Dear nostalgia,
        I sigh as I sit and I stare out the window
       I was focused on my purpose and I hardly thought of the life that I left behind
       Stuck in the middle of a very difficult task, I dragged my hands through my hair and I lay my head on my table
       And then my lips stretched upward as as you suddenly thrust one old
      heartwarming incident in my face and I let out a laugh surprising myself in the process

You showed me my former friends and the silly games that we used to play
      the times when I was younger and my parents used to scold me all the time
      those special ones I used to have a huge crush on that I'm totally oblivious of their whereabouts today
      My nonchalant and carefree attitude towards my life and my future

I sat there gazing at the skyline and the pretty artwork of the city over the horizon
       my mind wandered beyond the view and my grin was instantly wiped out
      as my vision began to blur and I swallowed a huge lump in my throat
      the scene shifted and my heart clenched at the sight as the tears fought to be free

My mistakes and my losses were all poured down on me
    The pain of the loss of the ones so dear to me crashing down on my chest
    The thrill of being young and energetic and feeling like I could do anything
    And the lucid pictures of my old home and city washed over me and I shivered from the memory

All I can say is that my present life is my present life
     And my past will always remain my past and there's nothing I can do about it
      But you bring the sickeningly sweet memories back for me to laugh and to smile
    To cheer myself up when I'm overwhelmed with myself and my dark thoughts

You have always been kind, been so generous
   You've helped me in the harder time
You've tried to keep my view of the world rose coloured
But I would still curse you why?

Whenever you are not here the world seems even darker
And I will forever wish to be back in the world you've shown me
You are torturing me with your kindness
Suffocating me with your generosity

You give me so much hope anytime my blood spills
Out of my body you seem to be the first to heal it
With the delightful memory of scraping my knee because I was enjoying the world

Teaching me that with joy will always come pain
And however much joy you give
I still feel like you've left me
You've forsaken me
I want these memories to be reality

I don't need to look at them fondly
I need to be able to live them again
Why is everything better in hindsight
Lemme live in joy
Then I hope I won't need you