WARNING
Just a warning this is a story who is suffering from depression, cutting, any self harm, suicide, suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts. Please don't read if you are triggered by those.
END OF WARNING

She craved a feeling. A feeling other then feeling lost. Feeling alone. Feeling worthless. The only way she could get is when she slid that small razor across her wrists.

She always knew that she could cut across the tracks and still be ok. She didnt haven enough guts to cut down the tracks. At least that's what that movie called it when she was watching TV late at night.

A slight slice to the wrist made her wince in pain for just a second before she smiled down at her wrist. Feeling anything but what she currently felt in her heart made it all seem ok. Like the feelings could ooze out of her with her blood.

She sighed and rested her head on the bathroom wall as she sat in front of the sink cabinets. Her stash stuck behind some drywall where no one would ever find it.

After a few minutes she was cleaning it up so no one would find out. Her hoodies and long sleeved shirts always hid what she had done. Her jeans always hid the ones on her legs.

No one ever saw her in anything else so it never mattered if someone were to see it. The one guy she had a huge crush on ended up being her biggest bully.

Tyler.

She fell in love with Tyler in the 2nd grade. He was her big brothers best friend. The 3 of them were inseparable. Until the 6th grade. She confessed to him that she liked him and he laughed at her.

The next morning he started picking on her. Little by little it escalated into full on shoulder checks, being shoved in the hallway against a wall, making her kiss him or touch him anyway without penetration from his manhood.

She shuddered at the thought of how he touched her not even an hour ago. They were alone in the house. Ryan, her brother, was over at his girlfriend's house. Their mother out shopping and their father was at work like always.

He slammed her against the hallway wall near her room. She was just trying to escape and get away from him when she realized no one else was home.

His hands were underneath her shirt and he was sucking on every part of her body that he could. Then his finger shoved in to her pants as he roughly pushed 3 fingers in her. She cried in pain with no one to hear her.

She sobbed as he forced her to finish him off with her hand while he fingered her. Her came all over her shirt and then left her crumpled in the hallway.

She had jumped in and out of the shower to wash him off. That's what led to her cleaning up her arm. It tingled but the bandage would keep it from bleeding on to her shirt.

She softly cried while she placed her hand on her mouth so no one would hear her. Tyler was still in the house somewhere.

A knock on the door broke her out of her thoughts. "Minnow. Dinner." Her brother said from the other side. "Ok. Gimme 10." She answered back. "Now dumbass. And what the fuck did you do to Tyler? Hes pissed and I know it was your fault?l." He pounded on the door again.

She stopped in her tracks. Tears stung the sides of her eyes. All those feelings of him forcing her to touch him and his rough fingers made her want to vomit.

"Well whatever the fuck you did. Don't do it again. If you weren't such a fucking slut maybe someone will actually like you." His parting word hurt her even more.

She had no one. Not even her brother. Tyler turned Ryan against her after she confessed her feelings. Tyler told Ryan that she tried to have sex with him and he forced her off of him.

A bunch of lies is the reason she is in this position today. Shes in 11th grade now. Still waiting to hear back from the college admissions office. Her high school signed off on her graduating early. Now she just waits until she finds out if the college has accepted her.

Whatever god or entity is out there she prays to it tonight that she can leave and never look back at this place. If she doesn't get to leave she may just have to find peace on her own terms.