WARNING
Just a warning this is a story who is suffering from depression, cutting, any self harm, suicide, suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts. Please don't read if you are triggered by those.
END OF WARNING

I couldn't concentrate on the book in  front of me. The words in my Economics book swirled around and my head ached. I ran my hands down my face and winced as the bruise on my lower jaw shot out in pain. 

I might need to get that checked out. The bruising hasn't gone away and my jaw slightly clicks when I open it. I sigh as I hear footsteps in the hallway. My door is locked because I needed to study. My last two finals for 11th grade were tomorrow. I had a meeting with a college advisor and my high school advisor after my finals to get in to college early. I needed to get out here. I can't take it anymore. If I can't leave then thats it.

I have the pills ready under the bathroom sink in a hidden compartment behind the plumbing. Its where I keep my razors and my first aid kit. I can't live anymore if this is how its going to be. 

A soft knock on the door stirs me out of my thoughts. "Sweetheart. Its dinner." my mother said from the other side. My poor mom. The only one who is going to miss me. My father is never home, his job keeps him away and he doesn't care about what happens to me. He hasn't in years. I used to be his little girl and then one day it just stopped. Well you know about my brother. I don't even want to begin speaking about him. I sighed trying to calm myself before answering. "Be there in a minute mama." I answered. Her footsteps retreated back downstairs to the dining room. 

I smooth down my white t-shirt and my jeans. As I walk down the stairs I can hear my brother and his best friend at the table. Blabbing on about some new girl in their senior class.

Ryan was the first to see me and his eyes flitted to the bruise on my jaw. He looked confused and then smacked Tyler. Tyler was the one that had done this marvelous jaw job on me. Tyler's face was blank when it reached mine and he just shrugged his shoulders at my brother.

"Take a seat by Tyler sweetheart." my mom said. I stared at the seat and slowly sat down. Prayers were said and everyone dug in. I stared at my food and wondered how much I could eat before my jaw couldn't take anymore. I sighed as I took small bites. Every time I opened my mouth I wanted to cry in pain but I knew no one could know. It would just get worse.

What made this dinner worse was when the boys would jump up to get more food or get up to move around I would flinch. At first the boys just smirked and by the end they were laughing at me. My mom hushed them down and told them to stop being such jerks. After dinner I helped clear the table, hoping to be able to run upstairs to get back to the safety of my room.

After I was done I went upstairs and ran to my room. I locked the door behind me and slid my back down the door plopping  my butt on the floor. I softly cried into my hands. I have to leave soon. I can't keep doing this. I can't even eat anymore.

A creak of the floorboards near me caught my attention. I looked up through my fingers that were covering my face. Ryan was sitting on my bed and Tyler was rifling thorugh my paperwork on my desk.

"So...baby sis...you going to tell me what you did to deserve that shiner on your jaw? Or did it actually break this time?" Ryan asked chuckling at the end.

Tyler smirked, "If she can even talk." he muttered. Tears invaded my eyes again. Fuck now I was stuck. "Damn dude. I told you not to fuck her up that much. Just a few shoves." Ryan complained. Tyler shrugged. Asshole just shrugged and smiled evilly at me.

I opened my mouth a bit to say something but my jaw clicked and I whimpered in pain. "Oh poor fucking baby. Maybe next time you won't be such a fucking nosy skank and leave people alone when they are in the hallway." Tyler said stomping over to me grabbing me by my shoulders and lifting me up. I whimpered softly and he laughed. "I pushed her in the hallway Ryan. She fell and smacked her face on the side of a table in the hallway. Bitch did it to herself." Tyler said pushing past me, unlocking my door, and leaving my room.

Ryan sat on my bed staring at me. I stared at him for a moment and then quickly down on the floor. "Do  you need to go to the hospital?" he asked softly. I shook my head and he just stared at me. "Don't let your pride get in the way. Let me take you." he said standing up and throwing my jacket at me. I nodded and he took me to the hospital. It was the first time ever he had tended to me since Dad started to ignore us. 

It took hours in the hospital room. Like 6 hours. The cops showed up, I had to make a statement but the statement only read that my brother took me to the hospital as soon as I came home from school when he realized my fall had broken my jaw. If I were to ever speak of their names in a way that would get them caught I would be in even more pain later on.

As we got into the car after the visit I was exhausted. "Thank you for not telling on Tyler. I know he can get handsy sometimes but its his anger. He really is trying to take care of it." Ryan said softly into the silence of the car. I nodded slowly. All I could think was...what about you? Why do you take your anger out on me? Why does Tyler even do it? Why do you allow it? Does it really matter if I get to leave tomorrow?