Olive,

It's 2 AM and I can't sleep. I guess I should've seen it coming. Didn't really expect too.

You know, I realized I only write in this whenever I'm feeling sad, lonely, or pissed off. I miss you, and as screwed up as it is, I only come here when I need you.

Olivia, I'm pissed off now. I don't know what to do, I know what I should do, but there's no way I'm going to do it.

I should apologize to the person I heard, but I'm too damn pissed to really care. She's supposed to be there for me, she helped me when all that crap was going on with Rissa, and now look at her! She's never there! I try so hard, and what do I get? Hell for it.

There's crap going on again, but there's no way in hell I'm telling her about it now. I hate her, Olive! She's always too busy or doesn't feel like talking, so what am I supposed to do? You know what? Maybe I don't feel like talking anymore either.

Why did you have to go? You were always good at this shit. If I had a problem, you'd sit me down, or I could call you, and we'd talk about it until I didn't feel like cussing anymore, until I knew exactly what to do. Now I don't know what to do, I'm angry, and you're still freaking gone!

I can't forgive you for leaving, just like I can't forgive her for what she's done to me. I try so hard, she can't even see it. I'm glad I walked away, Olive, I really freaking am.

Why can't I sleep? Is it because I miss you, because I'm pissed at her, because I just straight up hate myself?

I don't care.