Dear Olivia,

Why did you have to be so stupid? You know I was always there for you. You could have picked up the phone, damn it! I would have been here. I might be in Cali, but that doesn't mean I can't be there.

Or maybe it does.

I wasn't there, was I?

I left you where you were, having a rough time, when your parents were fighting and shit. Where was I? Worrying about my own pathetic problems like the selfish little bitch I am.

I'm sorry.

I deserve it all. I deserved to lose you. You understood, you were there for me when Mom died, but where was I when you thought about taking your life?

In Cali.

In my room.

Hiding from everything and everyone.

Pathetic.

It should have been me.