I GROAN INTERNALLY at Safiya's persistence looking for something to occupy myself with. I have been sitting on the same spot for over thirty minutes and she's just repeating what she said.

"I don't know how you want me to understand you when you're not making any sense." I let out picking up my phone scrolling through it.

"Maybe because you were using your phone when I was talking." She says snatching my phone from me not bothering to look at the screen.

"First, it has been an hour plus of you talking about whatever you're talking about and I'm sure people are worried about me. Second, give me back my phone." I said snatching back my phone as she mean mugged me from the other side of the room.

"Sumayya, we have known each other for our whole lives so I might even know you more than yourself. I know when you're trying to avoid a conversation. You are a book." She says making me smack my lips.

"I am not going to stand here trying to advice you while you're acting like this, and Hameed will be here in an hour or so. If you come back to your senses, I'll be there to tell you." She says grabbing her phone leaving me sitting on the grey couch of the similar colored living room.

I huffed sitting back crossing my arms over my chest. If you're wondering, Safiyya is my twin sister and we were both twenty six. We rarely argued and whenever we did argue, she was usually right and that irritated me everytime.

Hameed is my sister's fiancé who she's planning to get married to by the end of the year. My parents are planning to get us married on the same day because they say it isn't right to seperate twins. I am not really against the whole thing nor is it that I don't have a suitor but I have been really considering breaking up with him.

He keeps asking me when he's going to come ask for my hand in marriage and I keep procrastinating every time asked.

This is what our conversation about but I didn't really want to talk about it which resulted to the argument. The reason I didn't want to talk about it was because the situation has been really taking a toll on me. My thoughts were interrupted with my phone ringing. I picked it up checking the caller ID to see Khalil calling me as I answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

"I'm busy right now Khalil. Call me back another time."

"Are you already at home?"

"Yes it's been a busy day here"

"Perfect." He sighs. "I'm outside."

"...."

He ended the call before I could reply making me sigh looking down at my phone before walking towards my closet staring at my reflection in the mirror. I looked presentable and I wasn't in the mood to see anyone so I slipped on my slides waking down the stairs and out of the house.

I exited the house rolling my eyes when I realized he was parked far from the house, and I would have to walk  all the way to his that could be seen in the distance. I started my long work there with a frown on my face, already feeling the sun burning my face.

I finally could see Khalil leaning against his car with his arms crossed over his chest lazily, his eyes squinted due to the sun. I smacked my lips narrowing my eyes as I walked closer to him sighting a smile already lighting up his features.

"Makes it all worth it." He mumbles leaning down to wrap his arms around me causing my lips to tilt up slightly at the confession. He pulled away after a few seconds invading all my senses with his strong cologne. His face moved closer to mine to place a peck on my lips but I was quick to turn my head to the side, his mouth landing on cheek instead.

The action spoke words that I wasn't in the mood to explain so I mimicked his action a while ago, crossing my arms over my chest. "And what happened to calling?" I raised my brows tilting my head to the side.

"That's if the calls answered." He shot back raising a brow as if daring me to speak. I release an irritated breath through my nose.

"While we're on that topic, is there something I need to know?" He asked just as my eyes snapped to his, my brows furrowing in reflex.

"If there was you would've known." I replied simply.

"Then what's the sudden change in character this past few weeks?" He cocked a brow once again waiting for an answer, his face serious.

"I just haven't been feeling like myself lately. I'm sorry." I apologized looking at him through my lashes hoping it was enough to persuade him.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips as he leaned his head back for a few minutes before glancing at me once again. "I'm going to need a lot more convincing." He looked down at me making me smirk as I walked toward him to stand beside him.

"And what would that be?" I whispered with a smirk waiting for the blow. Weighing my pros and cons knowing he would probably pick an impossible option.

"Let's go." He gestures to sleek BMW parked behind noticing it was the first time I was seeing the car not to mention it was looking brand new. I raised a challenging brow at him earning a laugh from him as he jerked his head to the car, signaling me to get in.

The tips of my fingers brushed over the hot yet slippery surface of the car with a small smile playing on my lips impressed by the design. I slid in the car not long after turning to glance at the man seated beside me behind the wheel.

"I actually like this." I comment taking in the interior of the car which looked way better. He laughed at my passion for cars pressing the button to start.

He hummed backing out of the driveway and out the gate. A low song was playing but I had no idea what not that I cared. The air conditioner was hitting me in the right places and I turned my head to look at Khalil's side profile as he drove.

"I don't want to put out a cheesy line like 'take a picture It'll last longer' but yeah, something like that." He said with a laugh earning confused stare from me before I joined him. I couldn't help it.

"That was even more cheesy. I mean it would've left me embarrassed at least." I laughed out looking out the windshield at the road causing him to raise a questioning brow.

"And why would I need you to feel that way around me?" He smirked causing me to bite my lip and stare at him instead.

"Because you always do it." I reminded.

"I like seeing you flustered babe. There's a difference." He corrected turning a corner pulling the car to a stop. I peered at him waiting to explain where we were considering it was just a large black gate meters from us.

"Now that's just got me flustered then." I fanned myself with my hands batting my eyelashes at him in which he laughed about. "Are you going to tell me where we are?" I added.

He reached over the console to hold my hand. "Where else to go out on a romantic date with you?" He leaned his head back looking at me with low eyes offering me a lazy smile.

He got out of the car walking over to my side just as I stepped out, closing the door behind me. He came behind me wrapping his arm around my neck and the other around my waist causing a laugh to rumble through my throat.

"Can you not." I dragged my words placing my hand over his arm pulling it gently just as his grip slackened sliding down my arm to hold my hand. I glanced at him finding a smile still painted on his face.

He pulled out a card placing it over a scanner and it clicked as the door opened. He pulled me with him through the gate and the sight left me speechless. Different cars from different companies were scattered across the open area.

I gawked as Khalil pulled me with him once again stopping to talk to a man. He turned to me once the man walked away and I looked up not able to fight back the stupid giddy grin on my face.

"Since you won't let me buy you one, why not drive them?" He chuckled watching my grin get even wider if that was possible and I squealed wrapping my arms around his neck hugging him.

"This means a lot thank you so much." I squealed as he stood aside gesturing to the fleet of cars to choose from. I pushed my lips to the side thinking of the one I was going to choose. I walked around accessing the cars and it's interiors and Khalil would only stay behind chuckling at my excitement.

We spent hours in that place and I wouldn't have minded to spend another day there, but it was getting late and going out with one of the cars for a drive took some time.

I was really grateful for the effort Khalil put in this just for me because he knew I loved cars. All the cars were new that was obvious. And I knew he had to pay a hefty amount for him to be able to drive one of the cars out of the premises without buying it. 

It's been so long since I've smiled or been excited for a long time so I felt pretty refreshed. Khalil stopped in front of my house turning to look at me. I was too engrossed in my phone to notice us arriving.

"We're here." He informed me and I glanced up at the house letting out a shocked gasp. I pocket my phone meeting his gaze. "I hope we can do this again sometime. Without kidnapping you of course." He squinted his eyes playfully at me earning a loud chuckle from me as I placed my hand over the handle.

"Thank you Khalil. It was really nice." I smiled letting myself out of the car only to find Hameed and Safiya also making their way inside the house. I waved him goodbye once again and walked towards them, a smile making it's way to my lips when I saw Safiya beaming.

"And where were you?" She raised her brows, placing her hand on her hip.

"I think that's self explanatory." I gestured to the spot Khalil was parked moments ago.

"Come on let her go." Hameed pulled her closer to him, immediately easing some tension off her shoulders. My eyes landed on him and I smile softly, nodding subtly to thank him, though my eyes couldn't help but linger on him for a few seconds.

"We just went for a drive. I was feeling cooped up." I shrugged my shoulders, crossing my arms over my chest feeling a bit cold.

"You have work tomorrow though. You never let anyone or anything interfere with your weekend." Safiya tilted her head to the side, her head resting against Hameed's arm, his free arm wrapped around her.

"And?" I darted my eyes elsewhere obviously guilty, and speed walked to the front door, hearing her calls for me but didn't dare look back.

•••

I always wondered how people enjoyed going to weddings. The society criticized the people who refused to have them and praised the people who held them because they benefited from the event.

It was also a place where women who are eligible for marriage tend to go often, in hopes of getting someone there. My friends also had that in mind. Everyone wanted that one friend of the groom sweep her off her feet and start the epic love stories we read on wattpad envying the girls lucky enough to have that.

That was how a lot of couples met sometime ago but with the invention of social media, people no longer put effort into those. Men no longer scoured for the prettiest or calmest girl in the room. Instead, they were buried in their phones posting their pictures to attract other people.

And that's how I ended up staring at the woman holding the microphone trying to entertain the guests as I squirmed in my uncomfortable seat, the heavy earrings making my head hurt.

Safiyya was beside me beaming as she watched the couple walk hand in hand to the dance floor, holding each other as they danced slowly to the music. It was an underrated feeling getting married to someone you loved but I was never into romantic gestures like this.

I wouldn't stare at them in admiration like how Safiyya and any other girl in this bright hall did, instead I'll take my time to inspect their clothing.

"They're so cute." Safiyya mumbled with her eyes latched onto them in awe. I wouldn't be surprised if she was picturing herself in their shoes considering that was how I felt before Qasir died.

I hummed in reply scrolling through my phone just as Khalil sent me a message asking me about the wedding. I stared at the unopened message for sometime before sliding it out of my view choosing to ignore the message.

I heaved out a sigh keeping my phone down pinning my eyes on my twin sister who was also engrossed in her phone with a wide smile on her face as she typed furiously onto the screen. I smiled content with seeing her happy before tuning to the woman sitting beside me engaging in a conversation.

What will my life hold?

**

I couldn't understand for the life of me when my life turned this miserable. I found everything uninteresting leaving me in a bottomless pit crawling around searching for anything that can bring me closer to the small beam of light shining through the pit.

I scrolled through my phone coming across the picture of the couple I attended their wedding with Safiyya a month ago, taking the signature mirror image with the husband standing slightly behind her. My finger double tapped on the photo and scrolled further down hoping to get something that'll pique my interest.

Once again, my phone started ringing abruptly earning a sigh from me when I noticed it was Khalil calling me once again.

I don't know why came over me but ever since he took me out, I've been ignoring him and I couldn't understand that for the life of me. I couldn't beat to talk to him nor what I in the mood to see him. He stopped trying the next day so it was truly surprising to see him calling after so long. I pushed the thoughts out of my head choosing to answer the call for a change.

"Hello." I answered the phone with a flat tone.

"Hey. How — " He cut himself off heaving a sigh.

"How are you doing? Is something wrong I haven't heard from you in weeks." He asked and I squeezed my eyes shut hating the concern lacing in his tone.

"I'm fine. There's nothing wrong. Is that the reason you called?" I replied flatly.

"I can't call you now?" He sighed.

"I know you told me, but are you really okay?" He pushed yet again making me break.

"I'm not. I'm really not Khalil and I'm really sorry I couldn't come out and say this earlier. I've been so selfish I never thought of you and how you felt. Not once." I choked out as the tears kept rolling down my face uncontrollably.

Khalil was quiet and I took it as my cue to continue. "I know I've been distant and you've been trying your best to make it up to me and I was too occupied with my emotions to the point that I turned ungrateful. I'm not in the right headspace and I don't think I'll give you what you what. Not now at least." I paused at loss for words.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Khalil asked making me drop my eyes or the floor as I fiddled with the hem of my shirt. "Even if I wasn't there you would've at least gotten it off your chest. That's the main reason I'm here, don't you think?" He added.

I nodded my head forgetting he couldn't see me. "I didn't want to get anyone involved. It's my burden." I shrugged.

"Sumayya if there's anything you are, you aren't a burden. Even if you don't share it with me, share it with someone. If anything, they'll be ecstatic for you to share your fears with them." He advised and I stayed quiet listening to him. I really don't deserve him.

"Thank you, Khalil." I whispered into the phone, all words failing me leaving me helplessly clinging onto the phone.

"It is what it is. Take care of yourself." Those were the onnly words he relied me with, although I knew he had a lot more on his mind. He refrained from sharing those thoughts with me.

CHAPTER ONE IS FINISHED!

How do you like the chapter?