down in his arms again.

I got mom. Ryan is getting help. Dad is going to be arrested if Ryan presses charges. Why am I crying like this?

Because I'm weak and pathetic. Michael deserves better. He deserves someone who isn't a ball of sadness or a high risk.

He deserves so much better.