{4th july 2012; american independence day}

dear jen,

it actually feels like i haven't written to you in forever. my words are all kind of...dried up.

jesus christ, i wish my tears would dry up too, so i could stop fucking crying.

there's this line in a cartoon movie that liz really liked- i think it's called monsters vs. aliens- where one of the characters says that he would cry, but he lost his tear ducts in a war. she used to laugh so much at that joke, jen, and i would laugh at her laughing, and together we'd laugh the house down.

i've forgotten how to laugh now, just like i've forgotten how to write you these letters, and i haven't lost my tear ducts in a war, i haven't lost my tear ducts at all, so i just keep crying.