I WALKED into the living room to find my family sitting there. My footsteps came to a halt as my mother's head snapped in my direction. She offered me a bright smile motioning me to come.

With furrowed eyebrows, I approached my mother sitting beside her placing my bag on my lap leaning over to her ear not to make too much noise because it seemed like Abba and Safiyya were having an intense conversation.

"Mama, what's going on?" I asked as she turned to me, the same smile still on her face as she leaned close to answer my question. I had a feeling what it was but I was hoping I was being too paranoid.

"Hameed is coming tomorrow to ask your sister's hand in marriage tomorrow. I think you should call up Khalil—" Her voice seemed to fade out as I sat there paralyzed wondering how I could wriggle out of this situation. But that was the problem, I can't.

My eyes darted to Safiya who had a huge smile on her face, nodding as if confirming the news. I felt a lump crawling up my throat but I managed a smile.

"Congrats." I mouthed to her and she smiled, sending me a wink.

"Sumayya." I heard a deep voice call my name sternly when I snapped out of my thoughs. I glanced around the room to find everyone's attention was trained on me.

"Your father asked when Khalil is coming over." My mother spoke staring at me weirdly probably wondering why I was spaced out. She was probably going to ask me later and I prayed she wouldn't.

"I—I" My eyes bounced between my parents nervously fiddling with my veil wondering how I could say it without getting cussed out.

"Khalil and I haven't been together for some time." I admitted earning a gasp from my mother that was expected, my father's face remained blank, and Safiyya's mouth was agape her eyes bulging out their sockets.

"And you decided to tell us after we asked you? It is clear you're unserious about this and you've been making a toy of the situation. Any of the two, you'll face what comes next. Leave!" His voice boomed in the spacious room leaving the rest of us immobilized for sometime before I ducked my head in shame, not being able to meet his eyes.

I parted my lips to try to make sense of the situation, but the harsh glare my mother sends me seals my lips shut. I nodded pushing myself off the soft cushions silently letting myself out of the room.

I drag my feet to the kitchen gulping down a whole bottle of water holding my head in my hands wondering how my life turned out this way not bothering to acknowledge my sister walking into the kitchen.

"What you said about Khalil, is it true?" Safiyya asked quietly fiddling with the rings decorating her hands.

I let out an irritated breath. "It's true. I requested for a break." I admitted tiredly.

"Then that's good news." She clapped with a huge smile on her face earning a questionable look from me.

"You asked for it not him. Khalil loves you if you haven't noticed. No man will tolerate you and how you treated him in a relationship but he did. And still he treated you well nonetheless. You might not love him and I know I'm not in the place to tell you this, but he'll treat you well. He loved you more than you do for him and he's okay with that. You won't get another man who can do that for you. He literally knows you're not okay from a simple reply. Love comes after marriage." Safiyya advised her voice soft with understanding.

I never cared to think about it. I've been in a relationship with Khalil for two years and although there were good moments due to our goofy sides, there were bad moments and he was there for me through them. He was charismatic, good looking, a good reputation and had was known for his hard work earning more than enough working in his father's company as the Director. Any girl would be lucky to have him but I haven't been treating him well recently but he still stuck by me. He never made a move to end the relationship and as ungrateful as I was, I was the first person to demand a break for him and he never complained.

"Let's settle for him okay?" She tried earning a nod from me as I reached for my phone blinking back my tears.

"I'll try calling him." I sat up looking for my phone easily finding it on my nightstand. Reaching for it, I went to my call log dialling his number which was sent straight to voicemail.

"He isn't picking up. It's going straight to voicemail." I looked over to Safiyya with my hand on the left side of my face. It seems like he was tired of my behaviour and I couldn't blame him. He tried his best and I was being stuck up to him the whole time.

I shot him a text looking up at the ceiling with a sigh.

Safiyya looked over to me with a raised eyebrow before she reached out snatching the phone out of my hands prompting me to glare at her.

She nodded in agreement to my text wrapping her arms around me. "It's all my fault. I'm really sorry for this." She apologized out of the blue causing me to furrow my eyebrows looking up at her.

"You did nothing wrong. It's not your fault but mine. You're innocent in all of this. I should be apologizing for ruining your moment. I'm sorry." I whispered getting emotional as I buried my face in her shoulder letting a few tears escape.

Our conversation was cut short when my phone pinged from a message and I was quick to raise my head as Safiyya handed the phone to me. A relieved sigh escaped my lips when I saw it was a reply from Khalil.

The text read a simple 'yes can we talk' and I couldn't have been happier. I didn't particularly love Khalil but I knew he loved me with his whole heart and I didn't have the luxury to be picky with something as fickle as love.

"I'm going to go change he's coming over." I informed Safiyya earning a happy squeal from her.

I was quick to my feet after replying him and he informed me he was in the area. I quickly went snatch one of the dresses on my hanger to throw on. I analyzed my face in the mirror applying some lip balm on my chapped lips.

My phone rang with Khalil's ID on the screen, gaining my attention picking the phone off my bed to answer the call.

"I'll be right there." I rushed out just as the gate buzzed on his line signaling he was driving in. I sighed making my way out of the house where I noticed his car was parked at the end of the driveway. He was leaning against one of our cars a few feet away.

I walked towards him with a soft smile on my face seeing him so focused on his phone with furrowed eyebrows. His eyes raised from his phone to meet mine offering me a lazy smile in return.

"Lead the way." He murmured motioning me to start walking towards the gazebo where multiple chairs were placed. He lowered onto one of them placing his phone on the table in front of him.

I sat on the chair opposite him nibbling on my lip nervously thinking of the words to say to him. But my mind keeps coming short.

"You look like I'm interrogating you right now or something. Why the tense atmosphere." Khalil let out, his piercing yet amusing gaze on me.

"I'm tense? I'm just flattered you dressed up all good for me." I shot back with a raised brow, a smirk playing on my lips.

He released a breathy laugh once again throwing his head back. His good mood threw me off considering I was expecting him to be shooting glares and mumbling insults.

"I can't help it. You make it so irresistible not to." He grinned sitting up to rest his elbows on his knees rubbing his hands together. "Any reason you wanted us to talk?" He tilted his head to the side.

"Is there any problem calling my boyfriend to meet?" I scoffed out a laugh, the absurdity of the question making it hard not to.

"It wouldn't have been if we were in relationship." He raised a brow, his eyes piercing into mine, something Khalil was known for.

"What do you mean by that?" I queried.

"We both know what I mean by that Sumayya." He sighed running a distressed hand over his face, getting straight to the point; the opposite of what I was trying to do.

"I know things haven't been great between us." I started earning an understanding nod from him. "But things have been really complicated for me lately." I choked out pinching on the sleeves of the gown I was wearing.

Khalil's face remained calm listening to each word coming out of my mouth attentively. "But I'll try harder to fix this. To fix us. I've come to the realization that you don't deserve how I've been acting but I've understood them now and I'll try as much as possible to change. I promise." I rushed out sliding my sweaty hands in his but he still remained silent.

His eyes were glued to our interlaced hands on my lap not uttering anything making me sigh parting my lips just as he willed himself to talk.

"I wouldn't want you to will yourself to do something you don't want to do. That'll just be an impulsive decision that'll bring out the worst in each other." He paused chewing on his inner lip looking to be in deep thought. "I don't see the reason in mending a relationship that's already broken. I thought we talked about this already." Khalil said in a low tone, his eyes boring into mine the whole time.

I felt a lump growing in my throat as I shook my head clutching his larger hand in mine. "We did. And we can. We can fix it. I know I haven't been the best and that might discourage you but I promise it's different this time." I protested my eyes wildly roaming over his features in desperation, hoping to see anything. A tinge of hope. But I was hanging by a thin thread. And I delivered the last blow.

"Let's get married." I declared with a wide smile on my face.

My smile slowly fell when Khalil's facial expression remained blank. He shook his head slowly sliding his hands out of mine causing a deeper frown to mare my face.

"What's wrong?" I queried.

"We can't get married, Sumayya." He sighed raising his eyes to meet mine.

"Why's that?" I interjected.

"Because it won't work out. It can't. I can't go through with it." Khalil confessed his eyes flickering to the floor before flickering to mine, his jaws clenched.

"You still haven't given enough reason Khalil. I'm at odds right now and you're my only option. What else do you want me to do?" I pushed my hands up my knees staring at him in desperation.

"People aren't there for you to use when the time is right, Sumayya. You also have to think about how your decision impacts their life too. We're on a break, I never met your parents. Not once. We can't even have a conversation without being on each other's throats. How can we possibly talk about marriage at that?" He reasoned and I gulped looking away from him, trying to keep my tears at bay.

He was right.

"We're having one right now. And I'm willing to change I'm willing to be the patient one in the marriage I'm willing to do anything." I pushed my eyes pleading with him desperately.

"I want to get married to a woman who truly loves me, not someone who settled for me. I can't do that to myself." He declares his eyes soft yet stern.

He was worried about me. I knew that. Who wouldn't be? I'm here begging him to marry me but all he's been doing is rejecting me. My ego was bruised. But what was done was done. Just like our relationship.

I bit my bottom lip to prevent it from quivering looking to the side trying to blink by the tears that were threatening to spill. A warm hand enclosed around mine but I refused to look at him, more like I was too embarrassed to. I felt his arms wrap around me after and I pushed down her another sob leaning my head against his chest.

It was ironic the person responsible for my pain was the person embracing me telling me it was going to be okay.

And that was the last time Khalil spoke to me.

And God that hurt.

•••

I was currently sitting in the living room that was  located upstairs on facetime with my friend, Munira. My mind was all over the place but I was trying as much as possible to take my mind off but there was a small voice at the back of my mind repeating the words like a mantra.

I embarrassed myself and got rejected in the process.

Nice Sumayya.

I regretted my actions towards Khalil and appreciated the fact that he still offered a shoulder to cry on even with the difficult favor I asked for him. 'Don't worry about it" was what he said when I apologized profusely for my selfish acts but there was no judgment in his eyes, the worry clouding his eyes was the only thing that made me feel a bit better.

It never dawned on me what I lost until I lost it and that was Khalil. I would definitely miss his odd sense of humor and how he threw his head back laughing at a stupid thing I said. I felt like myself when I was around him but just like any other human being, I took it for granted. I took him for granted and it cost me.

I was happy for my sister because she was getting married to the person she loved and that feeling was the best considering there was a time it would have been me. But overall, Hameed was a great guy and he treated her well. That was all I needed.

I had a fiancée a year ago but he died at a car accident which resulted to me not really being interested in the whole marriage thing. We had different personalities but we somehow managed to work through it. Our relationship got to the point where our parents knew each other and such. After some time, he came to ask for my hand in marriage and my parents were overjoyed but at that time, Safiyya was single so we pushed back the date. And that was one of the reasons we didn't really get married.

Safiyya blamed herself claiming that it was her fault considering if she had a fiancé, we would have been married but I never saw it like that. That was how it was meant to be. We weren't supposed to be married.

One of the reasons I actually got with Khalil was to prevent the same thing happening to her. But I was too focused on myself to care how he felt. God I'm terrible. I snapped back to reality upon hearing my name being called by Munira.

"Earth to Sumayya." She sang with her tilted her head to the side. "I have been calling your name for two minutes now. What's wrong?" Munira asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"I'm just —  Hameed is asking for Safiyya's hand in marriage as we speak." I blurted out as her high pitched squeal ringed in my ears.

"When?"

"Like right no — " My sentence was cut when I heard a person clear their throat from my right side. I glanced at the direction to find my mother in the doorway with a huge veil covering her upper half, staring at me blankly.

"My mom needs me. I'll call you back." I told her as she nodded just as I ended the call, turning to my mother who as seemed, was still angry with me.

"You're needed downstairs, throw on a veil and come downstairs. Your father is waiting." She offered me a sympathetic smile walking away leaving me confused considering she was giving me the silent treatment and I knew for a fact that she was still mad at me.

I raise a brow at mama's weird behaviour but did as she said going to my closet picking up a maroon hijab throwing it on looking at the mirror. I shook my head choosing to go with the veil I wanted to wear.

I came down to the main living room expecting to see Hameed and my sister, instead seeing a man in his seventies with glasses sitting on the chair talking to my father with a pretty woman around my mother's age sitting beside him.

Then another man who looked quite attractive, sitting on the chair resting his head on his fist looking disinterested. I quirked a brow in question probably because I've never seen this people in my life and we weren't the people who really had visitors.

My father averted his gaze from the woman he was speaking with who was now talking to the attractive man to me. "You're here. We've been waiting for a while now." He gave me a knowing look whilst I returned a confused one, walking to the couch my mother was occupying, sitting beside her.

As soon as i sat down, I met eyes with the Imam at our neighborhood mosque causing me to furrow my brows in confusion turning to my mother for confirmation but she was looking the other way.

I stayed quiet fiddling with the knuckle rings that decorated my hand. I looked up again, glancing at the man I couldn't seem to keep my eyes off who seemed uninterested but I had a feeling he knew what was going on.

My eyes bounced from one person to the other as I caught the guest sharing a look with the woman beside him before focusing on my father who sat up in his seat, his attention on the old feeble man sitting beside him.

"Mallan Kabiru do we have everything we need?" My father asked the man sitting beside him with a rosary in hand, muttering under his breath. He paused his actions turning to my father with a nod.

What the hell is going on?

CHAPER TWO  FINISHED!!

Just what are Sumayya's family planning?